To think “burnout” is the new humblebrag?

[TheCandidGoldJoker]

It used to be “I’m so busy.” Now it’s “I’m traumatised by my calendar.” Same need for validation.

Iv had the worst 22 moths of my life.
Im a strong character a doer who would always power on and take on any challenge.
I feel like im a shell of my old sepf.
I no longer laugh or sleep or read or enjoy life!!
I’m stumbling along trying to right myself whilst navigating kids, business, special needs kiddo, chronic pain, and money problems 😭 I hate that Iv let this happen I’m not weak or to be pitied I just want to feel normal again.
so respectfully 🤫🤫

This is very very very different to actual burnout. Burn out is not play acting or competitive in the work place. People are hospitalised with burnout.

Burnout almost finished me. The physical manifestations of burnout are unbelievable. I hadn’t had a day off sick for 12 years and one day I shut my laptop and never went back. That was in January and I’ve only just started telling people that I suffered with burnout, now that I am starting to feel myself again.
Burnout really is no joke.

In what way is it a brag though? Even if they don’t mean burn out in the true sense they are surely saying they couldn’t cope with their commitments or demands so it’s not really a brag is it?

Of course it is totally different. That's why I said "claim to be burned out when they are not".

You forgot the sitting olympics.

How many hours someone has sat at their desk on zooms without having a wee or getting a biscuit.

"I didn't MOVE for seven hours yesterday!"

"oh my gosh well I didn't move for nine!!"

🙄🙄🙄

always people that you'd think would have no problem saying "been back to back, can we start in five minutes? Just need to nip to the loo and make a tea"

edit - not saying this is burnout. This is annoying stuff said by people who would claim to be burned out but actually aren't (yet..?)

I think it’s more about how it’s performed. Not “I couldn’t cope” but “I give so much that I’m burnt out” - it can still carry a tone of moral superiority. Almost like exhaustion becomes a badge of worth.

Im not sure brag is the right word. But if op means what I think she does. There is this weird culture where you're not doing enough if you are not exhausted. There was this thread about adults having lazy days and people saying they feel guilty if they watch tv. To me this sounds like a "butnout" culture. Don't get me started on how early people need to wake up.

I think what OP means is that some people would rather say "I'm suffering from burnout" than "I'm tired" or "I'm overworked", because the latter two are boring everyday conditions, whereas the first sounds more special and might elicit more sympathy.

Not throwing any shade on people who genuinely get burnout - it sounds horrendous. But the term is definitely entering the lexicon of therapy-speak that has crossed into ordinary language, and is being used because it sounds impressive.

The Japanese have word for this:

karōshi (過労死)

working yourself into an early grave for your employer and it being an honour to do so.

their work / life culture over there is shocking. 😟

I’ve had burnout for 25 years. It’s debilitating. It’s ruined my life

I cannot explain burnout, especially in my case where taking time off work to deal with it wasn’t possible, so I had no choice but to work through it and not tell a soul.

The months where it was the most acute have left me with a large grey streak in my hair, white lines across each of my nails which I am still growing out, and a speech impediment which may or may not be permanent. It brought me to my knees literally and I have very little memory of the hardest times for days or weeks at a time. I know I functioned as I have no choice but to do so but the marks it has left are horrendous and have put me in the hospital more than once.

This. Real burnout is horrible. Why are you mocking it op, is it a specific person?

Same here, dry heaving in the morning, tachycardia, night terrors, panic attacks. Was fucking awful. Had a flippant manager like op who made it worse by taking the piss.

Same here, I would mumble long covid, I felt weak.

The brag is that they are so incredibly hard working, important and necessary that they have to push themselves beyond their endurance to meet their extensive and vital commitments. With the extra brag being that they're so incredibly hard working important and necessary that they only get to ' be on the verge' of burnout before summoning just that bit more. Because they couldn't afford to give in on account of being so vital.

She's not. She mocking people who've appropriated a phrase describing a serious condition to mean they've got a lot on. See also 'I was traumatised by...(insert every day mishap of choice)'

I see what you mean - I don't think I've ever heard it from anyone though. I think most people who have really experienced it find it very difficult to talk about, because it feels like you failed to cope.

I want to thank you op for highlighting a taboo. Burn out is a taboo, not a humble brag. It’s a source of shame usually it happens to the most committed and hardworking in society, and viewed by them as some kind of weakness or failure. The very last thing they would ever brag about. It is easier to talk about cancer or anything else quite frankly.

Burnout is real.

After 25 years in a high-pressure career, with a number of insanely difficult managers and clients in that time, I finally cracked at the end of last year. I was having nightmares and couldn’t gather my own thoughts. I worked brilliantly I’m sure but I was hounded at work. Like a PP, a situation arose one day and I just walked out of work and never went back. If not even taken my coat off or put my bag down that morning and I just walked out and left my job and in fact my career behind. I then had to go through a gruelling settlement process, because actually I was in the right. I couldn’t afford not to work. I wasn’t trained to do anything else. And I hardly even had to make a decision about leaving that day. It was like I was on autopilot, it was a split second decision the likes of which I’d never made before.

6-7 months later I have another job paying about a third of what I was on and I’m scraping by. I can’t even think of working in that sort of environment ever again. I look at those sorts of jobs and it just feels like a massive head wreck.

I think I probably have/had burnout.

I'm close to burnout.

I feel slightly dead inside and feel sick every time I walk through the revoling doors to the office each morning

I have developed a long term health condition which has now had 3 failed surgeries and which is caused / exacerbated by stress

Recently I've noticed my hair is falling out..

I'll be honest it doesnt feel like a flex

No, I don’t think so.

The fact that you might have come across a lot of people suffering from it is more a comment on our society than on the people who have it.

My favourite is when people have to react to anything they consider frivolous "must be nice you have time to" or banging on abour how they would love to do x but can't cause they are too busy. And then on Monday at work they relay all the ridiculous amount fo stuff they did that was totally unnecessary.

Are people that imply “I’ve coped with so much and yet I’m not burnt out” being performative too?!

I haven’t suffered burnout, but had a colleague/friend who did, bloody horrific. From what I do understand, many people will say a fraction of how awful something like burnout is or how a disability is affecting them or how they’re coping with bereavement of whatever - precisely because of having to pretend everything is ok/better than it is.

Why is so much put down to being performative these days - whether it’s someone suffering or someone doing something good?

I get what you mean OP.. I can't think of a way to describe it that doesn't bristle people's hairs though.

Like a PP said, it's like when people say they're a 'bit OCD'. To use something so horrible so flippently. It's similar to that.