Nurse said something strange about breastfed babies

[Chocolateegg123]

My 8 week old had her jabs today. The nurse at my GP surgery was taking an awfully long time getting down to business and kept faffing around such as explaining how to use a syringe for the calpol for about ten minutes. Then, she asked me if I was breastfeeding and when I answered yes, she asked how it was going.

I was honest and explained I’d found it hard and we had to combi feed etc but that my mental health had been really awful whilst breastfeeding and so I have considered moving over to formula.

She then completely matter of factly stated… “breastfed babies are more intelligent so if you can continue feeding her your milk you should.”

I was kind of taken a back as I didn’t think this was true but also is this kind of advice ok for a health professional to give? Whenever I have gone to a local breastfeeding clinic or spoken to a professional about my struggles they have never ever said anything like this?

I guess I want to know if I would be unreasonable to complain about this nurse? She has been unprofessional in the past when I went to have a vaccine during pregnancy and now this. However - is it true that breastfed babies are more intelligent? This has added to my guilt and anxiety over my breastfeeding journey now. Help!

Ah, some of us are just human and empathise with the rawness felt by people who are vulnerable.

WTF is a social analyst. Do you do anything useful?

Exactly—every child is different, breastfeeding or not

Wow, highly inappropriate from a medical professional!

this could have sent someone overboard who was already struggling.

and if this were true I’m not sure where I got both my formula fed babies, one is an accountant and the other is just starting their masters in engineering.

Not bad for formula fed babies!

One of mine was breastfed till 8 weeks, the other till 8 months. Now 13 and 14 and guess which one is performing better st school? A better eater? No allergies? Yup, the one formula fed from 8 weeks. I'm not wholly convinced it's the liquid gold it's made out to be so midwives/health visitors etc should not be dishing out such comments. Take no notice and do what works for you for as long as it works for you. There's enough pressure as a new parent as it is

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/20/is-breast-really-best-i-looked-at-all-the-data-to-find-out

If you're going to make a complaint every time someone says something dumb about parenting, you're going to be complaining all the time. Welcome to parenthood! Just let these things wash over you and don't take them on board. You know your child and situation best.

Maybe she just reads newspapers?

And yet if you look at a playground full of children it’s not obvious which were breast fed or not. So that’s how much ‘better’ it is. In the developed world this is relatively insignificant data over huge numbers, and yet the guilt and anxiety ‘breast is best’ induces for new mothers is so damaging and toxic. It’s actually a national scandal.

https://www.bbc.com/news/health-31925449

Perhaps she read this? But I agree that it wasn't very tactful.

I think we all know not to believe everything in the newspapers.

You can't tell in a playground full of children which ones mothers smoked during pregnancy either. It doesn't mean there's no effect.

This exactly.
Nurse was tactless and insensitive, very concerning re the impact on a vulnerable person.
I remember having cracked, bleeding nipples whilst bf and was made to feel inadequate and offering second best to my baby by the breast is best brigade when I wanted to change to bottle

You can. Many wouldn’t be there as smoking whilst pregnant causes still birth, miscarriage and SIDs.It also causes birth defects for those that survive.

You can't reasonably complain about a health care professional telling you something that's true, just because you'd rather it wasn't.

You can decide to drop breastfeeding completely, it's not mandatory, but as the nurse told you, all the evidence shows that it is better to breastfeed, so of course she's encouraging you to continue.

In trying to make everyone feel good about their feeding choices, we end up with 'fed is best' being trotted out, as if formula was as good as breastmilk. It isn't, breast is best, we're not supporting babies and mothers by pretending it isn't.

And yes, of course there are formula fed babies who went on to get a first from Oxford, but population level studies show that breastfed babies will, on average, do better than formula fed.

I was formula fed, and my mother smoked througout her pregnancy and my childhood. Would I be smarter and taller if she hadn't? I don't know, but I breast fed my kids, and did not let my mum smoke in their home or in their company.

Wonder how my 6’4” formula fed brother got a PhD then? My mother also smoked through both pregnancies.

One difference, breastfed babies imbibe antibodies which protect them until they can be vaccinated.

Well yes i agree smoking and drinking in pg will have more impact than bf.
In playground ---both me and dsis have asthma. She is also small considering parental height. And we both weighed under 6lb.
Personally think.there maybe links to asd and or adhd too.

Drinking- 5% of kids apparently have fasd. Which is same numbers as adhd and obviously much higher than asd.

We may also see differences in playground of kids born to older parents with higher asd rates. So these kids could be wandering around alone, stimming, not interested in sports etc. Apparently kids of older parents also have more mh issues etc

Does rather suggest nhs focused on wrong area - bf vs the harms of smoking/drinking presumably drugs and wsiting until say 35+ to have dc.

Annecdotal evidence proves nothing. He got a PhD. I have two Masters and I was spoon fed as I was born with a cleft palette and spent some months in hospital away from my mother. My breastfed DS failed two lots of university but runs a large company's online shops and my DD, also breastfed, got a 2.1 in Law and a prize with it. Hands held out...all this is anecdotal.
But the nurse was right 'breast is best' and also (though she did not say it) supplementing with formula causes problems with breastfeeding.

That's all the evidence I need.

I think the NHS focuses on all those issues.

Well, whether it’s causation or correlation doesn’t mean she was wrong, as this link suggests. (According to what you’ve said, OP: you said she said “breastfed babies are more intelligent” not “breastfeeding makes babies more intelligent”.)

Honestly, OP, you’re massively overreacting to something that is actually NHS policy (to encourage breastfeeding) because you’re personally feeling sensitive about it. Try not to let a random comment get to you during a sensitive hormonal stage. Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding is a complex choice weighed up by each family and baby. It doesn’t mean that on the population level breastfeeding isn’t better for babies in general: it is. There’s a big difference between individuals and statistical outcomes overall. Obviously there are many babies who are geniuses despite being formula fed and vice versa and everything in between. But the plural of anecdote is not data. The data suggests that breastfeeding is better on average than formula. You are perfectly okay though to make your own individual choice that works best for you; and formula may well work best for you and your baby.

Actually when I was teaching in primary, many of the children from smoking households had inhalers, and their doctors would be able to tell. Breastfed? The doctor wouldn’t have a scooby.

Hahaha 🤣

No the nurse said something completely incorrect in a hugely inappropriate and misleading way to a struggling mum disregarding her MH struggles. Breast feeding does not change genes or environment which both dictate intelligence.

Op needs to complain.

An advantage of formula is that you know how much milk your baby is getting. My baby was slower to gain weight than other babies in my post natal group and I was worried he would get dehydrated as the weather was so hot.
Also, surely the quality of your breastmilk is only as good as the food you eat. I am terrible at eating 8 portions of fruit and veg and at avoiding processed food, Also, allergies run in my family so I worry about accidentally introducing allergens through my diet. There are so many common allergens that if I were to avoid them all, my diet would be too restrictive to breastfeed effectively I figured that formula cut out all of the unknowns.It seems to me that the positives of breastfeeding are marginal at best, and there are too many potential problems.