Location sharing- I think I’m worryingly in the minority

[PomPomHead]

I am seriously worried that I’m in the minority here and the world’s gone mad. Why would you share your location All The Time with every member of your family ( even, as in the case of my friends, with your
married 30 year old daughter!)? Why does nobody feel able to be independent and unwatched ? It baffles me and nobody has been able to persuade me of the so-called safety benefits?
Is checking your location now the new showing me you love me?

The fact that you know this is disturbing. Your adult son’s sex life is none of your business.

We use it intermittently e.g if someone is travelling alone. Just for price of mind. Sometimes use it if family are on way to meet us.
I have young teens and it is reassuring to know where they are or on way home etc.
Also use it at big theme parks when they go off alone so that we can find each other.
I don’t have it on all the time. I would hate that.

But you shouldn't know that! Boundaries people!

Why at uni? They are adults. I’d have been mortified with my mum knowing where I was all the time when I was at uni! It seems quite controlling.

DP and I both share locations for practical reasons; seeing how far away the other is when waiting to be picked up, en route home etc. We only ever bother checking it in those circumstances.

Same for us. I get why some people might not want it, but for others it can be helpful.

I'll probably get destroyed for this, but I've got several family members I share locations with.

• High school age kids (school's about 90mins away on the bus, we are very rural so it's useful to see where they are or if they're out with friends)
• Sister-in-law lives alone so for safety reasons she asked to share her location
• Parents - getting older and both have health issues
• Husband - works alone, rural area, manual job, so again a safety reason
• Sister - lives alone in a city, safety again

We don't watch each other 24/7, but there are real safety or practical reasons why it can be useful.

Biids is doing a very good job of demonstrating how in the wrong hands tracking is no longer benign.

It's not disturbing. We chat you know. That's all!

Is there an issue with your sister that she can’t live alone in a city without being tracked? Surely tracking her compounds any feelings of insecurity she might have?

I share my location with my DH, and when the kids are old enough to be out alone it’ll be compulsory for them until they’re old enough and independent. It was useful with DH when the kids were babies as I knew how long I had to just hang on for till I could get some help and has just become a habit now.

I share my location with friends and certain work colleagues temporarily if I’m driving to meet them so they can see where I’m at and I don’t get stressed by texts whilst on my way.

But it’s not all, is it? You track his movements and he knows it. An adult man living away from home being tracked by his mother.

As a woman, I don't think it's unusual to feel insecure or worry about safety, whether you are sharing you location or not.

I don't track her, but her location is available if someone hasn't been able to reach her for an unexpected period of time.

Not really any need to chat about it given you already know everything is there? He can't exactly lie or have any secrets or do anything you wouldn't approve of.
I'd be wary of the level of intrusion you are showing him is normal. Very easy to slip into being controlling or being controlled. You're telling him it's fine to constantly watch/be watched.

I don’t even have location services on unless I’m using Waze.

My mum is 80 and has no interest in tracking me. It would probably increase any anxiety she had about me, by encouraging constant checking and reinforcing insecurities if she couldn’t get in touch with me or the app stopped working.

As a woman, statistically the most dangerous people to us are those that are closest to us (the men specifically). The ones we are signing our every move over to...
I do think we need to be very careful when weighing up risk/benefit of these tracking apps.

As someone who’s done her fair share of living alone in London, in a pre-mobile phone and smartphone world, to me that’s a more extreme form of insecurity - and I wonder that it’s exacerbated by this kind of tech. It makes people feel less safe than they need to.

I think the ‘if you have nothing to hide, what’s the problem?’ argument is unhelpful and the start of a slippery slope.

I have nothing to hide, but I still value my privacy and that of others. There’s nothing in my handbag that I wouldn’t want others to see, but I wouldn’t be impressed to find someone rooting through it.

It doesn’t take much for ‘if you’ve nothing to hide, why not turn on tracking’ to turn to ‘if you’ve nothing to hide, why can’t I read your messages?’ , or listen in on calls, or go with you when you meet your friends, or see your bank statements etc. It’s manipulative and coercive.

Yes. You may not see it, or want to admit to it, but it is.
" I don't want to use a tracker, mum."
"Can you think about why we think it's a good idea to have? What about if you get kidnapped, or hurt somewhere, etc..." you'd be projecting your fears and anxiety onto your kids and hoping they went along with it to alleviate them and make you feel better.
So they wouldn't really get a choice in whether they wanted to or not, would they. At least not a free one.

Indeed. I have nothing to hide from my boss but I wouldn’t agree to her tracking me 🤣🤣

I can’t believe that when I posted earlier, I forgot the main reason I like my husband having my location.

I hate being interrupted by calls and texts constantly all day, so I have my phone near-permanently on silent. I am also incredibly good at misplacing my phone right before we’re due to leave the house.

Do you have any idea how late I would be if I had to spend time finding my phone again before I leave the house? Instead, my husband can go on find my friends and as our Apple accounts are linked as a household, he can get my phone to make a pinging sound even when it’s on silent.

Probably not an issue if you’re a sensible, organised person 🤣

It’s nobody’s business where I am as I am an adult. DP and I don’t follow each other. The rule in our house is that you have your life 360 on until you leave uni.

I think that is a little contradictory - university students are adults.

You could do all that with do not disturb settings and find my phone type features. Constant location sharing isn't necessary at all.

@Digdongdoo why would I do that when my current system works perfectly?

It’s never occurred to me to track my kids (or be tracked myself). I grew up before mobile phones so my parents had no clue where I was when I was out. My kids have phones - so I could ring or text them. That’s enough for me.

If you’re often leaving your phone at home doesn’t that mean your husband is tracking your phone, not necessarily you?