To simply not post anymore photos

[Leahcarlos]

In a family WhatsApp group with DH family, parents, siblings, aunts etc. Over the past few months I’ve noticed his mum especially will heart, comment etc on the photos of her other grandchild but very rarely ours. She’ll also directly ask her other daughter in law how her child got on or for pictures. This doesn’t happen with ours. It’s starting to bother me and looks very noticeable. My instant reaction was to leave the group but I think if she’s trying to be petty this will give her what she wants. I’m thinking of muting and archiving the group chat and simply not posting anymore achievements or photos. My husband wont as he’s rarely active, neither is his brother to add if we think it’s because it’s from me and not him.

It seems the less dramatic way, there’s no point in discussing it as she won’t see it and will accuse me and DH of being silly etc. So would it be unreasonable to just stop, unless of course she directly asks?

So you’re pissed with one person on this group

what about all the other family members?

Mute and archive the group. Next time you need a family chat, set up a different one with just the brothers.

Keep sending them directly to FIL, he sounds nice.

This is making you sound like the nutter.

I’ve never succeeded in passing a driving test and I’ve never cooked my child Christmas dinner because DH is the cook of the family.

I don’t think these are actually personality traits.

Her and SIL are much more alike, neither drive, very similar view to motherhood, neither have cooked their children Christmas dinners.

OP I imagine that quite a few threads have been started about you on the basis of this little insight in to you

You are not being unreasonable, it’s hurtful. And so inconsiderate. I’ve had similar things with my MIL, giving more money to other grandchildren, buying clothes for them, cards on their first day of school. I stopped sending her any pics, giving her any info. When she asked for a school photo as my mum had one, I said, oh I didn’t think you would want one as you never acknowledged first day of school. We ended up having it out with her and she said none of it had been intentional- made it worse in a way - it’s like she had not realised she favoured one set of grandchildren over the others. Very selfish behaviour. Our kids are everything to us, so I get why it’s hurtful and annoying. I’ve never told my kids this info so they still have a good relationship with MIL as I’d never want to make it toxic as she’s not evil, just unthoughtful.

I did exactly this. Same situation, my BIL and his wife constantly put up pictures of their children on the group and every one was met with a heart and a cute comment, our children weren’t. I tested my theory and got my husband to post photos, still nothing. So months ago I muted and archived the group (again, didn’t want drama by ‘leaving’) and now neither of us post anything. It’s been very freeing!!!

She's showing you who she is OP. Sod her.

Mute and archive, don't give it another thought.

Out of interest, are the grandchildren she’s giving so many hearts her daughter’s children? Unfortunately I think it is common. If it bothers you then yes, would stop posting. Not worth it. Not sure why it bothers you so much though unless the children themselves are actually being treated differently as this isn’t really about them but about you?

We have a similar issue. I just don’t engage. I’m not getting into a ‘pick me’ scenario.

I used to be ambivalent, now I rarely think about them. My life is so much happier now.

I have exactly the same with my MIL. It does my head in so I try to engage as little as possible. It used to really upset me when my kids were younger.

Good for you op muting them I hate when gp has a favourite then makes it very obvious it hurts. There is no need for it. she’s not being silly she’s being a bitch. I hope you stick to your guns and when asked you could say oh it’s boring or it feels one sided with me posting stuff no one else is interested in. I don’t want to be that parent who baby bores everyone and laugh.

I have muted our family whatsapp group with siblings and DH. The rubbish they talk is like listening to oldies in an old peoples home. Words for the sake of it. I have neither the time or the inclination / interest in getting involved in their bollox. Just do it, no one will know.