I took my friend out for her birthday recently, a whole day and I paid for most of it, including an expensive beauty treatment, which she asked for a few extras while having the treatment and I didn’t really mind but it did cost extra. I also got her a nice gift too.
The day was lovely I thought and she seemed to really enjoy it. I put quite a bit of effort into organising it because I wanted to do something nice for her. Although during the last part of the day she started to moan at me a bit, nothing related to the day just pointing out things that I have done ‘wrong’ in the past like forgot to leave certain things out when I once let her stay at my house while I was away for example. I left the day a bit upset because of this but tried to put it out of my mind.
I took a few photos during the day, mostly of where we went and the surroundings and one of her blowing out a birthday candle at lunch. I haven’t posted the photos or anything or shown them to anyone, just thought she might like the memory. I sent them over to her and she replied oh I didn’t know you had taken a photo of me please delete it. I said ok no worries I’ll delete it and I assured her that no one else has seen the photo. Then a while later she sent me another message saying always ask for permission before taking a photo. I feel a bit mortified. We’ve been friends for a long time and I didn’t know she had such an aversion to photos, I wouldn’t even mind her saying that to me on a regular occasion but when I’ve just done this for her, I honestly am shocked and felt the wording was really patronising. Should I have asked her permission? None of my friends have ever asked permission from me to take a photo of me and they often post it on social media without saying anything, I wouldn’t ever do that, I only took it because I thought it was a lovely picture and a nice memory. I also was very obvious getting my phone out and taking the photo, it’s not like I did it sneakily either.