Is this acceptable?

[Burtrix7]

A quick query to settle an argument. Is it ok to say your 9 year old child is acting like a knob when he is in earshot?

Thanks in advance.

IAM not sure of the voting criteria, but it's not OK.

Yes, if they are!

It's not something I'd say about any age child in their earshot but I don't know how you're going to settle an arguement by knowing that

Sometimes they are knobs.

No I don't think so, if they can hear you.

I wouldn't use that exact phrasing, but yes, if they are being a pain, or silly to an unacceptable level, they need telling.

Were they being a knob?

Definitely not.

For me no. I fine to think that and say it when they’re not around. It’s fine to tell them directly that you’re unhappy with their behaviour. But it isn’t acceptable to talk about them negatively in ear shot.

I mean probably not while they're in earshot lmao but I don't think it'll scar them for life.

No , probably not , however going into another room and giving them the v and calling them a knob quietly is perfectly acceptable, because 9 year old boys don’t actually know everything even if they think they do and it’s very frustrating. Then go back and parent in the way the other perfect parents do .

I call my pet bunnies knobs to their faces when they misbehave & they’re only 3! I’ve got a feeling that this a completely different kettle of fish though…

Not a word I’d use about anyone. But I have told my kids at that sort of age that they’re behaving like idiots to their face, forget in earshot. Depends what kid is supposed to have done as well - are they actually being an idiot (thinking of the time my kids fought over who got the blue cushion on the sofa vs the otherwise identical teal one and in the process broke the TV) or are they being age appropriate albeit difficult for the adult.

Not acceptable

The voting isn't clear but I would say it depends. Some families would say that sort of thing in a jokey way and the child would recognise it as such. If said in anger then that's not ok.

If DH and I hadn’t been able to have a good - private - bitch about the kids on occasion, we’d have lost our minds. But it’s not really on to call them names, especially within earshot. I actually think it’s worse than saying it to their faces. I don’t care what age you are, no one wants to hear themselves being denigrated to someone else, it’s humiliating

Absolutely fine.

Saying they're acting like a knob, yes, saying they are a knob, no. Different context imo.

Yep I don’t see anything wrong with that tbh. Sometimes they do behave like knobs and need calling out 🤷🏼‍♀️, as we all do from time to time.

I think it's ok to say, "don't act like a knob". Its not so nice to say someone is a knob to their face, and be telling someone else you think they are a knob in a way they can be heard could be quite upsetting. It's humiliating.

I'm not in anyway offended by the word knob, if you substitute it for stupid, or bad, or idiot, or silly, it could still be offensive depending on the way it's delivered. Humiliation is actually one of the worst of all the negative human emotions, it sticks with us.

I wouldn't use that word when my child was in earshot, no.

I would be saying it in my head. My mouth would be saying something more gentle.

It's not the end of the world if it was said and he happened to overhear. But I'd never say something deliberately to them and would try not to use language like that while they are around.

I'd be okay with it. If they heard I'd explain why. Our family motto is don't be a dick .....and our kids are respectful, intelligent, articulate human beings,

Talking about someone where they can hear in order to influence their behavior is absolute shit no matter what age they are.
it’s passive aggressive. Just talk TO your kid ffs