To think “burnout” is the new humblebrag?

[TheCandidGoldJoker]

It used to be “I’m so busy.” Now it’s “I’m traumatised by my calendar.” Same need for validation.

Not sure why the OP is getting such a hard time - I didn’t read any part of the post to mean they were suggesting burnout isn’t real or mocking people who have it.

I read it as saying there are people who CLAIM (self diagnose) they have it because they see it as a badge of honour. But those people have no clue what real burnout actually feels like.

As a few posters have said, those who have genuine burnout don’t tend to be in a place where they want to shout about it.

When I experienced burnout following years of fertility struggles and multiple pregnancy losses, losing a close grandparent and generally trying to keep everything together, no I wasn't bragging about it. What a stupid, ignorant post.

Totally agree, real burnout is brutal and many people underplay their pain, not exaggerate it. I suppose I’m talking about the cultural shift where sharing burnout (or stress, or overwork) gets social capital. Not the genuine sufferers but the way certain environments seem to reward displays of strain.

You’re right though, not everything is performative. But in a world obsessed with signalling, it gets harder to tell what’s being shared for connection… and what’s being shared for clout.

This. I dont understand how op is tonedeaf or mocking burn out. Nobody is claiming it isnt real or it isn't a terrible thing to go through or that people going through burnout are bragging 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Soulfulunfurling you are right but it’s exactly this kind of culture that leads to burnout.

Is it time for Mumsnet bingo? Who’s going to say ‘performative busyness’ first?

Believe me, @TheCandidGoldJoker, if you’d ever actually had burnout, you wouldn’t think it was a humblebrag.

Since the pandemic, 24/7 contact with the office has become normalised. Many of us work for organisations that outright ignore boundaries but leaving doesn’t feel like a viable option in today’s job market, with colleagues in other organisations all being made redundant. The advent of tools like Teams has massively helped with remote collaboration but meeting stacking is now very common. When you do 5-6 hours of back to back calls, you then have to actually do the work you’ve spent hours talking about - which ends up being in the early morning, later at night and often at weekends. Even if you don’t stack meetings, people just drop a call on you in the brief slots in between. You check your emails when you wake up and your Teams messages before bed - though if you don’t get back quick enough, you just get a WhatsApp on your personal phone. And the appetite from senior leaders grows as the digital tools make life ‘easier’.

I don’t really cry, not really my thing. So when my other half found me sobbing on the toilet at half ten one night because I couldn’t face another day, he was more than a little disturbed. When crying became a weekly thing and I stopped sleeping properly and having palpitations, he got more concerned. I’d always been the resilient, capable one and it was clear I was falling apart.

I completely burned out and it took a long time to recover from, in a new job that is equally busy but doesn’t feel as hopeless. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of colleagues too. It’s miserable, lonely and robs you of your sense of self.

So yeah, your dismissive attitude sucks, OP, but I still hope you don’t end up in the same position because burnout is horrible.

It’s just what people used to call “having a nervous breakdown” isn’t it?

I don’t think people are really doing it for social capital though. Taking even the last few years as a population we are sicker - waiting lists are long, thresholds for treatment are rising, plus we have an additional illness (covid) of which the after effects of infection already affect millions. Many who were already working stupid hours are now being stretched even thinner, irrespective of how profitable their companies are. If there is an issue with any basic life admin, it takes forever to sort out passed between bots and hold and relentless chasing. Money doesn’t go as far. I don’t think it’s humble bragging - I think lots of people are just being stretched ridiculously far. I think there is a distinct lack of action when people are crying out for help until it goes beyond crisis point - be it for health services or by trying to highlight the unsustainable mountains of work they are drowning in for too long.

A big issue raised by those living with the fallout is not being taken seriously by the very people who should have been listening and helping with appropriate action. It seems like people can’t take a fart in their bathroom alone in their house without someone poking their head through a window and saying “performative”.

Currently desperately trying to hide the fact that I am completely burnt out at work. Who the fuck wants to know that I'm constantly panicking, anxious, intermittently suicidal but can't bring myself to quit as I am trying to anchor myself with the very thing that's doing the damage.

I think OP's point is that neither do many of the people claiming it.

I have known two people who were burned out, one through being overworked and not supported by the team (taking up too much slack for too long) and another who spent months clearing up a massive shitstorm (of someone else's making they were sacked and got off lightly).

You don't need to be told someone is burned out, and it normally happens to people who don't share their burdens, so unlikely to tell you anyway.

Its also easy to spot those who have been through it and come out the other side

As someone who has had true burnout on two occasions, it's very serious and not something to joke about, it's awful.

No. It's very different

Yeah, no badge like a label, is there? Ultimately society is indulging this. You can see it in the replies here. Most of these labels describe real things, of course. But most people who claim to have it, really don’t. It all very performative, as PP said upthread.

It’s one of the reason the government is in such a mess now. Throw PIP around at anyone and you end up with people claiming it for resilience issues, calling it mental health. And not it’s completely out of control.

People who don’t understand the meaning of the word narcissist, and now anyone they remotely don’t like is a ‘narcissist’, apparently.

If you disagree with someone, they are ‘gaslighting’ you.

There are so many more. It must people feel clever and important. Rather than just accept that most of these things are just life. Everyday life. Cue responses from people that will liken their everyday experiences to being akin to being sent to the trenches.

YABU

Burnout means you can't cope any more. Why would anyone brag about that?

Only someone who never experienced it could have posted this.

YABVU, OP. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and it's a very difficult issue to overcome, particularly if you have a busy job and a family and have to spin way too many plates with no real break or not enough time to recover.

Do explain

I agree with this - there are many people using very serious clinical terms flippantly and it Waters down the true meaning of these terms - which is not helpful for people actually suffering- these include burnout , ptsd, anxiety, ocd, adhd - real conditions that are appropriated

Tell me you know nothing about burnout without telling me you know nothing about burnout.

Burnout, real burnout, is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Thankfully I've only experienced it once in my life.

I have shared my burnout with a few people.

i can assure you there is absolutely no social capital in it.

(performative busyness on the other hand…)