Location sharing- I think I’m worryingly in the minority

[PomPomHead]

I am seriously worried that I’m in the minority here and the world’s gone mad. Why would you share your location All The Time with every member of your family ( even, as in the case of my friends, with your
married 30 year old daughter!)? Why does nobody feel able to be independent and unwatched ? It baffles me and nobody has been able to persuade me of the so-called safety benefits?
Is checking your location now the new showing me you love me?

I have it with my DH and my in laws. We will have it with our DC when they are old enough for a phone.

I don't really see any reason not to share it. If we are visiting in law they can see how far we are to arriving, my DH can know if I'm stuck in traffic or still at work if he can't get hold of me. I also walk alot to and from the gym (sometimes at 9pm at night). I like it as an extra safety element. If I'm late back he can check to see where I am and if I am on the move.
There isn't anything I need to hide from my DH (even the sneeky McD trips) and he isn't constantly checking it so it doesn't bother me.

I have mine switched off unless I need to use maps.

I’m fine with it. I’m 40 and share my location on Google with my dad! He just likes to have a look and see where his daughters are - same as when we go on holiday he likes our flight details so he can track the plane leaving and landing. I have nothing to hide and it makes him happy. Why not? And it’s handy for me sometimes as my parents are always late so I can see where they’ve got to when they’re travelling to visit me!

I can see where my husband and kids are on find friends. And my sister and brother. We're all adults. I find it quite useful. I can see if my son's at work and not call him! Can check to see if my husband is coming straight home from work or has gone to his mum's and not call him. I can check if my brother is already at my mum's house and stop worrying about whether he'll be there in time to get her to her doctors appointment, and not call him.

@0RACLE

What makes you think my son having his location on means he can't 'grow and learn and experiment'? He can and does do whatever the fuck he wants whether I know where he is or not.

So now they’re off out somewhere without their phones, so without the means to call someone for help if needed, potentially without access to money, etc. A great way of making sure they’re safe!

Of course he can't. He will obviously modify his behavior if he knows his mum is watching.

A great way for them to learn how to look after themselves without endlessly depending on mummy and daddy.

I use Life 360 with my kids - dd19 and ds13. I don't really use it for dd, but I've had issues with ds recently and it's been a lifesaver. I send my location to my bf when I'm driving to his, 40-45 minutes. He lives in an apartment and comes down to carry my bags up, more than happy with that one!

On the other hand, xh used it as a form of abuse. But on the whole, I don't get the need for another adult to know where I am 24/7. If anyone wants to know where I am, they can call me.

Well yes, but my point was that those who claim tracking is keeping their kids safe, or about knowing they’re safe, is potentially making them less safe in that they don’t have their phones… most of us nowadays don’t know people’s numbers by heart etc and would be pretty stranded without a phone if we needed to contact someone urgently.

Right, yes, got you! Yes - taking a phone is, these days, pretty important as there are no public phone boxes, but that doesn’t have to be a tracked phone (depending on age, of course).

No you're NBU. I find it really weird too.

That being said, I am a huge hypocrite because my friend and I do share our locations with eachother but only because we live far apart and often go on holiday together with the kids. It just helps as we often don't have partners with us and means the first person to arrive can know sort of how long the other will take, without calling and distracting from the road. It is switched off when not going away together.

How is questioning the use of a tracking app being controlling and judgemental? I have a different view to you. At no point am I controlling you to stop using it. It’s a debate.

You said in the opening post that you were seriously worried. That sounds like a bit more than just a debate.

I don't really care whether people use them or not, so long as no one is having to use one against their will or without their knowledge.

I totally agree with you. I find invasive and wouldn't share anyway. People who say oh it's helpful to know when to put food in the oven well, Christ - live a little.

I think it’s a serious concern at a societal level. I think it makes people far more anxious than they need to be, at the very least.

And as I mentioned earlier, anyone in a relationship risks having their location shared by their partner without their knowledge and against their will.

I think tracking a partner might be a bit weird but honestly for me and dc life 360 saved our sanity.

after dh died, dd3 aged 12 at the time had a terrible couple of years where she became increasingly anxious and panicky every time me or dd2 left the house and I mean, full blown panic attacks, hysterical crying, she thought I would die to if I set foot outside the door, I couldn’t even go to the doctors, nor walk the dog, she wouldn’t settle at school, just wanted me glued to her side all the time.
Life 360 gave us the breakthrough we needed, she could check where I was, track me if I went out and just overall she had that peace of mind she desperately needed. I was willing to forgo my own lack of privacy.

shes 15 now and she rarely checks it, I rarely check her. I asked her if she wanted to delete the app and she said no it helps me.

ive had to stop dd2 18 from seeing my location because she would use it to stalk me if i left the house, ask me questions where I was, why was I there, who I was with and I found that utterly ridiculous. I turn it on for her only if I’m walking somewhere remote etc

I have a friend who is insistent I do this and when I turn it off she inevitably texts me to say I can't see your location?! I blame it on my phone playing up and have come up with various reasons why I'm not bothered about it (all of which falls on deaf ears) I realise that 'no is a complete sentence' etc - sadly she doesn't seem to share the shame opinion. I find it a bit weird to be honest!

I think the level of CCTV and ring doorbells there are is a concern. There is no doubt that we are all being watched almost all the time.

I do agree with you about partner's location sharing yours being an issue - this is why I personally wouldn't be sharing location with any adults, unless for a specific reason.

Agree that those are a big concern as well.

We have a couple of generations who seem to have zero expectation of privacy. Coincidentally 🤔 those are the same generations dealing with appalling mental health.

We need to join the dots. We can’t keep our children “safe” all the time - certainly not once they’re adults - and nor should we. That is a prison. A prison created by parents who for whatever reason can’t let go.

I've only used location sharing in very specific instances, trying to meet someone in an unfamiliar place. I worry it's probably used more often to control/abuse or feed anxiety than in genuine lifesaving situations, though I would use it if I had a hobby that frequently took me to remote locations

This is a really interesting example of how tracking can be both for the good and bad. Most people tracking don’t have such trauma that might make it a good idea to begin with, though.

I’m sorry for your loss, and I hope you and your girls are OK x

It’s a personal choice. I don’t do it, but also don’t see the need to get wound up about other people doing it. Surely it doesn’t matter what you do and what others do?

We have it for DS who is 14 and loves independence and biking, not for eachother though I can understand some families might have really really complicated logistics where they need to track adult movements maybe. But for average day to day I'd find it very odd.