Older people scent/smell

[4658Lou]

My mother has lived with me for some time and I have never smelled anything befoe, but recently there is a distinct scent coming from where she is living in her bedroom/lounge bit and bathroom and the only way to describe it without a better way to put it, it smells like old person smell and it’s terribly pungent, to be honest I can’t stand the scent it’s going into the hallway even with the door shut. I have tried to approach the subject very gentle but she is unaware completely she keeps saying the dog must have a doggy smell - which it doesn’t, bathed regular and my house smells fresh and clean it’s only where my mum is living it’s absolutely reeks of that old people scent it’s hard to describe , I’ve offered to clean her areas no she won’t let me - but I think it’s that bad now that it’s in the fabrics the scent? I don’t know how to approach this I’m at a loss and don’t want to hurt feelings but I want the smell to go or to not be as pungent I want to help my mum but she reluctant for me to touch her things etc.

Sorry to derail but there's actually a totally different smell when people are close to death.

Gosh. I don't recall this smell at all with my own parents, who lived to their early eighties, or my grandparents. I think I have quite a keen sense of smell too. Maybe not all people get it?

Everyone saying it's about hygiene but it seems there's not a lot you can do about it. It just happens and is perfectly natural. I remember when I started my periods I used to be sure I could smell blood about me despite rigorous hygiene.

This is really interesting, my mum’s house recently started to have this smell.

I’m going to be so paranoid when I’m older now.

Thats good. I’d hate for you to be brainwashed in joining a cult or running away with the circus.

I just want to acknowledge your post and to say I hope your sisters mental health improves soon and that the days become better for all of you. 💐

Does your sister have a social worker?

Quite strange, for you to be so worked up about a natural smell. So much drama - thought about joining a circus?

I don't know what this smell is, I wish I'd never found out about it. My DM's house smelt of cigarettes a bit, but nothing else.

I've always looked after elderly neighbours, no unpleasant smells in any of their homes. Am I nose blind?

Thank you Weepixie.. Much appreciated.
My sister is late 80's, never been married, well travelled and is a retired teacher.
I can't get my head around not washing and keeping clean, but this is her life and her perogative..... It's distressing for my daughter and I but sister happy so I do what I can to keep everything else clean.
I realise now that I can't do anymore and just have to tolerate it.
Yes Gp, Sw, Dn, all involved and nothing can be changed.
Hey ho....

https://inews.co.uk/news/health/woman-husbands-parkinsons-years-early-test-
3804130

Woman who smelled husband’s Parkinson’s 12 years early helps develop new test

This thread is far from unpleasant or brainwashing(?) - it's been really useful. If we can't talk about very natural processes for fear of offending delicate sensibilities, then we're consigning our children to being in the same position as OP: unable to tell us that something needs to change about our hygiene routine now we're ageing.

I'm familiar with the smell, had no idea what caused it and now feel equipped to be vigilant and take action during my perimenopause if I need to. It's a conversation I can have with all the elderlies in my family now, BEFORE the smell arrives, so that if the time comes it isn't embarrassing, it's just a thing that needs this soap and a few mushroom omelettes. No biggie. Because no one likes the idea of smelling.

Thanks OP - though I don't feel like you've got much tangible to go on with your mum, precisely BECAUSE this isn't common knowledge. So now she's in a defensive place.

All of us humans "smell" - the smells of babies, of sweaty teenagers, and of older people are distinctive and different but ageism plays a part when it comes to how older people smell.

https://www.jidonline.org/article/S0022-202X(15)41198-4/fulltext

This study found that people generally didn’t mind the "older people" odour and even found it less unpleasant and less intense than younger individuals and middle-agers until they were told that the odour came from older people. Incidentally, the test subjects found that middle-aged men smelled the worst.

Sons trainers, mattress, bedding was grim. That yellow staining oil they give off is awful. We talked about it openly. My husband is nose blind and won't accept his Labrador is whiffy. Which really annoys me.

Doesnt surprise me. Some people are repelled by aging and the process around it. You only have to read some comments on MN, and see the stampede for surgical procedures to appear younger (whether these work or not is debatable!). I've recently read thirty year olds on here worrying about looking old. Don't be daft!

Apparently it's hard to recruit for geriatric medicine. A young friend of ours wanted to do it, and his (medic) dad shuddered at the suggestion.

We're all heading that way. if we're lucky.

I think being ruthless is perfectly ok if it is smelling out your house. My dm had this smell and I didn’t know in my 30s what it was . I thought she didn’t wash enough as I grew up in a house which either had no hot water or too much and everyone had to rush to have a bath because the water would boil over or something. In fact she had a dreadful breast cance r which also smelt horrid. I am very aware of smells and the dear lady mentioned who refused to change her clothes would in my house not be allowed to hang up dirty clothes. Love comes in many ways .

I'm just sniffing my arm, just to check. I have very elderly parents and they don't smell old but I do remember a very aged aunty who did. She had very reduced mobility and was on a lot of meds so I'm guessing it was a combination of those things. It was a sort of musty smell. OP you are going to have to talk to her but I don't envy you.

Is it not normal to smell illness? I know about 2/3 days before symptoms start

I'm sure with an awful lot of people who have it 'reduced mobility' is a huge part of the issue.
They are aware of their frailty, frightened of falling in the shower, and end up just not washing properly. Either using a seat or grips and missing or just not washing at all.
If you've ever used a shower seat, it's just not that easy to get to certain bits, like tops of legs, esp if you have a fat belly or bum.

Some of it might also stem from memories of people only bathing once a week, so think infrequent washing is 'normal'.

I knew it!

Thank you so much for this article.

Likewise. I'm the first to call out ageism on this site, but I don't see it in this thread.

I already knew that it's inescapable for quite a few of us, and nothing to do with hygiene, but I'm glad to see that knowledge spread here, and as I'm 69 and a half (!) I'm grateful for the recommendation of the persimmon soap. I'll be looking into that, and I'll ask my kids to let me know if I have/get that smell and start using it.

Would she wear an Apple watch, OP? It has a fall alert on it. My friend's husband fell at work and she knew before any of his colleagues did and could call his manager to warn him.

I've never noticed this with my mum or with anyone in her nursing home. I'd wondered whether it was a continence thing when you first mentioned it but others have said it's a recognised thing. If she had a watch that alerted someone if she did fall (as well has rails etc) then she might feel confident enough to shower more regularly.

I gave my neck a good scrub in the shower this morning!

Can’t say I’ve ever noticed this. One GM did smell of something, but it was only lavender water.

OTOH I do sometimes notice an ‘unwashed’ smell on younger people, perhaps particularly unwashed hair, or clothes that smell as if they’ve been worn over and over, and shoved under the bed in between.

I have been known to sniff DP and tell him he smells ill. I'm always right and he looks at me like I'm a witch or something 😂

Apparently it's the tannins in the soap that manage to strip this particular fat off. Other soaps don't do it well enough. When I read about tannins I did wonder if a couple of tea bags in the bath would also work 😂

I don't doubt that this is a phenomenon but ketones can also smell quite strong when someone is unwell. Might be worth considering a checkup with GP, especially as she has kidney disease.