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Original poster

To believe that 53 is not too old

76 replies

Whichroadtogodown · 14/07/2025 17:53

To make a new start?

I have been caring for my SN DC for 20 years. They are now moving into supported living. It has been a long hard road of caring for them and securing supported living. It has been full on 24/7 care with barely any respite.
Now that a supported living place has become available, it leaves me lost.
I have no qualifications but will need to support myself financially after Surviving on carers allowance and UC.
I don't even know where to look for work anymore, let alone what I want to do. I would like an admin job if that is possible even if it meant starting at the bottom. I'm prepared for that. Every waking moment up until now has been taken up by my child's needs, hence why I haven't got anywhere career wise. I haven't slept properly in years. I am terrified of what the future holds for me. I have sacrificed everything to care for my child.
Any tips and advice welcome.
I would rather not work directly caring any longer because 20 years of caring has left me in complete burnout, but there's no time to recover or restore my energy. I need to train fast and find work that will support me. I need something that will support me financially.
I divorced 18 years ago and it has just been me on my own since then.
I admit I am at a very low ebb.
Please advise anything you think may help me?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
hotlegshoolahan · 14/07/2025 20:54

As pp said, your local
council is likely to have an employment support programme, or the job Centre should be able to tell you about these. They change all the time and some of them are very good. They can pay for training ( up to level 3 qualifications normally) and you should get a mentor too.

the National Research Association is normally always recruiting for interviewers, no experience required as they train you, so you could try that too.

Summerinthecity25 · 14/07/2025 20:55

53 is not too old!

I am in a similar position to you having cared for my disabled dc for more than ten years but I am 60!

Like pps suggested I would take advantage of any courses so you can make sure your skills are up to date. Also can you sign up to some agencies? They might find you something in admin, catering/hospitality or retail or even in a factory. It might just be short term but you could try it out.

When I tried to get back to work, I had no luck applying to supermarkets or restaurants. I think I am too old tbh with no recent experience BUT I did get work via an agency on the first day my references were cleared! So you never know. Good luck!

SnakesandKnives · 14/07/2025 20:55

Driftingawaynow · 14/07/2025 20:29

I employ freelance administrators and it’s really hard to find people who are reliable, happy to learn new skills and have the right work ethic. You obviously want to get some training and get the hang of various different skills depending on what you do, you could do a lot worse than use chat GPT to help you navigate careers advice, what skills you need, discuss which pathways through this might work better for you. Personally, somebody like you who has obviously had to work so hard… youd be the sort of person I’d be hoping to find. Also asc and adhd can be a really excellent mix for this sort of work, that ability to hyperfocus and also stay super organised. You might absolutely love it! I’m a little bit younger than you but not much, I think just don’t be scared of picking up new skills. Things are generally getting more user friendly as time goes on. I know lots of women who seem to be a bit technophobic, there’s no need for it :)

totally agree with this post

Also you have extensive experience in multi-tasking, organisation and planning and no doubt crisis management.

I would imagine you’d find administration a breeze!

gmgnts · 14/07/2025 20:58

OP, here's a link to the Open University careers and workplace courses, which are mostly free and some are geared to people like you, returning to the workplace after a long break:
www.open.edu/openlearn/miscellaneous/career-ready-courses

godmum56 · 14/07/2025 21:00

you must know quite a bit about negotiating health and social services? Could you use that knowledge in some way to get an admin job in somwhere like citizen's advice, a charity or similar?

Goodbyerubytuesdat · 14/07/2025 21:02

soupyspoon · 14/07/2025 20:22

She'll be entitled to UC as someone unemployed but expected to be job searching full time, show proof of the searches and take whatever is going.

She cant just live on benefits and I doubt would want that anyway, she needs some proper money in her pocket, a social life, to be part of a team, learning skills and having fun for the first time in a long time.

Show quote history

As a net contributor by many, many miles and someone who has never claimed anything in my life, I’d be bloody delighted if op could be given some breathing space by the state, to recover and decide what she wants to do. And no, obviously, looking at what op has done, she’s not going to sit on her hands but some time to find a job, never mind build a career, is more than reasonable, in my opinion.

DiggingHoles · 14/07/2025 21:04

Well, you would be too old for a ball pit, but definitely not for a career.

Would something in tech suit you? I mention this because there are so many free courses you can follow online. There are also good books and YouTube video's to get you started tinkering. And if all you do if software, then you really only need a laptop. It doesn't even need to be a fancy one. An old one with Linux will be more than sufficient.

I think you have a lot of options. I am glad your child will go into assisted living. It will be good for them and for you. Your horizon is wide open.

yallahbye · 14/07/2025 21:07

IwasDueANameChange · 14/07/2025 20:17

Do you like animals? Massive demand for dog walking & cat sitting in my area and if you can start offering competitive rates you could build up some business.

As a pp said, volunteering to get retail experience.

What are you like at handy stuff? No qualifications required for things like painting and decorating.

Are you willing to do a course in something? Look locally at what jobs are often advertised and then see what adult ed courses might help you access.

Unfortunately with a blank cv you may need to focus on what work there is a demand for rather than what you think you'd enjoy.

Not to be negative but even for dog walking you need references and experience with dogs.
As for painting and decorating? Nobody will employ you unless you are highly experienced. Nobody will pay a total beginner with painting and decorating their house.

Ivesaidenough · 14/07/2025 21:12

My son just walked into M&S and asked for a job. They took him on! No interview, two days training (paid) and he's got a 16 hour a week job there, 5 minutes walk from home.
Worth a go if you've got one near you.

abracadabra1980 · 14/07/2025 21:12

sunseasex · 14/07/2025 18:08

Op, I look after dogs for a living in my home - for people who don't like kennels. What about that? I'm fully booked all the time. The dogs are all gorgeous and I love them. I have also made some wonderful friendships with their owners. I charge £30 a dog, and have 4 staying every night. I also have a couple of dogs most days for daycare, bringing in another £20 each. So usually I make at least £160 a day. It's a lovely job, no qualifications required.

You usually need a licence from the council which costs £140 a year - although in some areas no licence is required. Also pet sitting insurance from Cliverton at £140 a year.

If it's something you'd consider, I could give you much more detailed info.

Do you have neighbours? And if yes how do they feel about barking dogs? How do you cope with dogs who may fight? I’m only asking as I think it’s a wonderful job, but you need to be confident and have some ability to read canine body language and to make sure the dogs you do board are relaxed with one another and also a First Aid qualification.

pointythings · 14/07/2025 21:13

I have no advice to add to the excellent advice you have already had, but I do feel the need to say that the way you post makes you come across as a positive, organised and extremely well spoken educated person who would be an asset in any workplace.

LittlleMy · 14/07/2025 21:18

bellamorgan · 14/07/2025 18:05

You should get support from the job centre via your universal credit claim to help get you ready to work. Including courses, help writing cvs and help applying for jobs.

@Whichroadtogodown totally agree with the above. I worked as an emploment advisor for over 10 years and left about 5 years ago but I imagine not too much has changed.

The job centre is your absolute top priority. Sometimes those on UC dependency on their circumstances have the interview marker turned off as it were or set to very infrequent interventions so you will need to request one directly through either going to the job centre direct for advice or ring up UC.

When I was there I frequently set up work experience placements, IT upskilling courses with accredited learning qualifications and referrals to Adult Education Services for additional tailored support.

Im glad you’ve managed to secure the necessary support for your DC and am excited for you to start the next phase of your journey. And absolutely not, 53 is not old these days at all! You’ve already shown a lot of resilience and graft in caring for your SN DC for so long and you absolutely have what it takes to do what is in comparison ‘easier’ work. Good luck!

PoliteSquid · 14/07/2025 21:25

https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/

I’m a qualified careers adviser but have moved into management now. Your local job centre should hopefully have employment advisers to help you. Alternatively the national careers service can be accessed for free - I have linked the website.

Careers advice - job profiles, information and resources | National Careers Service

https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk

Mummyratbag · 14/07/2025 21:26

I was coming on to say online MS Office courses and then sign up with a temp agency. Someone beat me to it! I got a data entry job at the council doing that. If you don't like it you can ask the agency to find you something else and if you do your face is known.

Could you set yourself up to run jobs for people.. shopping, cleaning, mowing lawns?

Mamamia35 · 14/07/2025 21:42

I just want to wish you all the best, OP. Now is your time!

nearlylovemyusername · 14/07/2025 21:51

You are not too old at all and have some precious experience.

I know you mentioned no caring roles, however, would you consider being a nanny? e.g. after school one? are you somewhere in or near an affluent area? these jobs can pay really well and be part time and with your experience you could get it easily.

Good luck!

Amber800 · 14/07/2025 21:58

Very similar to me. Look up your local autism charity offering support for adults and ask about employment support. I’m back in suitable part time work after a very long gap

Anyahyacinth · 14/07/2025 22:11

I know you said you didn't want to repeat the care work you've been dedicated too for so long. I just wanted to suggest that there are roles were you accompanny someone with learning disabilities on days out cinema, the shops...that you might be able to step straight into and have all the skills needed for a limited amount of hours.....these shouldn't be too demanding and would have staff training for you to skill up too. Very best of luck ...your experience is so valid and priceless

ChaliceinWonderland · 14/07/2025 22:22

ripon432 · 14/07/2025 19:11

I was in this position 6 years ago after 25 years of caring for my ds who needs round the clock care , I was 57 years old.

It was traumatic for both of us.

Firstly you are going through a huge change, you need to give yourself if possible some breathing space.

Your dc may still need a lot of support as well

It will be financially as well as emotionally challenging, your whole life is changing.

I got a diary and wrote down everyday one thing I’d done that I couldn’t do before , a lie in with a cup of tea , watching a film, a walk, reading a book, going to the supermarket st leisure and one thing my ds had achieved on his own as well, which may have been something as simple as letting his support workers administer medication with no fuss. As he progressed I realised I’d done the right thing.

I visited the job centre and found a lovely advisor who wrote me a brilliant cv (you will have more skills than you realise) and job hunting advise.

Also contact your local carers group for help and any courses they offer ( you are still a carer)

I too said no caring jobs!!

I soon found a customer service role dealing with elderly people, which I love. I didn’t need any experience.

6 years later am doing well , I went abroad on holiday last year for the first time in 30 years, my ds is happy too, and remember that’s why you’ve taken this step for them as well.

I value every day.

There is a whole world out there which you’ve missed out on , you are not old , just take one step at a time and look forward to your new freedom

good luck

Such a lovely post....

TheWayTheLightFalls · 14/07/2025 22:45

OP you sound bloody awesome.

I run a small charity. If not having a work reference is a barrier for you please message me - we can find you a one off hour or two remote volunteering task when you’re ready and then voila, you have an up to date work referee.

I appreciate that I am a random on the internet but you can advance search me on here to confirm that I am at least a longstanding MNetter.

EscapeToSuffolk · 15/07/2025 12:29

abracadabra1980 · 14/07/2025 21:12

Do you have neighbours? And if yes how do they feel about barking dogs? How do you cope with dogs who may fight? I’m only asking as I think it’s a wonderful job, but you need to be confident and have some ability to read canine body language and to make sure the dogs you do board are relaxed with one another and also a First Aid qualification.

Show quote history

I would like to know this too...but I guess there's only so much you can do. I don't think many neutered dogs have proper fights though do they? My two (only one now) Bichons would have very scary fights before one of them was neutered but they were more or less fine after. I'm just going to start with one extra dog and just take small/medium sized dogs just in case...preferably female but I may be minimising my opportunities a bit :).

Needlenardlenoo · 15/07/2025 13:01

Do you like plants? This is a bit random but how about working in a garden centre? Sounds like you'd be very patient dealing with customers (many of whom would be your age or older) and fresh air can be a great thing when you need to clear your head. Our local large family owned garden centre supports staff to get RHS qualifications, amd often hosts group visits from care homes etc.

abracadabra1980 · 15/07/2025 14:03

EscapeToSuffolk · 15/07/2025 12:29

I would like to know this too...but I guess there's only so much you can do. I don't think many neutered dogs have proper fights though do they? My two (only one now) Bichons would have very scary fights before one of them was neutered but they were more or less fine after. I'm just going to start with one extra dog and just take small/medium sized dogs just in case...preferably female but I may be minimising my opportunities a bit :).

Show quote history

@EscapeToSuffolk I have had neutered males who have fought, aggressive puppies (usually foreign rescues who resource guard), two Pugs who have attacked a face (both neutered - one was injured by a child accidentally, other was a foster I had, resource guarding), and currently a Newfoundland who is a gentle soul but is fed up with smaller dogs attacking her because they are 'scared of big dogs'. She has put up with it for a long time but will now go back at them, or start on any one she remembers from a previous attack 9she remembers every. single. one, by scent. Even from years ago. And yes I get the blame because my dog is usually the biggest.
Most of these scenarios, (Newfie excepted) were all fine outside, but put them into a smaller space (ie a dog boarder's home who doesn't know what they are doing or can't spot the body language), and that's usually when fights break out. Separating two pugs isn't too distressing; anything bigger and you really need to know what you are doing.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 15/07/2025 14:42

Another suggestion that I don’t often see on threads like this is shipping and receiving clerk, light warehouse, or warehouse clerk.

These can be a stepping stone to other opportunities and generally speaking a lot of jobs don’t need any experience and are willing to train. Look for staffing agencies and go in and speak with them.

I’ve hired for all of these positions and what I look for is dependability and trainability.

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