Older people scent/smell

[4658Lou]

My mother has lived with me for some time and I have never smelled anything befoe, but recently there is a distinct scent coming from where she is living in her bedroom/lounge bit and bathroom and the only way to describe it without a better way to put it, it smells like old person smell and it’s terribly pungent, to be honest I can’t stand the scent it’s going into the hallway even with the door shut. I have tried to approach the subject very gentle but she is unaware completely she keeps saying the dog must have a doggy smell - which it doesn’t, bathed regular and my house smells fresh and clean it’s only where my mum is living it’s absolutely reeks of that old people scent it’s hard to describe , I’ve offered to clean her areas no she won’t let me - but I think it’s that bad now that it’s in the fabrics the scent? I don’t know how to approach this I’m at a loss and don’t want to hurt feelings but I want the smell to go or to not be as pungent I want to help my mum but she reluctant for me to touch her things etc.

Oh my this! I mentioned to my DH I could smell when DD started having a fever and the look I got! Surely he must have thought I am going bananas lol.

Yes! It's more likely in older people but I have smelt on young people too. You cannot get rid of it. It's a perfume/biscuit smell.

Gosh - I am only 50 but will now be paranoid about this. That said, my parents don’t have an odd smell! They do have great hygiene and a very healthy diet, so maybe that’s part of it.

Gosh - I am only 50 but will now be paranoid about this.

God I'm paranoid too!

Can you try to use an essential oil diffuser to combat the smell, as an alternative to speaking to her about it? There are a wide range of oils with floral, woodsy, or herbal scents, as well as blends and DIY 'recipes' for combining oils. I haven't used them to cover this particular smell, but I do find them helpful when the house isn't as fresh as I'd like it and cleaning or airing out isn't doing the trick. I'd look for recipes for clean or fresh scents and give it a try.

i guess it depends on her age and how she socializes. if 80 and leads a quiet life i would leave her be, but gift accordingly.
doing a good refresh/drum clean of the washing machine wouldn't hurt along with pomanders for closets and sachets for drawers.
gifting water bottles etc.

What a deeply unpleasant thread.

Why so?

The scent reminds me of my Nana long gone, that and lavender soap. 💜

It isn't a deeply unpleasant thread. It is just reality - not made up crap against old people, simply reality that we will all face if we are lucky enough. different stages of life bring different challenges. My mum who died in her early 80s was aware of the old person's smell and definitely didn't want to have it. Talking about it helped her.

You're a long way away from your 80's.
I hope to be lucky enough to have the scent one day.

Thank you for everyone's comments. I appreciate them. Some great tips that I will be taking on. My mum is 75, her mobility is OK and she is still driving etc. However, she did have a fall in the shower once, not too badly injured, but it must have been a shock and, since then, she has been worried about showering and then the scent which was already there got even worse. I know it’s an unpleasant thing to talk about, but from what I understand it’s a real issue alot of people get. If it was me, I would want to know, but my mum doesn’t seem aware of it, so I’m stuck on what to do. I don’t want to hurt feelings, but it’s overpowering and with this strong scent aswell it’s bothering me, and I’m trying to sell the house aswell :(so I’m worried viewers are going to be put off when going to that part of the house with the strong scent - It’s that strong in her living areas. My children mention it to me snd they have no idea what an older person smells like they just tell me about it innocently . I refer to it as an older person scent because everyone seems to know then what I mean if I describe it like that-it reminds me of a charity shop smell, but it is very pungent. It’s not like B. O. It doesn’t go away - I want to suggest getting her a new bed and mattress etc. I think the scent is in the fabrics -I tried to hire a cleaner once, and she refused anyone in her parts of the house's bedroom/lounge and the bathroom. I made an excuse, saying I needed to get a clean for the house going up for sale as I was working overtime, but it didn’t work. My mum does have kidney disease that is monitored. I notice some people mention hormones or illness - maybe that has some part to it.

I spent over an hour recently in a small room with multiple men and women in their 80s and 90s and there was no odour whatsoever, let alone an unpleasant one. I would discuss this with your mother's doctor/your doctor. It may be to do with her kidney disease, and also a level of incontinence may be involved.

Talking about an older person's smell, as though it's unnatural and unpleasant, does, indeed, make for an unpleasant thread. Even more so, if it is illness related.

I read about this last week I think - Mushrooms! She needs to eat mushrooms 2-3 times a week to counter the stuff everyone's spoken about above that makes the smell.

Does she like mushrooms? Perhaps you could get her to try tablets/sneak mushroom powder into things she eats

Edit - I know that sounds mad, but just google Mushrooms/old person smell and it explains it all

And there I was not wanting to spend another 30 pounds on a bag of mushroom coffee. Convinced me!

However, she did have a fall in the shower once, not too badly injured, but it must have been a shock and, since then, she has been worried about showering

You need to get her adaptations for the shower so she can sit and wash and feel comfortable showering without the fear of falling. https://www.careco.co.uk/soho-deluxe-folding-shower-seat/?productfeed=GSH&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=9889137354&gbraid=0AAAAADvLZE21QTyj-ZNbuhytoZdkkqOxy&gclid=CjwKCAjw1dLDBhBoEiwAQNRiQZI6zbms0Lp0RUzxPteAx_g5utU9fWBTQSE0Wij58vGVqHR0ySLsABoCROcQAvD_BwE

www.amazon.co.uk/Support-Suction-Disability-Bathroom-Elderly/dp/B0764CZ27C/ref=asc_df_B0764CZ27C?mcid=1bcd900628953a01a98512e521a77422&hvocijid=15574785984483285647-B0764CZ27C-&hvexpln=74&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696285193871&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15574785984483285647&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045541&hvtargid=pla-2281435177418&psc=1&gad_source=1

You can get grab rails installed, I know social service informed me they could fit such stuff that wouldn't mark the walls or tiles when taken off.

Is anyone else sniffing themselves furiously? I had absolutely no idea 'old person smell' was A Thing

I hope to reach my 80s (mum died in her 40s) but I definitely don't want to smell.

This thread has been informative.

I was vaguely aware of older people smell, but in reality my mum and stepdad (78 & 76) don't smell, DMIL didn't, and none of my age 60+ friends (or my husband) do!

But I'm 56 myself, so now I'm worried that I may start smelling!

My Mother has the same. She washes etc and I do her laundry. She goes out and about a lot and is very independent with all her marbles. I did broach it and she was really offended.

I agree.

It’s not that she’s unhygienic, it’s a natural part of ageing. It’s like asking how to get rid of the ‘baby smell’ from a newborn.

I definitely wouldn’t say anything to her, it would probably upset her and in reality there’s only a limited amount she can do about it.

Is your mum moving to a new house with you when you sell? If so this could be a very long term problem.

If she goes out and about independently can you just go in and thoroughly air her part of the house when she's out? All windows and doors open. Clean down surfaces, chuck bedding and pillows etc in the wash etc? Frame it as helping and wanting to get it spick and span for viewings. Sometimes it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission....

I'd also look at getting a shower chair or similar for her to use. She may hate the idea of mobility aids but if it helps her to shower frequently again that sounds like it might help. Again I'd probably just buy one tbh.

I'd feel torn too as I've a very sensitive sense of smell but would hate to upset her.

Funnily enough Google flagged this article to me this morning, before I'd even seen the thread: https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/health-news/what-causes-old-people-smell-know-the-science-behind-it-and-how-to-prevent-with-a-single-superfood/amp_articleshow/122382370.cms

Mushrooms. Eating them, not washing with them

It's possible that she doesn't notice it herself.

My father has this smell. It hits in a waft whenever I open the door to his bedroom and its foul. Its like a musky lanolin medicated smell. I hate it.
He showers, and i launder his clothes and bedding on a 60 degree cycle but I CANNOT get rid of it. Fortunately i can shut the door on it so it doesnt pervade through the rest of the house.