Location sharing- I think I’m worryingly in the minority

[PomPomHead]

I am seriously worried that I’m in the minority here and the world’s gone mad. Why would you share your location All The Time with every member of your family ( even, as in the case of my friends, with your
married 30 year old daughter!)? Why does nobody feel able to be independent and unwatched ? It baffles me and nobody has been able to persuade me of the so-called safety benefits?
Is checking your location now the new showing me you love me?

Don’t we do that anyway? If I put a picture of me and DH Facebook that’s far more public than my 360 circle which is closed and only visible by the members in it.

I think it's odd. I will occasionally share my location with my partner if I'm out hiking by myself or something like that.

My friend recently went on holiday with her mum and her sister and they were somewhere rural so got an app to track location just in case they split up. She got home and turned it off and her Mum rung her up asking to turn it back on so now, a 31 year old woman, she feels the need to have it on to appease her Mum. Nothing to hide but I just think have respect for people's autonomy.

All of these posts have made me want to remove Find My Phone. It just seems to enable so much lame behaviour. If your husband wants a hot dinner, it’s up to him to leave work on time, otherwise it’s left in the side and he can stick it in the microwave. If you need to know someone’s got somewhere safely then ask them to message you when they do.

Having it in for specific things makes sense, but keeping it running all the time seems unnecessary. And sharing it beyond the people you live with is just mad.

There was a thread recently where a woman was upset because her husband shared his location with his family and the family found out they were attending a fertility clinic. So many posters could not understand that if you are part of a couple you’re often sharing your partner’s location as well, and you may well be sharing a location without agreeing in that first, so maybe you shouldn’t share your location.

when my daughter went out riding alone, location switched on, fields and woodland,
long trips by car, trips abroad, ovenight stays, Tesco extra, lost in IKEA,
central London

as its better to be safe than sorry

I used to think the same as you. DC all share their location (teens and pre teen). I share mine with them too. DH and I share location too although I was initially resistant but it is helpful. I don’t check it loads, I would rather the DC communicated where they were but older two argue I can see where they are so they don’t need to update me.

I assume once they are 18 they will stop sharing…..although I think they share their location on Snapchat either friends.

I wouldn’t overthink it- just do what works for you!

Yes? That’s my point. The poster I was replying to was comparing the past, with phone boxes everywhere, with now, with no phone boxes - hence why kids are given phones once they’re travelling to school by themselves.

I’m not sure what I’m meant to be joking about?

How do you all see everyone's location? Is it just on iphones?

People deserve privacy, independence and, if they want and aren’t betraying anyone, to have secrets from their kids, parents, spouses.

If they want. However, I want to share my location with my spouse.

I'm quite sure my husband doesn't check where I am constantly but even if he did he can crack on. I have nothing to hide, couldn't care less if he knows where I am, couldn't care less if he knows where I am. I have nothing to hide, I don't need secrets. I am a grown woman and go where I want. I like the security when out running by myself end of. Nothing untoward about it.

It’s built in to iPhones but there are apps you can download that give a much more comprehensive overview of what the people in your circle are doing.

I have never felt the need for anything other than a basic location.

I wouldn’t overthink it- just do what works for you!
Exactly. Me and my friends have very personal reasons for wanting to share our location with each other. It works for us but I can completely understand why other people wouldn’t want to.

We have Android and use Family link for DS but Google maps can do it too. We have to share our location so we are all fully aware and consenting 😂

Thanks, what is family link is it an app? X

Exactly. A lot of times people can’t really tell how far out they are. Or there might be a delay on the track or traffic. I don’t mind glancing at their location and it drives me mad to receive a ton of texts.
At this stop now
Oh wait we’re delayed.
Now we’re going again.
Almost there

😩😩😩

All of these posts have made me want to remove Find My Phone. It just seems to enable so much lame behaviour. If your husband wants a hot dinner, it’s up to him to leave work on time, otherwise it’s left in the side and he can stick it in the microwave. If you need to know someone’s got somewhere safely then ask them to message you when they do.

That's not at all how dinnertime works at our house 🤣 Whoever is home first cooks dinner. I'm not some fifties housewife telling him that dinner is on the table at six and neither of us have the kind of jobs where you can just walk out of an office at five on the dot. If only. We both have very unpredictable, messy days and we are responsible for two incomes and two disabled kids between us. Logistics are tough and neither of us wants to be constantly on the phone checking in with the other. Can you imagine that other people live differently than you? That few people actually fit neatly into your idea of how a family works?

As for "ask them to text you when they get there safely", isn't the whole point that you are able to check on them when they don't do this? It's up to parents to decide on safety nets for their kids and it's up to adults to decide between themselves whether they want or need to share location. I cannot for the life of me figure out why anybody would have an opinion on other families' use of tech, much less invent reasons why it's not useful for others or why it's inherently controlling in order to prop up those opinions. If you don't like it or it's not useful for you, then don't do it 🤷but there's no need to call other people lame.

Your example is a good one of why it’s so invasive. If YOU have agreed to share your location that’s one thing but the person/people you’re with usually haven’t agreed to it.

I can't understand why you'd need to share photo updates on facebook either.

Everyone was raving about life 360 so we tried it. I hated it. I have 3 teens who happily tell me where they are going and will willingly send a pinned map location if I ask or if they’re walking home alone so it’s just for specific moments. I felt I was stalking the family with the 360 app. Very unpleasant. I want to be able toto go for a walk or drive while dh is at work without dh knowing my every move - not because I’m having an affair but because I might want to drive and listen to music by going the long way home. Dh knows I sometimes do this after a stressful day but doesn’t need that level of detail and similarly I don’t need an app telling me dh left the house. He’s an adult and allowed to come and go freely.

I prefer good communication with my dc.

It is, it's good if you have tweens/teens with phones that you need to monitor. We can set times that DS phone locks for bed, what time it unlocks. If he wants to download an app it sends us a request so we can review it first etc

I find it bizarre.

My friend is constantly checking on her DH; if he has arrived at work, when he leaves. If he's somewhere he shouldn't be she's straight on the phone to him. She gives the usual excuses of "I want to make sure he gets there safely" and "I want to know when to get tea on for" but it's clearly nonsense.

I find it exhausting just listening to it. My DH would be gearing up for divorce if I started that shit. I do understand tracking younger children on their way to school but fully functioning adults is bizarre.

Do you think your situation is that same as many that have been shared in this thread? If not, then it doesn’t apply to you.

You also seem to have neatly sidestepped the example I gave at the end as to why sharing with wider family can be invasive.

We do it for most of the family and love it . There’s an option to not do it if you don’t want to. I love knowing where my adult kids are and if they’ve arrived safely somewhere

But that's not a normal way to use it in my experience. Just because you have the capability to do that doesn't mean you should. This suggests there are other issues with the relationship.

Well that’s what most people use Facebook for 🤷🏼‍♀️

It sounds like fairly typical usage to me based on this thread. Making sure people arrive safely and knowing when to put tea on are the most common reasons repeated here. As is "we never go anywhere anyway", which means they are all absolutely noticing any time they do go somewhere...
It's fascinating that people recognise it as problematic in others but not themselves doing the exact same thing.