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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why are people so obsessed with touching babies?

54 replies

MyBusyTurtle · 24/07/2025 01:16

Went to a family outing on the weekend which ended up being a surprise engagement party. So way more people and music than we anticipated. We had also stayed at the GP place the night before so we could go to said catch up as we live 2 hrs away.

Our 4 month old was already a bit upset from the drive over and a really bad sleep, so we said hello to everyone, told them he is a bit overwhelmed and that we were going to find a quiet corner until he settles.

But lo and behold, we were flocked with people wanting to touch the baby and get in his face which made him cry. And most of this were his aunties who had seen him all yesterday and that morning with plenty of cuddles!

I kept telling them to give us a moment and they'd give about a minute before coming back over and talking about how much they want to 'eat him' or bringing over another relative who would also get in his face and ask to hold him. I even went inside to breastfeed him and people still followed. My SILs husband even told her off for scaring him at one point! She's pregnant right now and I'm really considering getting their kid an obnoxiously loud toy each birthday.

It happens every time we catch up with them and they just don't take no for an answer and ignore our requests to just let him be - doesn't matter if it's DH or me saying it. They usually stop if MIL says something, but then she comes over and does the same thing (although she does stop we when point it out)!

Maybe it's just because I never did, and still don't, have any interest in holding other people's baby (aside from my own of course!), but is it really that hard to just leave us alone?

OP posts:
Kiplingg · 26/07/2025 00:11

YANBU I absolutely hated this stage, especially strangers just sticking their hands into babies pram 🫣

SugarSoiree · 26/07/2025 14:21

CurlewKate · 24/07/2025 21:44

Strangers?….Intermittent cuddles with grandparents when it wasn’t to her detriment? Bloody hell!

Well yes, grandparents cuddling her while she's crying because she'd rather be with her mother, or is hungry, or is tired, or just doesn't want to be cuddled by whoever has her at the time is to her detriment. They are literally upsetting her for their own gain because they want baby cuddles and not for her benefit. Like the relatives in the OP that are grabbing at a tired overwhelmed baby that wants nothing to do with them.

That is why I took her off them and give her what she actually needs, because newborn babies don't need cuddles from grandparents, they need those later. At the start they need security with their primary care giver and their basic needs met. Now she's old enough to show who she does and doesn't want with body language and vocalisations it's not an issue anymore. She cuddles who she wants to cuddle and smacks away the people who were really grabby with her when she was a baby so I think that shows her opinion on the matter! She adores her grandparents and plays with them for hours on end so putting her needs before theirs clearly didn't harm her or the grandparent bond did it.

The only people who claim it is an issue is the grabby grandparents who aren't getting what they deem their fair share of baby cuddles.

Hols2024 · 26/07/2025 18:34

I have never understood the urge to hold or get in the face of other peoples babies even my own nephews who I love!
I think people need to learn to let children settle in new situations!

phoenixrosehere · 27/07/2025 18:52

NeedZzzzzssss · 24/07/2025 01:49

Like I said, it's nice when people care about your child. Not everyone has that. In a few more years OP will be moaning that no one ever visits or gives a shit about her child (which they won't if you're going to be rude and make them feel unwelcome). It's family, not a bunch of homeless lepers.

Edited

Or she does chill out and they show little interest in the future.

Plenty of parents have expressed on here that family were happy to take the baby off of them and pass them around but once the baby stage is over they all disappear.

There is no guarantee either way and the point still stands that it is unnecessary to be in a baby’s face when it is obvious they are unsettled and their parents would like to settle them without people still trying to take them.

You can show interest without being rude.

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