Signed off sick…… AIBU?

[nodtik]

With work related stress, struggling with severe anxiety, and high blood pressure.

AIBU thinking that I should have welfare checks, been off for three weeks so far, nit heard a thing?

This makes me feel as though as they don’t care and don’t want me back?

Am I right to think they should contact me?

When I was signed off last year I had no contact at all with my employer once I'd sent in my fit note; I wasn't particularly bothered though as I a complete break was what I needed.

I thought I'd read somewhere that they shouldn't contact you if you're signed off, but I must have imagined that.

What was agreed when you gave them your fit note?
I always agree the level of contact with anyone in my team who is off sick.

The last time I had a team member signed off with anxiety, I agreed a once a week check in as more than that was unlikely to help!

I don't think they're wrong to leave you in peace - I know if I were signed off sick, this would be my preference. But if you've agreed for them to contact you weekly for example and they haven't done that, then that's pretty poor and you should probably contact them.

They’re not the police - they don’t do ‘welfare checks’. I think you need to tell them what level of contact you want.

Im so sorry you’re struggling. I didn’t have welfare checks when I was off work because of my MH. TBH I’m glad as it would only have severely exacerbated my anxiety.

YABVU

They are not friends, they don't "make sure youre ok". You gave them a sick note, when the next ones due - thats when they want contact.

When I was managing people, it was the case you couldn't contact people to ask them how they were in case it were interpreted as pressure to return.

When you gave them your sick note, did you agree any level of contact?

If not then I wouldn't expect them to check in, it could be seen as pressure to return, unwanted contact. Many people would be very unhappy being contacted by their workplace if off sick, I would've been VERY pissed off.

No, they're supposed to let you recuperate and not add to your stress. Communicating via the official channels by sending a fit note is the best way.

Some people would see contact as their work 'breathing down their neck'.

When one of my colleagues was off sick for a couple of months my manager was told not to contact because it can be seen as harassment

YABU
if you're off with work related stress then contacting you while on sick leave unless expressly discussed/agreed/welcomed by you could be viewed as harassment by your employer. What do you want from them?

ETA I love my manager and head of service but would not have welcomed contact from them during my one period of work related stress sick leave. I needed to switch off and not think about work. Contact would not have helped that.

They might not be contacting you because they don't want to seem like they're pressuring you to come back. Your mental health isn't actually their responsibility so they don't need to do welfare checks as such while you're signed off.

When I was off sick after having a breakdown I agreed with my boss that we'd have once weekly calls to catch up, but that was purely on my steam rather than theirs, they were happy to just take the sick notes as they came.

Then when I was ready to come back I had a meeting with my manager, then the occy health calls a week before to arrange a phased return, and upon my return to work was when they started taking a more active role in checking in with me - because their job is not to manage your mental health directly but to ensure that they are doing what they can to make appropriate adjustments for you so you can do your job. While you're off work they have no responsibility to do this, if that makes sense?

If you want to arrange weekly or fortnightly check ins with your management, just contact them to do so.

YABU. If I was signed off work with stress I'd expect them to leave me alone to recuperate in any way I saw fit. They're not your mum, they shouldn't be checking up on you. It comes across like you want attention TBH. Are you very lonely? Do you not have any friends or family around you to support?

In my workplace we would set contact expectations at the time of receiving the sick note. I.e let's speak one or two days before this note is due to run out so see how you are.

People have complained that work is contacting them when they’re off sick, it’s pressure on them blah blah.

Employers can’t win.

How do you think contact would help?

I've been having vnear weekly calls and I hate them and want to be left alone but apparently they have a duty of care (funnily the duty of care didn't extend to preventing my burn out)

I am currently off with the same. My manager has contacted me several times and every time it has triggered hyperventilating and migraines. Be careful what you wish for!!

Eye-opening thread. When I was off sick after a serious op, M&S were contacting me every other day, asking me when I'd be returning to work! My GP and other medical professionals told me I shouldn't return until after ~3 months, well M&S were contacting me the day after my op. It felt like harassment, tbh.

Employers can’t win can they? Damned if they do, damned if they don’t. They’re probably very busy covering your work as you’re off.

I find it very frustrating/ sad how many people think colleagues are responsible for their emotional well-being.

That aside, no, contacting you can be considered harassment so they wouldn't

We've had a staff member off sick with anxiety recently. We didn't agree a schedule of contact and I took the view that if they're unwell enough to be signed off work, me contacting them to check in could make matters worse.

In our case he wasn't signed off with work related stress, but if he had been, I'd definitely not have wanted to contact him for fear of making it worse.

I am sorry you're struggling, but please don't assume they don't care about you - they could just be giving you space. If you want contact with them, to keep them up to date, you should instigate it.

If they then still don't bother, that's another matter, but for now they've not done anything wrong.

Im currently off with burnout/stress (not specified as work related), my manager and i agreed i would have a face to face welfare meeting once a month, they did offer this to be at work or my home or they would be happy with a phone call every other week. They agreed to let me be the one to contact them to arrange meeting through a channel i preferred, i chose via my union rep and theres been no isses.

A lot of comments on this thread are incorrect. Yes, if you are off work on sick leave your employers should be in touch with you, and organisations should cover this in their sickness absence management process. Your employer should not harass you and best practice would be to agree who will contact you ( normally line manager, but not always) and the frequency of contact . They should not contact you about work related matters but should be touch with you to see if you need any support and to check on your well being.

Employees need to realise that their line managers largely don't care if they spontaneously combust just as long as it doesn't require extra paperwork.

Wellbeing indeed. Ohhh babbbe you okaaay?

I disagree with a lot of people on here. A caring employer should take an interest in all employees, including those off sick especially where work may have been the cause of it. Absence policies usually make it clear around contact, and it should usually be agreed at the start of the sickness. When my staff member went off sick with anxiety and stress (home and work related) we agreed when we would speak and what would be the content of the discussion (ie for the first few weeks was just a check in how are you etc, then work stuff after that). Once someone goes off sick with no contact it can be very difficult to get them back in. Those checkins are really helpful to both staff member and employer. thinking about coming back to work after a period of ill health is very daunting and having no contact makes it worse. There will be occasions when no check in is appropriate, but that would usually be advised by a GP. The only thing I would say is that it is likely to be very busy when someone is off sick and the manager just may not have thought of it, or too nervous to contact you. Managers are people too and make mistakes/dont have all the answers.