To think that holiday with baby is the same at being at home with baby, just more boring and more upsetting?

[BB36]

Beach resort with 10-months old, I’m in the apartment doing what I always do, prepping means, supervising naps etc. More boring than at home because we don’t have any baby classes to go to or other mums to meet; more annoying because I see the beach from my window and so wish I could go down there and swim. Plus STBExH leaves us in the morning and spends all day in the sea, playing beach volleyball etc

We go self catering in the U.K. and it’s always been lovely with babies. There will be exceptions but it’s generally sensible to change where and how you holiday with babies so you’re not trying to do what you did before but with a baby in tow.

I don't think it's exactly the same but I am always kind of bemused when people complain that holidays with small children are not relaxing. Unless you're leaving the children someplace else You're still going to be doing a lot of parenting. Just maybe in a more relaxed location.

I think the big problem here is not the holiday but your partner.

Completely. I know you'll get people saying all holidays with young children are "same shit, different location" but I've never found that. It's still a holiday and a chance to see new places and explore a new bit of the world and swim and not be at work.

But that is dependent on not having a shit partner who doesn’t pull his weight.

This. Twat.

And if you bother again, and I love travelling, you pick accordingly. No self-catering, no villas, no people who won’t help allowed. AI (and I HATE AI) with lots of lovely things for you to do in the breaks while someone else is baby-holding. You can make it nicer. It will never be like before.

I took dd to Spain as a single parent when she was 5 months, it was a nice holiday.

Baby’s are portable, she slept on the beach or in the buggy, I breastfed so that was the same as being at home.

Dd learnt to enjoy swimming and the beach.

You don’t need to be cooking or staying in supervising naps, just go out with the baby 🤷‍♀️

Why are you on holiday wity your ex? This is the problem

The problem isn't that you have a baby, it's that your partner isn't pulling his weight. He ought to be taking it in turns so that you can have a swim or do what you want to for a bit.

But we've always done beach holidays with babies and had a lovely time. We'd push them in the buggy till they fell asleep and then let them nap in the shade at the beach. In the morning and late afternoon they had a briliant time playing on the beach, feeling the sand and playing in the sea. Don't sit around in the apartment - let your routine relax a bit and go with the flow.

We always self cater (because we prefer to have our own space and not be in a resort) but we lower our meal standards and just make really simple food that requires minimal prep.

Eat your meals out and have your baby nap in a pram on the beach?

He’s a soon-to-be ex who doesn’t know this yet. His behaviour on this holiday is just the same as usual and no surprise.

And don’t cook for the twat. Please yourself.

Oh I really enjoyed our holidays with our daughter last year, yes the parenting aspect is the same as at home but if I’m going to be nap trapped I’d rather be nap trapped on a sun lounger looking at the sea than on the sofa looking at the same 4 walls I see every other day.

My husband & I also took turns to have an hour off during the day to go for a swim, sunbathe, read a book, and spent the evenings on the balcony once she was asleep watching the entertainment from there or took her out asleep in the pram. It was really really lovely.

Agree with others that it’s the partner that is the problem!

We never went back to the room for naps, I would have found that depressing. Both DC napped in buggy or on sunbed in shade. Then DH and I would have a cocktail in peace. Suspect your relationship is the issue, not holidays.

I agree its definitely him, most decent fathers wouldn't fanny about playing on the beach and leave the mother of their child to.get on with it.

Op had you not separated when you booked the holiday?

It was a real shock to the system for me though and I felt unprepared for how stressed I felt and that I needed another holiday when I came back.

For us we realised that going away with extended family worked better as it spread the load slightly. It was definitely easier once they were school age and slept in a bit though.

Seeing as he’s there and not aware he’s about to be ditched I suggest you ask him /tell him to step up and take responsibility for the baby. 50% of the time.

I would never take a baby abroad I think ours were about 3 before we took them abroad,

Yep. Same shit, different location

Only took our babies to holiday parks in the uk half board. They napped where ever we were

For the record I travelled quite a lot with my 2 when they were younger. First flights around 3 months for both of them. Long haul for the first at 7 months. I enjoyed most of it. But DH did his part.

Also an apartment where you prep meals doesn’t sound like a holiday to me. That is definitely same shit, different location. We always went to hotels, they can provide milk, cereals, baby jars, plain foods etc. No meal prepping required, I just took instant milk from Boots airside and a bag of carrot puff snacks etc.

DH also happily pulled his weight. He adored the time with our DC. You’ve a DH problem.

My experience of holidays with babies and young children were doing the same but in more fun places with nicer scenery. I had realistic expectations though and the holidays which were with DH involved him being a parent and not swanning off and leaving me to do it all. I'd guess it's that resentment (which is fair) towards DH spoiling the holiday.

In future go to a hotel with a baby pool and crèche. Or go with your parents / siblings/ any adult who will take baby for an hour a day so you can go and swim etc.

your STBX is a waste of space. Why are you not asking him to take his turn looking after baby so you can go and enjoy the beach?

^^ Agree with this
You can’t escape making bottles etc but when I was married, I had help like lie ins and food made which made it a holiday for me too. Going to the beach or a foreign supermarket is much more fun than being at home.

Your husband is the problem. If you’re getting no support on holiday or enthusiasm from your partner towards your family then it’s hard.

Also depends on your outlook on holidays.

We've travelled several times a year since our child was 11 months and he loves travel and we love holidays with him.

You just have to go with the flow, 10 months is about splash pools and long walks in the pushchair if they nap. Siestas in the room while you chill or read a book on the balcony. Keeping out the sun in the middle of the day etc