Location sharing- I think I’m worryingly in the minority

[PomPomHead]

I am seriously worried that I’m in the minority here and the world’s gone mad. Why would you share your location All The Time with every member of your family ( even, as in the case of my friends, with your
married 30 year old daughter!)? Why does nobody feel able to be independent and unwatched ? It baffles me and nobody has been able to persuade me of the so-called safety benefits?
Is checking your location now the new showing me you love me?

Why does it bother you?
Nobody is making you do it.
Each to their own.
Live and let live OP.

I do it- in fact it came in very handy when my 30yr old daughter dropped her phone out of her bag while on a walk- I was able to tell her exactly where it was so she could find it!

I don’t think she is and it isn’t that at all. Why are some people so awful.

Because they need to know when to put the dinner on.
Apparently

I have a tracker app on DS (13) phone which I rarely look at. Earlier this week he had a bad accident riding his bike and called me sobbing. He was with two friends and in their panic they told me they were at a particular park. Luckily I checked the app and they were at a totally different park which has a similar feature. I think in circumstances like this it's really valuable.

You don't have to have anything to hide to value your privacy.

Who even does that though? I don’t know anyone who shares their location except with perhaps their spouse but more likely underage kids. I do share mine with my uni aged DD but my son always refused to share his so got to respect that.

Totally unnecessary but amusing toy. My family all shared location when we were going on a joint holiday starting from different locations. We checked up to see who was where on the journey. Have never taken it off. Sometimes I am on maps and see my folks are at ANOTHER garden center. Makes me smile.

I do wonder how much people must alter their behaviour, even subconsciously, if they know someone is always watching...

I think it’s awful for an adult not to be allowed a life without their mother peering over their shoulder. I don’t think it’s good for them to think this is fine to do. We have a couple of generations growing up with no sense or expectation of privacy. That is a very bad thing.

There does seem to be an assumption by those who don’t like it, that everyone is constantly checking the app.

I’m not sure that’s how people do use it in real life. It’s incredibly useful for what it’s made for - tracking lost phones. It’s useful if you’ve tried calling someone to check where they are /when they’d be back and not got an answer. (Often due to driving). It’s useful in emergency situations like someone’s hurt or lost. But then if I had people in my family who’d check it all the time, I might not be as relaxed about sharing locations.

Apple tags are so useful. I wouldn't expect anyone to share their location and I wouldn't expect to share mine with just anybody. And yes i'd put anybody who tried to insist that I share right back in their box. As I said upthread it can be a useful facility but no one has to use it. I am not sure why the OP is so worried about what other people do?

If it works for you, then crack on!

Im just saying it can start a worrying trend towards control in relationships where one party is so minded. And to suggest all those who don’t want to share their location have something to hide is to miss the point entirely.

Also, it’s funny how so many people say they have it but almost never check it, yet there are always lots of posts about ‘oh I unexpectedly stopped at Tesco on my way home and dh messaged me telling me to get bread’ etc. For people who apparently almost never check it, it’s amazing how often, just by sheer and utter coincidence, someone checks it at the exact time they happen to be in a shop. Such a coincidence that they decided to check then, considering they seemingly almost never do so.

Have you checked that the former posters are also the latter posters? or could it be that - gasp! - different people do different things?

I've previously been stalked online and on my old phone by my exh so I'm very very cautious and wouldn't want to share my location with anyone. Got a new number now and am hoping to keep it as private as I can,

I find parents tracking their children incredibly creepy and invasive. Between couples it makes me think codependent or controlling. Between adult family members who don't even live together, bloody weird.

Exactly what I was thinking. I find the co-dependency and surveillance of family members displayed in this thread absolutely bizarre and, tbh, a bit creepy.

i think it’s unnecessary. I’ve heard friends say they track their kids walking home from school and if they are not walking straight home they call them to ask what they are doing. I think it is deskilling our young people in being able to make their own decisions, and makes them risk averse (in a bad way).

It gives you speed. I do consume a lot of
true crime ‘content’ so have a slightly skewed viewpoint on this, but I have always been vigilant about personal safety (I have a “If I Go Missing” file left at home for example so access to my contacts etc is easily available if required).

Triangulating phones takes time, and knowing I’ve been separated from my phone is also a red flag that I would prefer to be identified early if I am in danger.

There is literally nowhere either me or my husband can’t go, and we check that infrequently it’d be unlikely I would be spotted somewhere untoward (not that I am ever anywhere untoward), so there’s no worry about him seeing where I am.

It works for us, if it doesn’t work for you then don’t use it

I worry that it normalises tracking in a coercive control context. Totally get that is not how most people use it but I’ve worked with many women/ girls who are being controlled and tech has created new ways to stalk and control. Many of the women I’ve worked with have been convinced that it is absolutely normal for their partner to know where they are at all times, to be called numerous times if they are not where they say they are going etc.

I don’t use it with DC, in fact they go to a school which doesn’t allow phones on the premises, so don’t have phones with them to and from school. So far, no issues, they always have a bus pass or can walk if they need to.

Personally I’d hate for anyone to know where I am at all times, and I don’t want to be able to track family members either. None of us have ‘anything’ to hide, but expect a degree of privacy in our relationships.

Realise it works differently for many though!

Indeed.

So many people on MN are obsessed with resilience and teaching kids how to survive in the real world. How can people possibly improve resilience when obsessive tracking is going on?

The problem is that there is obviously significant overlap of those two groups.
Way too easy for boundaries to be blurred. People become the obsessive checkers or modify their behaviour without even noticing it.

I've shared my location with DH a handful of times when I've been in potentially vulnerable situations (a photoshoot; a work-related home visit to a man I barely knew...). No way would I put it on routinely.

This is always so hotly debated. My family don't location share at all, but I can't understand why it's anyone else's business – people are free to do so because they want to and they don't owe anyone a justification. Why do you care what other people are doing?