Aibu To give our entire Holiday spending budget to DS ?

[frozenshoulderhell]

Or do I risk living on bread and cheese by day three? Me and DS aged 15 are off on a self catering holiday to a popular Mediterranean country and My reasoning is that it would be a good 'life lesson' in budgeting. He'd have to budget for trips,drinks,supermarket for breakfast /lunch /snacks and evening restaurant meals -I've worked out that we can afford roughly 3 or 4 day trips and to eat out every evening although it will have to be a combination of 'nice' restaurants and more basic options...
I personally think that it would be good for him to learn that if we have 15 drinks from around the pool and three ice creams a day then there will be less money to spend on something else but
if we buy a pack of ice creams from the supermarket and nip back to the apartment for some drinks at 1/4 of the price then we will be able to eat at a nice sea food restaurant (for example) that night!
My friend is horrified and thinks it too much responsibility but as he usually spends his monthly pocket money on day one I think it would be a good way to each him good money management skills ? I do consider myself to have pretty good budgeting skills where as my ex is completely rubbish and I'd hate for him to end up like that .

Why not run this experiment at home on a normal day of the week. I think running it on holiday with a finite amount of money is likely to go wrong and lead to resentment on both sides.

If he already can’t budget with his spending money at age 15 then this experiment will fail. You have to actively teach your budgeting skills - you include him in your planning, discuss the choices you are making to model how it’s done.

You should absolutely teach him budgeting skills and there's nothing wrong with giving him the freedom to mess up and deal with the consequences...I personally wouldn't do that on holiday, especially when it's going to impact you so much. You could keep control of the main budget and give him spending money for pool drinks and other extras. If he spends that straight away, no harm but I don't understand why you would get him to budget trips/restaurants for you both if he's not good at it.

I'd do it for a week at home instead. It's more realistic and less likely to ruin your holiday. A week at home eating beans on toast because he's blown everything on a takeaway is less of a problem than reaching day 3 of your holiday with no money.

You could give him a portion to manage himself - for his ice-creams and dinners etc. I just wouldn't give him all of it.

@UkholidaysaregreatGood idea in theory but its more the budgeting to treats/extras that I want him to learn.Normal household expenses tend to average monthly so I thought this would be a way to learn with a set budget and a set time frame .

This is setting him up to fail. You already know he’s crap at budgeting his pocket money. Instead of stuffing up his and your holiday, actually try to teach him how to budget with his monthly allowance.

You can do a trial run but I still wouldn't risk this on your holiday.

Why has he not already learned about budgeting with his monthly pocket money? Does he get it topped up in between? Or does he go without things once he's spent it all and doesn't care? That's where I'd start, by being really strict about what his pocket money has to cover, and not buying him anything else in between times. I wouldn't risk teaching this lesson on holiday - with the possible exception of setting him a daily amount he can spend on ice cream/drinks etc

I'd give much stricter conditions. Let him budget for his confectionery and drinks and you sort meals?

Talk him through your thinking every day. Eg total budget is 200, that's 40 per day for 5 days. So today we'll do X, tomorrow Y as trips so need tk take that money out.... Etc.

You could give him an amount to cover a couple of day trips, or some treats and get him to work out how far he can make it go. Your entire spending money is too much pressure for him, he’s away from home, doesn’t know how much things cost and not used to planning.

Give him 2 days budget for food & drinks but not day trip money.
He is unlikely to go too far wrong with that. Then go from there.
It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

I’m with everyone else, do this at home. You might get a nice meal out at the end of the week. You probably won’t. I’ve done this with DD19 who claimed that she thought when I said a week I meant 3 days 🤦‍♀️. Doing it on holiday is a recipe for a rotten holiday unless you’re a lot more tolerant about missing meals than I am.

@EverydayimhufflingThe idea of giving him a portion to budget for dinners sounds like a good idea ...I personally dont think he'd do anything stupid and I'd obviously reign it in if things were getting out of hand -its more the fact I'd like him to forward plan and think about what he spends stuff on rather than absent minded spending 🤔

You're setting him up to fail. It's far too much pressure for a 15yo.

Let the kid enjoy his holiday and do the budget training another time.

I don't really understand why it has to be this specific week.

It feels like you don't want him to relax?

God, it’s a holiday. Let him relax and enjoy it and save the life lessons for home.
If he particularly wants to do it, fine.

YABU. The holiday is for all of you, not a train8ng life lesson for your child

do that at home

I would hang onto the main food budget myself to avoid the bread and cheese scenario and sit down with him to work out what the alternatives are for the treat budget, eg ice creams from supermarket vs ice creams at the pool and what you can do with the extra money if you take the supermarket option. Then let him decide what the best options are.

This sounds like a terrible idea and potentially a stressful experience for both of you. Sorry.

How about giving him a daily budget for food) smaller treats and a get him to suggest a plan for the trips over the holiday within a budget but keep hold of that money. That way he learns but you aren't starving by day 3 and you can have discussions about the trips so he learns about negotiating and compromising as well.

Why dont you do it with him ie. Budget together... guide him and let him chose

we have £700 for the week (£100 per day) as the restaurant you picked for dinner on monday was expensive we spent £130... so today or tomorrow our Budget is £70... on Friday the boat tour is £20 so we need to find a cheaper restaurant that day too.

We started something a bit like this with ours when they were much younger (around 8/9). In advance of leaving home we had a chat about the number of ice creams, drinks, treats, rides at the fair etc we all agreed was reasonable for each day of the holiday. We (parents) then allocated a sum of cash for each child for the whole trip, to cover all agreed stuff above. Each child had a little purse with their cash (although I ended up with them in my beach bag). The agreement was that they could spend their cash as and when they wanted to, but when it ran out, that was that. If they reached the end of the holiday with cash left over, they could keep it.
it was a highly popular move, and more than once there was money taken home. I know that if I had been dishing out treats the whole time, I would have spent more in total. Moral of the story - kids are more careful spending their own money!!

Split your money into the number of days you are away. So 200 x 10 days, total of 2000.

And then each day include him in decisions so he can see where the money goes and how to save.

Why would you add an extra layer of stress and tension to your holiday? Helping a teenager learn to budget is an excellent idea, but I wouldn't do it on holiday. That should be a time of relaxation and enjoyment, not constant worry that he'll get it wrong or that the funds for certain activities won't be available if he overspends. By all means include him in discussions about making choices and how that affects your plans. But don't turn the holiday into an experience that he is unlikely to enjoy and that could lead to resentment and avoidable stress.

I saw a family doing this in Cornwall at Easter, the three children were responsible for the spendies for the week and were beyond delighted that on their last day they had enough for ice cream as well as cake. They were in front of me in the queue so I’m not exactly sure of the rules of engagement, but it seemed like they’d been given the family’s budget for the week and decided where to visit, what to eat, etc.

(if that was you, hats off to you!)