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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I too late to change mind on resignation and new job despite signing contract

28 replies

BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 21:37

I've been offered a New job it's a great opportunity, I have told my current boss where I have been working for 11 years today, she said she is gutted to see me go , I have not signed anything yet in terms of resignation, however I have signed my new job contract

I have come home from work tonight all of a sudden feeling physically sick and shaking I need to change my mind do you think I will be able to on both parts ?

In a state

No nasty comments please i feel awful and pathetic

OP posts:
Fullofpudding · 14/07/2025 21:39

Why did you want to leave your current job in the first place?

Stillundertheduvet · 14/07/2025 21:40

What does your panic relate to? Is it your boss’s reaction? How did you feel before you spoke to her?

I don’t think it’s too late to back out, but it seems important to find out first that it’s the right decision for you.

You intentionally looked for a job, applied, passed the interview etc etc so you must have had good reasons.
how did you feel during that process? Can you spend some time tonight working out why you’re feeling this way now?

ReachedVarifocalsAge · 14/07/2025 21:41

People don’t turn up to new jobs for lots of reasons so you can decline the job after accepting it. They’ll be annoyed but get over it.

It seems an unusual reaction though? Are you sure you don’t want the new job having gone for it and secured it and wanted it?

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/07/2025 21:41

Speak to your employer. But there must have been a reason you wanted to change? Are you sure you aren’t just nervous of change? It doesn’t sound like your current employer has attempted to keep you

U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 14/07/2025 21:41

Could it be just an immediate 'ah what have I done' feeling now that you've given your notice verbally? I felt sick throughout my notice period and frequently worried about what I was doing?
Make yourself a sort of pros and cons list if that helps. Of each job, note down why you want this new job, why you want to leave your current job. And just try to think very practically about it rather than emotionally.

lostinthesunshine · 14/07/2025 21:42

You are under no real obligation to the new company. Even though you’ve signed the contact. It’s not like they can force you to work for them. It’s the same principle as if you were to resign on day 1.

However think long and hard about whether you want to stay in your current role after telling them you are leaving. You might find the relationship changes. (Technically you would need to rescind your resignation, but that shouldn’t be a problem if they are sorry to see you go.)

WitchesofPainswick · 14/07/2025 21:42

A change is always difficult! What's worrying you?

BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 21:43

Fullofpudding · 14/07/2025 21:39

Why did you want to leave your current job in the first place?

A redundancy scare last year prompted me to utilize linked in, smarten the cv up etc and attend the odd interview for practice (been at current company 11 years) had A interview and offer and the job and company do sound great but also why fix what isn't broke , the role is a little stagnant but it's all I know

OP posts:
BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 21:45

ToKittyornottoKitty · 14/07/2025 21:41

Speak to your employer. But there must have been a reason you wanted to change? Are you sure you aren’t just nervous of change? It doesn’t sound like your current employer has attempted to keep you

She did ask if there was anything she could do to change my mind but as I have no real issues , it's a bit corporate company that follows guidelines so I understand I can't just go demanding pay rises and special treatment which I don't want

OP posts:
U53rn8m3ch8ng3 · 14/07/2025 21:46

BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 21:43

A redundancy scare last year prompted me to utilize linked in, smarten the cv up etc and attend the odd interview for practice (been at current company 11 years) had A interview and offer and the job and company do sound great but also why fix what isn't broke , the role is a little stagnant but it's all I know

And what is the new job offering you, which you want?
I have to say I was in a v similar position. Felt a bit stagnant, been there nearly 12 years. Wanted a change. Or so I thought, I've really regretted leaving. I should have stuck with what I knew, great team around me, I'd built up my reputation and the trust people had in me.

suzym1984 · 14/07/2025 22:03

It’s so strange reading this as the exact same thing happened to me
accepted a new job, resigned and then went into full blown panic mode
it was strange and so so unlike me!
the only thing I could was ask for my resignation to be taken back and I pulled out the new job
i must say I have no regrets - and am a
big believer in following your gut

BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 22:09

suzym1984 · 14/07/2025 22:03

It’s so strange reading this as the exact same thing happened to me
accepted a new job, resigned and then went into full blown panic mode
it was strange and so so unlike me!
the only thing I could was ask for my resignation to be taken back and I pulled out the new job
i must say I have no regrets - and am a
big believer in following your gut

Were you able to do both ? I only resigned today and have not yet signed anything, I have signed the new job contract tho, can I be sued?

OP posts:
HoskinsChoice · 14/07/2025 22:53

BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 22:09

Were you able to do both ? I only resigned today and have not yet signed anything, I have signed the new job contract tho, can I be sued?

I'm sure they've got better things to do than sue you. If you've signed the paperwork, they will have to start the process again as they will have rejected everyone else. They'll be too busy getting angry about the thousands of pounds and hours you have cost them and the fact that they're now going to have an unfilled vacancy for months until they can get someone else on board. And they'll be busy placating the others in the team you were supposed to join as they'll have to pick up the work that you were supposed to do in addition to their own roles.

lostinthesunshine · 15/07/2025 00:44

BentleybooandHuntertoo · 14/07/2025 22:09

Were you able to do both ? I only resigned today and have not yet signed anything, I have signed the new job contract tho, can I be sued?

No. You can’t be sued.

GingersOwner26 · 15/07/2025 01:31

You mention a redundancy scare, is this issue likely to come up again if you stay in your existing job or are things looking stable there now? Do you think the new job would be more likely to be more stable?

suzym1984 · 15/07/2025 06:53

No, nothing bad happened :-)
I simply withdrew from the new job and carried on in my old job

im not saying you should do this- but something is causing you to panic

Doorwayss · 15/07/2025 07:20

Sounds like nerves OP which is very normal.
I think you went looking for a reason.
Give the new job a go.
Don't doubt yourself.

EATmum · 15/07/2025 07:31

Just to say you have resigned - you don’t have to sign anything to achieve that. You’ve broken the contract, so you need to be very clear with them that they will accept your change of heart before giving up the offered new role.

Wadadli · 15/07/2025 07:46

HoskinsChoice · 14/07/2025 22:53

I'm sure they've got better things to do than sue you. If you've signed the paperwork, they will have to start the process again as they will have rejected everyone else. They'll be too busy getting angry about the thousands of pounds and hours you have cost them and the fact that they're now going to have an unfilled vacancy for months until they can get someone else on board. And they'll be busy placating the others in the team you were supposed to join as they'll have to pick up the work that you were supposed to do in addition to their own roles.

Literal time wasted yes, but there will be one or two other candidates who’d jump at the chance of the job

My old boss (an equity partner at a Magic Circle law firm) took on a brilliant lawyer (on paper). She had a serious drink problem and only lasted the three months of her probationary period. He contacted the first runner up who accepted the job and stayed with him for several years

OP, just be honest with the new company and if you’re going to do, do it asap

HoskinsChoice · 15/07/2025 08:03

Wadadli · 15/07/2025 07:46

Literal time wasted yes, but there will be one or two other candidates who’d jump at the chance of the job

My old boss (an equity partner at a Magic Circle law firm) took on a brilliant lawyer (on paper). She had a serious drink problem and only lasted the three months of her probationary period. He contacted the first runner up who accepted the job and stayed with him for several years

OP, just be honest with the new company and if you’re going to do, do it asap

That may happen occasionally but in the main it's a start from scratch scenario. It depends on the level but for more senior roles, I often find employers decide that if the 'runner up' wasn't good enough the first time, they won't be good enough the second time.

Paying to advertise, paying agents, paying psychometrics, paying staff to design processes, to interview, to reference check, to write contracts. It all adds up.

SeaShellsSanctuary1 · 15/07/2025 08:07

I'd go ahead with the new role. A redundancy scare prompted you into seeking new employment in the first place. Any future redundancy round you may be seen as someone who wanted to jump ship.

Evaka · 15/07/2025 08:07

Stagnant role and redundancy scares sound like reason enough to move on.

Wadadli · 15/07/2025 08:08

HoskinsChoice · 15/07/2025 08:03

That may happen occasionally but in the main it's a start from scratch scenario. It depends on the level but for more senior roles, I often find employers decide that if the 'runner up' wasn't good enough the first time, they won't be good enough the second time.

Paying to advertise, paying agents, paying psychometrics, paying staff to design processes, to interview, to reference check, to write contracts. It all adds up.

I understand that - legal recruitment isn’t cheap - but candidate A was brilliant on paper with a PhD in my boss’s area of law. However, she was too academic and found it difficult not to turn every issue into an academic treatise

Candidate B was equally good, minus the PhD, but in reality was a much better day to day lawyer in our fast moving environment. She didn’t appear to feel slighted that she wasn’t the first choice, her attitude seemed to be “she got there in the end”

HelloHattie · 15/07/2025 08:10

If you get made redundant in a few months how will you feel?

KaitlynnFairchild · 15/07/2025 08:20

You need to weigh up the pros and cons, there is bound to be some nerves at change so don’t let that distract you.

Is the threat of redundancies over? If you start a new job you restart the 2 year clock on employment rights so that is a consideration.

Commute, flexibility, salary, pension - lots of things to think about.

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