AIBU to have just taken my daughter home from camp after a wobble, instead of forcing it?

[Amy8]

Took my nearly five-year-old to a holiday camp this morning. She's been before and usually enjoys it, but today she just wasn't in the mood. Kept asking if it was a half day and seemed really off. I had work straight after drop-off with back-to-back Teams meetings, so I needed it to go smoothly.

When we got there it was chaos. Loads of kids, staff looked overwhelmed, and no one really engaged with us. I was told to just walk her into the hall. She started crying and clinging to me, and it felt like no one noticed or cared. There was no attempt to help settle her. It just didn’t feel right. So I took her home.

I rang the camp a bit later to let them know, just in case they wondered where she was. Then I get a call back saying she’s absolutely fine now and has settled in nicely! Except… she hadn’t. She was sitting at home with me, back in her pyjamas eating strawberries. So they clearly mistook her for someone else, which doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence for trying again.

When I told my mum what happened (as need her for other days this summer), she said I should have left her to cry and that she would’ve been fine after a few minutes. But she never used holiday camps with me when I was little. I always went to a relative’s house, so it’s not really the same..is this a normal boomer parent?

Now I’m dealing with work, a clingy child, and the usual guilt. I didn’t want to traumatise her or feel like I was leaving her somewhere that didn’t feel safe. But part of me wonders if I overreacted and if I should have encouraged her to push through it :(
😢

If they thought she was there and she wasn't, I sure as hell wouldn't be taking her back even if she skipped in the door happily!

It's worrying that they could lose track of such a young child. My oldest is 7 and quite streetwise so I'd feel ok that he at least knows where he's meant to be (i.e. not to go wandering onto the road) and can meet his own needs regarding e.g. water and going to the loo. But I'd be very concerned with that for a 4yo.

If there had been a staff member there to support her in settling and someone you could hand her over too I would have left her but just to leave her in chaos I would have taken her home too.

I think finding a session where you can try and again in a less stressful and chaotic manner is a good shout.

I was an August born 4 almost 5 yo too and she would have struggled in that environment even having been in nursery 4 full days from 1. She needs to know who her safe adult and where to go for reassurance.

In her first nursery I had a call on my day off so she was at home with me. I had a call from nursery about her moving rooms but the manager started with " don't worry she's absolutely fine, I'm calling about blah". I laughed and said I know she's fine she's at my feet. After Ofsted closed them some time later it turned out that they were massively oversubscribed, ignored ratios and had way more kids than they could manage. I'm kicking myself now for laughing off the comment and not questioning whether or not they knew which children they had on site and how they were doing. I'd give them another chance and see if you can get her to settle but if there are other niggles like this comment I'd look elsewhere.

@Amy8They should know who is present surely? How would they evacuate safely?

Yanbu, she is so young and that place sounds unsafe!

i do think it was a bad day, but we can't take the risk - so after a refund and lets hope the feedback gets through

Is this a camp or day care? Either way I wouldn't set foot there again, it sounds overcrowded, understaffed and unsafe.

no a paid camp, not cheap either

I dropped my 4 year old DD of at a camp this morning. She was a bit nervous again but the camp leader greeted us with smiles and a list of fun activities she would do today then her group leader took her hand and talked about how much she enjoyed yesterday and who she played with.

Your camp doesn't sound good and I think you did the right thing. I would complain and look for another camp.

As a full time working parent this reads quite judgey, what do you think those of us who have to work over summer do with our children who have finished Reception? There are plenty this age who attend camps for most of the summer holidays and enjoy it.

Kids have an off switch, you know. Just turn them off for the summer.

Though I'm still hunting for it on my kids 😂.

I think you did the right thing. The worst thing for me is then not realising she was "missing". Massive red flag. Find another camp if you have to.

good for you …but I’m entitled to the opinion surrounding Boomers