Signed off sick…… AIBU?

[nodtik]

With work related stress, struggling with severe anxiety, and high blood pressure.

AIBU thinking that I should have welfare checks, been off for three weeks so far, nit heard a thing?

This makes me feel as though as they don’t care and don’t want me back?

Am I right to think they should contact me?

@Fragmentedbrainyou may well be right that many line managers simply don’t care. But, an employee is contracted to be at work and your employer would be pretty stupid to allow long term sick to continue without some idea of potential return to work and any adjustments that might be required to get the employee back to work. Keeping in touch is part of the process to potentially manage employee out of the business. Well being checkins are simply part of this, sorry if you don’t understand that.

The question the OP asked was whether her employer should be in touch with her and the answer, for several reasons, is yes.

You work can’t do wrong from right here. If they contacted you they’d be seen as hassling and interrogating you.

If they leave you to it they’re seen as uncaring.

Focus on getting yourself better and once you’re ready to go back I’m sure they’ll be supportive. If they’re not you take it up with HR.

But the op is asking because they're peeved the employer isn't worried about her. And sorry but they ain't.

With my employer, HR would reach out close to the end of your time off to ensure that you're still planning to come back as scheduled, but it wouldn't be a welfare check per se. Our union contact prevents the employer from contacting you while you're out sick.

It is interesting OP because I am expertly the same experience.

I sent my first fit note for depression and had no reply, not even to acknowledge it had been received.

I then sent another sick note for one more month again no acknowledgement.

I am a manager and I personally would always at least reply to the person who send me the note so they know it was received and to wish them a good recovery.

I think it is lazy management not to at least make some minimum contact with employees who are sick long term.

There just isn’t pleasing anyone is there.

You are off with work related stress, so work probably wants to leave you alone so they don’t give you a reason to extend your sick note.

You should have a return to work meeting when you come back which would be your ‘welfare check’.

Lots of people feel very differently and actually contact with work can make them feel more anxious. I’ve been hassled when off sick and it was horrible.

My current boss left me to it when I was off for a month (not stress) unless I called in. Not because they didn’t care but because they didn’t want to put me under pressure and be thinking about work.

If you want a check in, could you email/call and ask.

Replying to the note is one thing - and there's nothing to suggest they didn't when the OP handed it over but any contact, even minimum, when the person is off sick esp with work related sickness, is generally unwanted. You think its lazy not to, Most people think its pushy and unwelcome

My employer does checks through HR after 4 weeks of absence. It depends what your employer's policy is. Some people prefer to be left alone.

As an employer, it really depends on the circumstance. If someone is signed off for 3 months with anxiety etc, I'd likely not keep in touch until nearer the end of their sick leave - unless I'd agreed something different with them.

It isn't my responsibility to do a welfare check or even to make sure they are OK. I need to ensure that they feel supported to return to work when ready. I'm not their parent, partner or social worker.

And, as a previous poster said, often we are busy and stressed ourselves covering for the sick person and trying to manage our own mental and physical health.

We absolutely do welfare checks, following a protocol carefully.
We also offer independent mental health support.

This:
It isn't my responsibility to do a welfare check or even to make sure they are OK. I need to ensure that they feel supported to return to work when ready. I'm not their parent, partner or social worker.

Managers are often expected to hand hold employees through their lives and go beyond their responsibility to ensure that the workplace is doing what they can to support. There is a level of empathy and understanding that managers should have, but I’ve sat in far too many meetings where I’ve been expected to troubleshoot someone’s symptoms, tell them who to call / research numbers to call for support, listen to very heavy information. And whilst I have a lot of empathy and will always listen and try to support, employees need to take control and responsibility for their situations. There is an expectation that managers have to be a support system that extends beyond the workplace.

As a manager when a person was off sick I would only ever reply to their further fit notes with good wishes, send flowers once, and otherwise leave well alone.

And while I cared for their well-being at work in a general sense, I never worried or felt responsible for their well-being outside of that. My care results from my duties and was nothing personal. It's nothing like for friends. Nor should it be, I don't want my employer to try and be my friend either.

That is really bad. I just looked back at my first email in response to our staff member going off sick.

I wasn't sure if he was going to read his work emails, so sent it to his home email too, but added "I hope you don't mind me sending this to your home email too. I wanted to make sure you got it, but didn't want you to feel pressurised into logging into your work email. I'll not send any emails to your personal account again, without your permission to do so."

I then praised him for being honest and open with how he was feeling and provided him with a telephone number and reference code to access our Employee Assistance Program. I then said "if you want to speak with me, call me on my mobile and anything you say will be treated in the strictest of confidence".

I then checked in with him around the time his fit note was due to expire.

As he improved we were then able to have telephone calls and talk about a phased return to work.

The last thing I would ever want to do is make someone feel worse, but I'd hate it if they thought I didn't care either!

@BumpyWinds

I agree with what you posted.

As a manager I would never completely ignore a staff member on long term sick leave or fail to acknowledge their sick note. It is just really poor and even contempt for the staff member.

My employer got in touch once a week and from about lunchtime the day before I had a pit of dread in my stomach.

That's how I would have felt.

No. There are frequent threads here complaining that their managers contacted them while on sick leave. If you haven't agreed a contract plan with them, you shouldn't expect any. They are not mind readers. They dont know that you actually want contact.

There are loads of threads each arguing opposing sides, basically an employer is damned if they do and damned if they don’t!

So many PP have complained that being contacted has been detrimental to their recovery whilst others like yourself feel forgotten. Unless you asked for or agreed to regular check ins you just have to accept that they are giving you the time you need to feel better

When I was signed off work for a couple of months with work related stress the last thing I wanted was for them to speak to me. I found out later that they were advised not to call me, because of the reason I'd been signed off. There was sporadic email contact which did nothing to make me feel better. I resigned in the end; best thing I ever did. I didn't want to go back and I'm quite sure they didn't want me back.

Edited to add: I've no regrets and I'm in a really good place now.

I do wonder what will happen when the current gen of students (who have been primed to expect an insane degree of "duty of care" from their universities) hit the workplace.

I think they're in for a shock.

It's already happening. I hire graduates and staff in their mid 20s and they generally seem to think I am responsible for their happiness and wellbeing, beyond creating a safe and fair work environment.

They "struggle" to come into the office 2 or 3 days a week, despite not having caring responsibilities. Their relationship problems become an excuse for shirking their responsibilities and I or my senior team are expected to be agony aunts.

There must be workplace policy for sickness absence. Likely you will be referred to Occupational Health

They are too busy trying to cover your job maybe??

What, they could contact you by law or just best practice?