Working expectations for parents on UC

[BlackCatGreyWhiskers]

AIBU to find this really frustrating? Basically there is no expectation for parents to work until their child is age 3. So if a family has more than one child that could be several years.

Whereas maternity leave is only 9-12months.

Especially as universal credit claimants can actually get help towards childcare expenses.

I don’t understand why there is a mismatch between the employed and unemployed?

When I went back after maternity, my pay was around £1500 and my childcare £800, then after I went back with my second my childcare went up to £1200. So I earnt next to nothing for 5 years before the eldest started school.

So your ex has a severe lack of personal responsibility and that’s turned you into a claimant.
So I hear you that this situation has been forced on you and so I’m sorry I didn’t differentiate in my previous post.
My point should have been Claimants or Ex-Partner of Claimant who forced them into claiming.

Anyone who has a partner and a high enough family income to not need/qualify for UC should be counting their blessings not seething with envy and wanting to make things harder for those who are not so fortunate. I don't get highly paid, financially comfortable people being jealous of those on benefits. It's not a race to the bottom and if UC is reduced/made harder your salary and conditions won't go up. If I managed to land some of the salaries bragged about on here I'd be over the moon and set up for life, not thinking that that someone else gets a few quid UC and I don't.

If you think it's unfair, you are looking at in the wrong way. The vast majority of long term unemployed mothers are not leading particularly meaningful lives, statistically their DC have poor educational outcomes, they are more likely to become involved in criminal activity, be unemployed themselves etc etc....
It is very frightening for someone who has never had to work to be forced into it. Lack of self esteem, confidence etc only gets worse the longer you are unemployed. It is of no surprise that since the roll out of UC and the new 3 years rule that the incidence of PIP applications has quite dramatically increased. The thought of working is terrifying for some people, that is nothing to be resentful about. Those of us who have worked for £50 a month for several years have invested in ourselves both mentally and financially, and that trickles down to the next generation. So don't see it as being unfair, see it as a leveller for the DC whose parents have very little to offer them.

Usually nannies are seen as the choice of well to do families. 🙄 Most people choose nursery or childminder. Luckily I don't need one as I can see my children more often and look after them whilst you pay if you want me to be an arsehole.

OP, this is MN. The only responses you will get here are from those who think living off other people is a divine right. You will shot down in flames for having the audacity to suggest that supporting yourself rather than living off others is the done thing.

That ls why this country is broken. Everyone want a freebie and those actually paying for those freebies are declining in numbers fast. While the free takers are stood around wringing their hands wondering why there is such a backlash.

Almost like they want those on UC to suffer.

This seems to be regional, I've seen posters on here say they have a nanny and it's what I'd call a childminder.

Yet more see-through agenda ridden benefits bashing.

MN has become worse because of it, it’s constant recently.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds this women bashing and bringing down other women, tedious and off-putting.

Maybe!

Are you saying you are privileged to not need a nanny?

but having a nanny is a privilege? Even when it is fact that in many instances it is cheaper when you have more than one child?

Absolutely. Car parking or public transport could cost more than you actually bring in that day in some places. How many people moralising would voluntarily make themselves worse off, especially if they were so close to the line as it is? That couple of quid spent parking is food money to the poorest.

@TwoFeralKidsEssentially, you lack any evidence to support your ridiculous statement that nannies are more costly, aside from hearsay suggesting they are only for wealthy families. Understood.

None of the local childminders work during the holidays. I contacted them all when my DC first started school. I’ve had to pay a nanny - who’s come to my house.

i agree I generally associate Nanny’s with the “better off” for 2+ children it can be more economical than nursery, although both mine went to nursery. I didn’t chose it because of economy over the summer but because there aren’t any other options available to me.

That is also true… they tend to only work term time.

honestly I know no one, absolutely no one, who chooses a nanny because they want to. They either have twins, two kids close together ect. They actually want their children to go to nursery for the interactions but when nurseries are over £100 a day and often not taking funded hours - happening more and more locally. But sure, it’s a privilege 🫣

I genuinely don't know anyone from all the teachers or NHS staff who use a nanny! Nobody I know uses one. I have only heard of wealthier families using one. Why would that be then?

I don't really care to be fair. Currently struggling to pay the £35 quid a week for childcare because I thought it would be good to put a speech delayed child in to nursery help his progress. Think I have other things to worry about!

I am a single parent and chose to work for all that me and my son required. I wasn't well paid initially but worked additional hours when I could. I wasn't entitled to any benefits. I will spare you the details but I assure you that I know real hardship. I am in support of the benefit system as interim support, not as a life long entitlement. I have significant experience of people' entitlement to benefits and people 'choosing' to be single parents. I emphasise that this doesn't apply to everyone but it definitely exists. Benefits as a lifelong entitlement is wrong and unfair

What a ridiculous comment. Me and DH get paid into the same bank account and all funds are joint. In this equation, one of us going back to work would have earned £77 vs that person staying off. Splitting it wouldn’t have magicked more money into the account. The economic question would have been is it better to be at home raising kids full time or earning £77 a month for 4 years plus career advantages. DH could have paid 100% of the childcare bill and the conundrum is still the same.

@PeonyPatch
I left because DH was having affairs and when I found out became violent towards me. So yes choices were made. And I’m very greatfull there was a safety net so I didn’t have to stay.

To be fair I had paying for one child in childcare in mind when I posted that rather than two. I am trying to say that if I was in that position I wouldn't be able to pay it. They wouldn't be able to go and I wouldn't be able to work (even with the 85%!) . At least you can although I appreciate the financial difficulties it has caused you.

@TwoFeralKids If a family has just one child, it is more economical to place them in a nursery or with a childminder. However, for those with several children, hiring a nanny proves to be more cost effective. Throughout my career, I have worked with various families, none of whom were wealthy.

You may not care, but you still felt the need to make a sweeping statement initially.

Ok, you are making sweeping judgements based on who you know?

i live in the south east where nurseries are out of this world extortionate and due to rural location it can be very difficult to get child where you need them where and a nanny will come to you. I have friends who need to be on 6am train to get to their very average paying office jobs. They are struggling, but they’re not complaining. But they are not privileged.

as OP has said she is using a nanny because she needs someone to cover summer and the childminders do not cover in summer. Not privileged, just necessity.

I worked in a school and needed to use a nanny temporarily as I was asked to change my working days but nursery could not take them on the day I needed for 2 months so a nanny covered them. Not privileged, just necessity.

If it assists with your understanding you can call her a babysitter?

I’d imagine that in the days when it was considered acceptable for single mothers to be paid to stay at home, it was the case that most mothers in relationships were too, because only one wage was required to support a family.

Now, two wages are required, and single mothers on UC don’t have to work to support their children whilst mothers in relationships do. Not very fair, is it?

No it’s not fair at all!

And how much of that is housing related? Who benefits from that?

Always worth questioning the figures.