To expect my neighbour to stop her son playing the recorder in the garden?

[Alonero]

Not sure if I’m being precious but I need a sanity check.

Next door’s little boy (8ish?) has taken up the recorder and every single evening he’s out in the garden squeaking away. He’s clearly just learning – bless him – but it’s the same few notes over and over, really loud and really shrill. It’s been going on for a couple of weeks now and honestly it’s starting to drive me up the wall.

We’ve had all the windows open with the heat and it’s impossible to relax. You can’t have a conversation in the kitchen without it sounding like you’re being heckled by a flock of geese. I tried to hint to his mum the other day – said something like “ooh, we’ve been treated to quite the performance lately” – and she just laughed and said he’s a musical genius in the making. Right.

I don’t want to be the grumpy neighbour who ruins a kid’s joy but surely there’s a time and a place? Or at least… maybe indoors with the windows shut?

AIBU to think a bit of peace in your own garden isn’t too much to ask?

When next door's children have been shrieking fairly loudly, I give them a blast of Beethoven's 9th on the recorder. I need to improve on those bum notes!

Our old neighbour’s eldest child used to sing in the garden. All day long on the weekends and every night after school. She had a great singing voice but holy shit it was annoying. It was clear her mum was fed up too hence her being sent in the garden to sing at the break of dawn.

Several of us (surrounding neighbours) would kind of shout a few times ‘ok enough now’ when it had been going on ages and she’d stop or go inside but her mum never ever told her to stop or considered anyone else around. I was so glad when they moved.

Normal noise of kids playing and having fun absolutely fine but a shrieking recorder or kids just screaming for no reason, nope. If mine are being horribly loud or squealing, shouting etc they get told to stop or they’re coming inside, if they don’t stop then in they come.

When mine were in primary I was lucky enough to only get five minutes of torture a day🤣. I’ve never heard of a child practicing for that long!

Rubbish. The recorder is absolutely a great instrument in the right hands, though of course bigger recorders are generally easier on the ear than the descant recorders usually used in primary schools.

Recorders are the perfect starter instrument: they are very cheap, need little if any maintenance, and, though lightweight, are virtually indestructible!

YANBU. My next door neighbours son is part of a musical theatre group. Good for him, you say. Try living next door to a shout, screechy teenager. I can't wait for the day he goes to find fame and fortune on the London stage. NB. His mum is convinced he has a gift. More important for me, London is a long, long way away.

It doesn't necessarily; but in general, I think musicians who are able to end up going professional are a pretty good yardstick of what many people would consider to be beautiful music.

Fair enough, though. How many well-admired amateur musicians who play solo recorder do you know of? If you saw a sign outside a pub advertising that they had a soloist on the recorder playing this Friday night, would you feel just as much of an urge to attend as if it were a guitarist, pianist, vocalist, saxophonist etc.?

Why do you think more adults don't routinely play the recorder in their spare time?

I could give you a performance worthy show on the recorder, if asked to. It can be done with a good quality recorder. I'd prefer it to a saxophone. A good quality recorder ensemble, with different types of recorders, can also be quite good.

So that's two well-known adult recordists, then - only one of whom was there playing solo.

I'm not saying that they can't be played well, but they are very, very niche. They're obviously very easy to play badly; plus the breathing that makes it smooth and pleasant to listen to is an art that the majority of young children just don't find at all easy to master for a very long time.

I think a large part of the problem is that barely any children are actually given the recorder to play because of any intention that they can learn, improve and make skilful music; the majority are given them - and usually cheapo, shrieky ones too - as nothing more than a noise-making toy.

Maybe if parents gave their children a half-decent one and taught them themselves or arranged for them to have lessons, it would be very different. How many parents give their children a piano and just tell them to repeatedly bash the keys wildly and aimlessly?

I know it's just my personal opinion, but even the bloke playing solo in the woods sounded irritating to me - skilled as he obviously is. I'm not convinced that it works that well as a solo instrument.

OP does your neighbour have other children that could pick up the recorder? You could be in for a treat!

Sorry OP. This post made me laugh. His mum
is a genius

He's allowed to play his recorder in the garden just as you're allowed to listen to music with explicit lyrics. If his mum has a problem with the coincidence that you're playing your music at the same time as he is, she has full autonomy to ask him to come inside.

@Alonero play the long game and imagine how satisfying it’ll be when he’s a teenager and your kids are learning the recorder. I’d advise adding al fresco violin or trumpet recitals at 9am on weekends.

Oh I have good news for you! I played recorder until I was about 15, I loved music and wasn't allowed another instrument. I used to get music scores from the library and practice all summer. It's a miracle I lived to adulthood really, when I hear a recorder now it's the worst sound ever!

Though I am half deaf now, so high notes are distorted.

I think the upthread suggestion to him of taking up drums would be excellent revenge on his mum 😊

😂😂

I made much the same point to another mum at the Y1 wincingly-awful recorder assembly. She looed at me unbelievably snottily and said she had studied recorder at music college. What. Were. The. Odds.

I'm not OP. I wouldn't mind if my neighbour's kids learned recorder. I'd probably give them some help.

My neighbour's kid does have an annoying ball habit though. Through it, I rediscovered the joy of music. Including the recorder.

Think yourself lucky it's only a recorder.
My neighbour's son plays a trumpet in the garden shed every night 🤣😂 !!

Not true, years ago we lived in a flat. One of the rules of the block of flats was no music practice. One of the other flat owners played double bass in an orchestra and nobody ever complained. When she practiced. A friend of hers from the orchestra who played violin moved in with her and proceeded to practice her violin. Within 2 days the rest of the block of flats had complained so she moved out. Violins otherwise known as vile din.

I work from home. All through that lovely lockdown summer the U3A recorder group practised socially distanced in next door's garden. It was absolute torment.

O lord I remember when my dc were learning the recorder, I came very close to murder a few times! Your neighbours should not inflict this on anyone else, yanbu. If you know someone with a set of bagpipes perhaps you could borrow them and join in with the kid in the garden every time he plays, that might give them pause?

I don’t think there’s a lot that can be done as this comes within the remit of reasonable household noise (unless he’s doing it at 4am in the morning). It would piss me off no end, mind you.

Some people are just bloody selfish - I would never inflict that on my neighbours. Since we’ve had to have the windows open all day there’s always one idiot playing drum and bass at full blast.

I don’t think there’s much to be done. I don’t see his passion for the recorder lasting very long, mind you.

Remember if he’s pissing you off, he’s probably pissing other people off too so maybe someone else will say something. You’ve tried to appeal to her better nature but she sounds a bit thick - maybe someone else will have a moan soon.

This.
It's inconsiderate of his parents to allow it for that long. It's definitely not normal household noise as someone has commented.

If it continued I'd be saying something to his parents..in a nice way!

Sounds like "torture" to me.

Play this loudly every time and see if there's a change:

Agree