AIBU to send my child to a better (yet further away) school when there is a perfectly good village primary.

[LaundrySmaundry]

Hello all,

We’re currently in the process of buying a house in another area and need to choose a primary school for our 7 year old son.

the village primary is very nice, has 30 kids in the class, with two TAs. There are some kids with challenging behaviours and some of the extra support is due to this. My own son has ADHD and autism, he doesn’t require much extra support but does find disruptions difficult.

There is another primary about 15 minutes drive that is absolutely lovely, they have 12 in the class as it’s a low birth year for the area, a teacher and a ta and they’re really supportive and nurturing. They are expected to receive an outstanding at their next ofsted inspection.

Would it be better in your opinion to send him to the local school so he can walk to school and have more independence when he’s older, have local friends and go to the same secondary schools, or schools I choose the smaller more nurturing school?

many thanks.

AIBU - village school

YANBU- smaller but further away school.

How do you know that the new school will stay at just 12 in a class? They could merge classes in future years or close down altogether if they are that small.

I’m not sure but I doubt they’ll merge as the other classes average about 28, some are full.

The closer school because I think walking to and from school is important and for the other reasons that you stated.

Will the smaller classes stay smaller classes or do they have capacity to increase them? e.g. if more people moved to the area could the classes get to the same size.

How will the 15 min drive a day effect you? Because its not just about you DS but how the commuting time will impact you as well.
Also what is parking like at the further away school? One near us you have to arrive 45 mins before the school run otherwise you cant park. Its a nightmare.

I'm very pro going to a school you can walk to. Maybe because I didn't have that and hating the driving to school and eventually getting a school bus. We chose that over an outstanding village primary school which was a 5 min drive max away. It will give me DS more independence when he is older to walk to and from school. All his friends are local (most live walking distance from our house)

Local school= low driving costs & local friends/sleepovers/birthday parties. Possible shared lifts from local people. Loads of advantages.

Many smaller schools are being closed down due to falling birth rates.

I’d go for the one he can walk to. Getting more used to disruptions in primary may be helpful for when he goes on to secondary school (although I don’t know anything about his condition so I appreciate it also may not!)

That’s a very tricky one. I’d tend to say prioritise location and friendships going forward but having SEN makes it more complicated if you think he may not cope well in the local school.
However I would echo the pp that you should take into account that the other school is very unlikely to stay with small class sizes due to funding issues and you will probably get cross year classes. That may work for your son though if it means less change?

I’ll add that we will also be sending him to a local beavers troop so hopefully he can make local friends there.

Can you try the local one and if it doesn't work move to the other as it seems that there would be space?

What about local friendships particularly with ASD. We have always felt that having our son “known” in the local community would ultimately be of long term benefit to him. I’ve see. It with other kids with SN as they grow up a community who has known them all their lives as been one of their own nurtures better than a community where he is hardly known because the largely operate outside of the community,

You village school will be so much better for your son, who will eventually be able to knock for his friends and go to the park. Don't underestimate how much easier it is to be a few minutes walk from the school. Why would you add an hour of driving to your day when you have a choice?

I don’t think this makes up for local school friends personally, it’s great but it’s just not the same

Interesting responses. I’d go for the further away one personally but would be aware the class sizes could increase.

Is there a particular school that you strongly feel your DS would do better in? In which case, that one.

If he'd probably be just as well off in either in the grand scheme of things, I'd pick the closer one. But I personally cannot be arsed with driving my children to school. A decent school, in catchment & within walking distance was my no1 priority when buying our house 😂

We had a very similar choice of schools and I chose the bigger, closer school and it has definitely been the right decision. I really underestimated the convenience of a less than 10 minute walk compared to a 20 minute drive. We have outgrown our house and have the funds to move somewhere bigger but actually I won't do it at the risk of losing the short walk to school. DS is also ASD and is very quiet so I thought the smaller school would suit him better but actually, he'll soon go to a secondary school with over 1000 pupils and I think the transition from a small school with less than 100 pupils to something that big would be really hard for him, so I'm also glad I chose the bigger school on that basis too.

I’d go for the local school. Other than the fact it’s nurturing the further away one doesn’t have a lot going for it. A class of 12 with a teacher and a TA isn’t going to be financially viable. I’d be concerned there that the TA could go, you may end up with mixed age classes or worse case if falling birth rates mean they also low numbers in the younger years merger or closure. Or equally it could go the other way and the class fills up over the next few years and it could very easily include challenging kids. I’d consider the future of it really uncertain. Also only 12 kids risks friendship problems as it’s just such a small pool. The fact that it’s further away makes it even less appealing.

4 15 minute drives is an hour a day for you.
Factor in road closures or road works.

Over the years mine had schools they could walk to, use school bus and be driven. The driving one was by far the most stressful as we couldn't control it. Only 2 miles each way, and my record for longest time was leaving at 8.15, and getting home at 10.30. Had to leave 30mins before school finish time as never knew whether it would take 7 minutes or 25. The extra stress did effect DDs.

Is the far away school in the same Secondary school catchment?

Don’t underestimate the importance of local friends. Mine went to school out of area and have definitely missed out socially.

The class size of 12 will only be for the reception year, and nearly every class has at least one, but usually more, disruptive pupil

Local.

1. No such thing as outstanding anymore (literally, ofsted don't do this anymore).

1. Schools get money per pupil. Twelve is VERY low. I imagine they are really struggling as a school.

1. Much harder social dynamics in a class that small.

1. Schools change in a flash. A starting point of 2 TAs is a good sign. That small school could easily lose all their support staff through redundancies.

Edit : no idea why my post got changed to all 1s haha!

It’s the class OP’s DS would go into that has 12 and she’s said he’s 7 so it won’t be reception- probably Y3 or maybe Y4 if he’s turning 8 between now and Sept.

But yes you’re right about there being at least 1 in every year!

We had this dilemma and very nearly moved our DS from our local village school to another bill school because we were very unhappy with the teacher at the time. Our DS also had SEN (and an EHCP).
in the end we stayed and very glad.
other teachers were great. Disruption from children in class waxes and wanes as they get older.

By far the biggest bonuses were that staying created a community which he was thoroughly part of, lots of friendships outside of school in the village. It gave him confidence to be in his village school, it’s a little world they know and are very familiar with, including walking to school and knowing most people he sees around in the park or in the village. In the child’s mind because it is walkable, not driven to, they can envisage getting there and back alone. It’s a child-sized world.

This stability and confidence gained from being part of the community in a world he was familiar with was absolutely as valuable as the lessons themselves in the early years of school. We see it as having provided him with an important foundation to life.

My kids all went to the better fit school because it was better and had wrap around care.

Pros were a very good education. They had good friends, and they did make local
friends through beavers/cubs. By secondary they are all in the same place.

Cons were driving and having to organise play dates. But even in the village most kids aren’t running around independently in primary.

I’d choose the better fit school again.

Another shout for the village school. He’ll make local friends, who he can knock around with after school, and this will likely help his transition to secondary school when that time arrives. Beavers troop for a few hours a week won’t offer nearly as much sustained contact to make friends. He’ll be known in the village and be part of a network of village relationships. He won’t spend time and energy on being driven to and from school every day. You’ll get benefits from having your son at the local school, too.

Wasn’t there some research years ago showing that young children benefit when their primary school is really close to their home?

Id go for local school. 15 mins driving is a pita. Iv had to do it.