Making New Friends

[Aquarius1234]

How hard is it to make new friends?

Any tips as it seems impossible.

What have you tried?

Do you have kids? Work? Any health conditions? What have you tried so far?

Eh? What is even the point of responding to such a low effort post. I imagine someone who is funny, good looking and charismatic will have no problem making friends. Others might find it harder. What kind of response were you expecting

Editing as possibly a bit harsh - OP join some stuff, choir, darts, rugby club, parent council, whatever matches your interests.

From 40 upwards I’ve mainly made new friends through volunteering with a local charity & getting involved in things that matter to me, like feminist activism.

No kids. Work very average job small company, but no plans to leave for money reasons.
Health condition yes but causes more anxiety. Certain activities would be a no.
But not an issue for doing more inside entertainment.

On the train was going through a tunnel couldn't type much.

It's better to be good looking to make more friends..?
That's more dating right.

Do you have any interests or hobbies?

Did a adult education short course last year. Was ok but no proper friends made. Perhaps if it had continued longer. We did swap numbers at the end. Small talk group that eventually could tell would die off.
But it wasn't really the point of the course.

Ive signed up to meet up things. Have gone occasionally but most are far away.

Very rarely do I get too friendly with anyone at work but never say never.
I wouldn't want things to get awkward or anything get intense outside work.

Cinema and Theatre. Which i go solo sometimes.
I did years ago make two male friends at least for this type of thing but dont see either of them.
Grew apart maybe and also I probably tried too hard arranging things and the other person probably got into a relationship.

Start doing some things you think you might enjoy, where there are other people.

Can be anything - sports, volunteering, hobbies like choirs, play 'social sport' like walking football or some badminton clubs, campaigning, rambling group, craft group, book club. There are SO many thousands of different ways to volunteer and probably as many 'interest' groups.

Amateur dramatics? Helping backstage or front of house? Our theatre is always after front of house volunteers. Book group?

I find it hard, I have 2 friends that are not friends with each other, 2 busy working mums. I dont work so I don't have a social life and have become more withdrawn as time has gone on. I find talking to people incredibly challenging

Right yeh. It's hard to be casual and friendly but not come across too desperate. As I think when people are slightly lonely and wanting to talk it could look abit weird or annoying to the other person.
It's about finding the balance.
I'm sure people that have more proper friends go out and about in a more confident way. No anxiety or stress.
I might be over thinking but if they go to said place alone they probably have a more calm relaxed / happy expression compared to those that have hardly any friends, ?
No one wants to feel like a rabbit in headlights. Or i dunno that lost type feeling. Even its its brief.

Do you have any cold water dipping/swimming groups local? You don’t have to be a swimmer, lots of people sign up for mental health support and the groups tend to be really sociable and supportive.

Which is why many of us are suggesting going along to something where you are doing something, and the focus is on that, as it takes the pressure off meeting someone like a blind date.

I wanted to meet new friends for years and found it impossible! I tried various activities and groups. Recently I joined a member’s swimming pool with sauna and hot tub and people are very sociable there, I’ve already made three new friends and suspect I might make more. I tried another gym before this one but nobody chatted in the hot tub. I also joined a book club through an old friend who I love but is very unavailable and as I start to get to know the group I can tell some of them will become good friends.

I’m so happy it’s starting to come together as I was trying different groups and activities for 5-6 years and not getting anywhere!

Good luck OP, keep trying new things, eventually you’ll find your tribe.

I made my closest new friend when I stopped my car in the street next to her and told her that her hair was gorgeous and asked for her hairdresser. Turned out she didn't have one - but it got us chatting!

I try to be super open about the fact that I'm trying to make new friends (recently moved to a new area) and I've found people to totally get it and be very open to hanging out.

More people are lonely / looking for friends than you think - it just takes one of you to be willing to be a little vulnerable.

Yeh not keen on swimming but nice idea.

As a fellow thesp, this is a great idea if it appeals to you, OP!

Tried that for backstage. I'm not technical but front of house would be a no.
I only went once or twice and wasn't keen. It seemed a bit too cheesy. I enjoy theatre but I'm not someone that plays musical music and sings along.
Everyone was older but now I'm older.. late 30s.
Maybe I'll enquire again lol

I did really want to do that in my 20s. But I had no idea what role would suit me. Things aren't always as they seem.
Backstage etc

Experiential courses that run for a while and where you do practical things with your peers is my number one tip - counselling, acting, languages.

Okay thanks. It's definitely not as easy as just joining various things.
I signed up to beginner Italian classes a few months ago. But it was cancelled due to not enough people.
Maybe it's just luck yes a course/ hobby that interests you, but its also depends who's there. Not like you can keep joining the same beginner course to see what new people join..

Yeh its annoying when people think we aren't trying. But it does get slightly disheartening then it's fine to have breaks for a while.
What things did you try where you didn't quite make a friend outside the hobby?
I think sometimes you think no one is bothered then find out after months people have got more friendly.

I think it's harder as we get older! Look on your local Facebook groups, in our town there's a ladies social group that meet for coffee once a week and organise trips and nights out. There's also a walking group, historical society, craft group that meet at the library, Welsh language group who meet at a local pub. Is there a book club in your area that you could join?

Volunteering is a great way to meet people - have a look on the notice board at your local library for ideas.

If all else fails, you could start your own ladies club - post on your local Facebook groups and ask if anyone wants to meet up for coffee or a walk - I bet there's other women in your area who are looking to make friends too!

Tennis .. honestly it’s incredibly social. I said it to a friend who had no other friends .. not remotely sporty and she started and she’s made tons of friends through it .. it’s almost impossible not to. Give it a try .. she can barely play but she met loads of people who are the same and now loves it