To not go to afternoon tea

[Scramblingeggs]

So not to drip feed, i have missed a few in-laws occasions (not all, I make the effort where I can) due to ill health, caring for my elderly parent and then bereavement. (I don't make the odd Christmas dinner or bday meal) I think it bugs them but I can't really help that.

MIL has big bday next week. Husband and I have offered to take her out for a meal next weekend. I found out a few days ago that an afternoon tea has been organised for her bday for today. This had been organised by the wider family group.

I have a really difficult week around the reasons at the beginning and I could do with a reset day, plus the expense of a 2nd meal out is challenging. Now I've heard this will have champagne and balloons etc involved and it seems like quite a big deal. AIBU to not go?

If you've been invited you should try to go. It won't ge all day so plenty of time to rest too.

It has already happened and she didn't go but...

Why should she try to go? She is struggling with recent bereavement and also has health issues. If she doesn't feel up to going she shouldn't go! Why should she put someone else (who only invited her at the last minute because she forgot before that) above herself in this situation? Genuine question.

Nevermind. I need to read updates.

Because it was a special occasion. Because it was part of her family through marriage.