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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Still feeding at 2….

40 replies

toastwithbutter · 13/07/2025 20:31

I’m still feeding my (just) two year old and being totally honest I am not ready to stop. It’s lovely. He doesn’t feed during the night, maybe 3 times during the day. It really connects us and it’s just a lovely calming and bonding experience, still.

I am starting to feel the pressure from family to stop (though my DH supports me 100%).

Honest opinions from those that have fed to 3/4…. Would you recommend it? I’m worried I’m not doing the right thing, but I can’t put my finger on why I feel like that.

He is still quite a baby like two year old, quite small and limited speech. My other children were much bigger and more chatty by this age. Maybe that’s why I’m still feeding, not sure.

Just after experiences really. I think 3 will be my absolute limit but maybe when he’s 2.5 I might start weaning him.

OP posts:
Marmite27 · 13/07/2025 20:32

Mine stopped around a year. I couldn’t imagine carrying on beyond that, I wanted my body back!

LividVermiciousKnid · 13/07/2025 20:32

I've gone much longer and it's nobody's business but ours.

Do what works for the pair of you.

Tiredofallthis101 · 13/07/2025 20:32

Don't stress about it, do what feels right for you. Was planning to wean mine at 2 but didn't feel right. 2.5 did though somehow.

Original poster
toastwithbutter · 13/07/2025 20:33

Starting to wonder why I STILL don’t feel ready to stop. It’s just easy I feel I have no reason to.

OP posts:
Devonmaid1844 · 13/07/2025 20:34

There's a Facebook group called something like breastfeeding older babies and beyond where you'll find many people who feed older kiddies

Ikeameatballs · 13/07/2025 20:36

My ds had his last feed the at his 5th birthday! Looking back that was definitely time but equally it was only one quick feed at bedtime.

Just do what feels right for you and your child, it matters to nobody else and no one now could care and probably can’t remember how long I fed DS for.

toastofthetown · 13/07/2025 20:36

If it were my family being negative, I just wouldn’t mention breastfeeding in front of them anymore, and make it clear you’re not interested in their options. Cite WHO recommending breastfeeding to 2 and beyond if you want some authority behind you (not that you need anything other than you and your child are still happy). If there’s no reason for you to stop, and you and he aren’t ready then there’s no need.

HedgerowRobin · 13/07/2025 20:40

WHO recommend feeding until 2 years for the health benefits anyway. My son fed until a few months after his 2nd birthday - I stopped offering around 2 but wouldn’t say no if he asked. We got down to a very short feed at bedtime each night and then he just stopped asking one day - it was a very natural closure for both of us. You shouldn’t feel pressured to stop if you (and your child) aren’t ready. I would just stop discussing it with anyone other than DH.

cherriescherri · 13/07/2025 20:43

I’m still breastfeeding my 4 year old. She starts school in September and I’d like to stop before then but I don’t think she will!

Sleepygrumpyandnothappy · 13/07/2025 20:52

Still going at nearly 3 here. I’m 75% ready to stop but DS is absolutely not. I’m not sure how to back out of it at this point to be honest and that’s probably my biggest concern. I’d heard about the “don’t offer, don’t refuse”’ approach but it doesn’t work when DS asks multiple times a day. It’s comfort for him (he’s a great eater so there’s no substitution going on) and why would I want to take away his comfort?

x2boys · 13/07/2025 20:55

toastwithbutter · 13/07/2025 20:31

I’m still feeding my (just) two year old and being totally honest I am not ready to stop. It’s lovely. He doesn’t feed during the night, maybe 3 times during the day. It really connects us and it’s just a lovely calming and bonding experience, still.

I am starting to feel the pressure from family to stop (though my DH supports me 100%).

Honest opinions from those that have fed to 3/4…. Would you recommend it? I’m worried I’m not doing the right thing, but I can’t put my finger on why I feel like that.

He is still quite a baby like two year old, quite small and limited speech. My other children were much bigger and more chatty by this age. Maybe that’s why I’m still feeding, not sure.

Just after experiences really. I think 3 will be my absolute limit but maybe when he’s 2.5 I might start weaning him.

I didn't breastfeed but if you are both still happy with it I don't see an issue ?

Agapita84 · 13/07/2025 20:55

Breastfeeding my 3 year old and will continue for the foreseeable future until she asks for it a lot, spexiwat night times and mornings, thst is the only times I breastfeed.
Anyone else can think what they please, we are happy and husband supports 100%.

Allswellthatendswelll · 13/07/2025 20:56

If you don't want to stop and baby doesn't want to stop then crack on!

FancyCatSlave · 13/07/2025 20:57

DD self weaned at just over 26 months, she potty trained at 24 months exactly and just seemed to “grow up” really suddenly
shortly after that.

I had no plan and just went with it.

hollyhocks2 · 13/07/2025 20:58

Mine's 3 and we're still going. I didn't know how long we'd carry on for when we started and I still don't know. I can take it or leave it except that it clearly means a lot to her, therefore I want to provide it. I don't relish the thought of denying it because I imagine the transition will be distressing for us both, although short lived I'm sure. Whatever your reason for stopping when the time comes, I hope it won't be pressure from other people, that seems sad.

selkieselkie · 13/07/2025 21:00

toastwithbutter · 13/07/2025 20:33

Starting to wonder why I STILL don’t feel ready to stop. It’s just easy I feel I have no reason to.

I fed both my children until they were 4. When my daughter was born I intended to breastfeed for a year but a year came and went and, like you, I had no reason to stop and she definitely wasn't ready. I did start to feel a little self conscious by the time she was 18 months and that was when I discovered the Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond Facebook group and also read Breastfeeding Uncovered by Dr Amy Brown. I also read an article about breastfeeding in Mongolia and started to wish I lived there! I learned so much and felt more confident in my decision to continue until either my baby or I was ready to stop.

I always think it's strange to be asked why I fed for so long... the benefits never go away. All the reasons you started breastfeeding in the first place are still valid. When mine were going through phases of fussy eating it was reassuring to know they were still getting nutrition from me. When they were ill they would find comfort in breastfeeding and so would be getting some nourishment even if they had little appetite. When they were hurt it provided comfort and natural pain relief. It helped them to relax and fall asleep at nap time and at night... the list goes on.

Please don't be influenced by family. Stop only if your baby wants to or if you want to. It may be culturally weird but it is biologically normal to feed well beyond babyhood.

postmanshere · 13/07/2025 21:02

I fed until almost 3. By then it was just once a day when she woke up first thing. It was a nice gradual finish and she self-weaned so it felt really natural. Didn’t have any problems with milk drying up or anything because there was barely any left anyway. Wasn’t emotional either because it was a minor part of our routine but that point anyway. So I didn’t miss it at all, it just kind of fizzled out. think it’s a nice, easy way to stop breast-feeding, just letting it run its course. We never did it out of the house or anything and no one ever saw us doing it and I didn’t really talk about it so it’s wasn’t really a social issue either, no one was commenting that it was getting weird or anything.

Also, apparently average global age of weaning is between 4 and 7… were the weird ones really for stopping before then!

Original poster
toastwithbutter · 13/07/2025 21:05

I wish I knew you all in real life and could discuss because honestly I know NO ONE that has fed beyond a year! It’s so lovely to chat with other mums who have fed beyond that! Thank you for all your responses.

OP posts:
TrixieFatell · 13/07/2025 21:06

4 was the eldest I definitely till. The others were 2 and 3. They were still getting benefits, as was I. One of my children got chicken pox so bad they were in their mouth and they stopped eating. Thankfully they were still feeding. It's a lovely experience feeding your child. I had family that were not very supportive but it wasn't their business

selkieselkie · 13/07/2025 21:07

hollyhocks2 · 13/07/2025 20:58

Mine's 3 and we're still going. I didn't know how long we'd carry on for when we started and I still don't know. I can take it or leave it except that it clearly means a lot to her, therefore I want to provide it. I don't relish the thought of denying it because I imagine the transition will be distressing for us both, although short lived I'm sure. Whatever your reason for stopping when the time comes, I hope it won't be pressure from other people, that seems sad.

Just to reassure you, when my daughter was 3 I couldn't imagine her ever giving up. I wanted to let her self wean but in the end I did encourage it as I was tandem feeding her and her little brother and it was just getting a bit much. I limited the time she fed for until she just stopped asking. It was gradual and gentle and there was no upset from her at all. She was 4 when she had her last feed. It doesn't have to be distressing.

Sortumn · 13/07/2025 21:09

Two is tiny! I fed one of my children to 5. At some point she stopped asking out of the house so my family didn't know she was still breastfeeding.
At one point I must have decided I wasnt feeding through the night, then I think we went to just at bedtime. By the time she stopped she'd only been asking about twice per week and it just naturally dwindled.

Trickothetail · 13/07/2025 21:10

I bf one child until almost 6, but that was very intermittent, by that stage. Another child until 5 and this current little one is almost 2 with no plans to stop anytime soon. If you're both still happy and your DH is supportive, don't worry about what other people think! It's such a lovely thing to do into toddlerhood and really handy when they pick up every bug going!

RhinestoneCowgirl · 13/07/2025 21:10

I fed DD up until her 4th birthday. I was ready to stop and started introducing the idea to DD around three and a half years, she was very sad to stop at that point so we agreed on 'stop when you're four', which she did, didn't even ask on her birthday. She had dropped right down, mostly it was just the first feed in the morning. Her older brother fed until 2 yes, I encouraged him to stop when I was pregnant because I was sore and uncomfortable.

For DD, breastfeeding gave her such comfort, could calm her when nothing else would. On a practical note it was the only way I could get her to nap at home (she would sleep out in the buggy). She's 16 yrs old now, bf seems a long way behind us. DH was always supportive, which helped. My DM did comment from time to time but in the end she could see that I wasn't going to be embarrassed out of something which had such benefits to DD

Momstermash94 · 13/07/2025 21:13

OP I don't think age 2 is weird personally, I don't think I could feed much longer than that personally but that's just me. But people are so judgemental about breastfeeding I totally get it! My baby just turned 6 months old and is EBF, and already I am getting comments like "how much longer are you going to breastfeed her for?", "she'll be one of those who is still breastfeeding in school if you don't stop soon", "she's going to get teeth soon and then what are you going to do?". She's only 6 months old, its perfectly normal to still breastfeed so I think these comments are ridiculous! Ignore people's opinions, it's not hurting you or your child, maybe avoid discussing it with the judgemental people and shut them down before they have time to get into conversation about it.

Lubilu02 · 13/07/2025 21:16

My youngest went to 4 and 3 months! My older ones were 18 months and 2.5 yrs.

My milk supply dried up whenever I got to 3 months pregnant,so 2 of them weaned at 18months. The other 2 carried on naturally until 2.5yrs (and I thought that was long!) With my last I was a bit more relaxed, and didnt really have a set end date. Once she turned 3 I began to think about it more.

A few months later I was completely set on weaning and my milk was drying up through dieting. But then she got a really nasty virus, became dehydrated from a very high temp and raging sore throat, and had to be hospitalised. Breastmilk was one the thing she was taking willing to take.

That whole experience unsettled me so much, I carried on another whole year. She has bouts of croup in between too, and I figured she NEEDED the immunity boost.

You say you little one is small, I'd say your natural instinct to carry on is probably spot on. Keep going as long as you feel necessary! X