Still feeding at 2….

[toastwithbutter]

I’m still feeding my (just) two year old and being totally honest I am not ready to stop. It’s lovely. He doesn’t feed during the night, maybe 3 times during the day. It really connects us and it’s just a lovely calming and bonding experience, still.

I am starting to feel the pressure from family to stop (though my DH supports me 100%).

Honest opinions from those that have fed to 3/4…. Would you recommend it? I’m worried I’m not doing the right thing, but I can’t put my finger on why I feel like that.

He is still quite a baby like two year old, quite small and limited speech. My other children were much bigger and more chatty by this age. Maybe that’s why I’m still feeding, not sure.

Just after experiences really. I think 3 will be my absolute limit but maybe when he’s 2.5 I might start weaning him.

I fed DS2 until he was 2.5. I didn’t mean to, but he was a staunch bottle and dummy refuser, a velcro baby who cried all. the. time! We also co-slept and had no sleep for the entire time - he fed every 45 mins through the night. I was half crazed from lack of sleep. Eventually realised that the co-sleeping and feeding was keeping us both awake, weaned and put him in his own room. Bingo! Next disturbed night was him coming in pissed from the pub years later!
You will find your own moment and reason to stop, or DC might decide for you as my DS1 did (aged 10 months).

As long as you both want to that's all that matters. You've done an amazing thing and it's still beneficial at two! Ignore other people - their opinions are so irrelevant.

If you're happy then no need to stop. It's just social expectations which are total rubbish.

My DS stopped when he was 5 as he started loosing teeth and couldn't. From about 2.5 it was only just before bed and yes, shame on me I did feed to sleep because I was shattered and really couldn't face changing it.

So I'd say do whatever works for you and your child.

I breastfed my youngest until just before her 3rd birthday.
She would have happily carried on, but I reached the point where I just needed to not have her all over me all the time 🫣🫣🫣🫣
Breastfeeding is a two-way relationship, and when it’s no longer working for one of you, it’s ok to pull the plug!
I started by using distraction during the day, or offering a drink or a snack instead when she asked to breastfeed. Carried on with her bedtime feed for a while, then one night she only latched for a minute or two and fell straight to sleep. She did that a couple of nights in a row and then the next night I just didn’t offer. She was happy to just have a cuddle and fall asleep.

There's no shame in feeding to sleep.

It is biologically normal to breastfeed beyond babyhood.

Where I live there are lots of Neolithic burial sites and some of the skeletons that they've found are in our local museum. Lots of them have had isotope analysis done and there are signs saying "likely breastfed until age 3" or whatever. Clearly our ancestors didn't think it was weird so probably explains why neither you nor your little one are ready to stop.

I'm tandem nursing and my oldest nursling is 3 and doesn't seem inclined to stop any time soon!

Carry on as you are if you're both happy. I always think of it along the lines of, realistically how many babies am I going to have? I might not get this opportunity ever again, I'm not going to cut it short just because of some stupid comment someone made.

https://www.naturalchild.org/articles/guest/ruth_kamnitzer.html

A fascinating insight into a very different breastfeeding culture.

I breastfed my son until he was just over two and a half . I fell pregnant and my body was just drained and I had to stop. I put little plasters on, I said ow no mummy’s sore . He didn’t like the first few days but once your over that it’s done. He will still pull down my top now but I just say no no your not a baby I’ll get you a cup x

Who cares what others think. It is your body, your child and your choice!

If you’re not ready to stop -DON’T.

I breastfed mine until she was 3.5 years and she chose to stop.

I think we can’t help but have all the ‘it’s all for mums benefit’ shamey type comments, in our psyche somewhere so there is a question about doing the right thing. I fed my youngest till approaching 4 and I’d never have believed I’d do that if you told me when I first had babies. Two yes, because I knew that was recommended. But before babies I didn’t and couldn’t understand how bf was part of my way of mothering, not just nutrition. It was how we cuddled and I comforted her, how she felt safe. You know all this. As she grew past two other methods came in as well and there was a gradual move away from bf; age 3-4 she probably only fed a handful of times per week. When it was time to stop it felt clear to me. I expect that’ll happen for you.

3 1/2 here. I was very ready by then.

You don't have to stop if you don't want to OP. Tell those making comments that you're not sure why people are so interested in your tits but any more comments and you'll add another month on.

That's one of those weird Internet claims thats taken on a life of its own, but if you look into it at all, there's no way its true.

That being said, if bf a just 2 year old works for both parties, I see no possible reason to stop. It's perfectly normal behaviour for humans anyway.

I agree @toastwithbutter it's a rare thing to be able to talk about. I have one friend in the same boat as me and I'm grateful.

@selkieselkie thank you so much for your response, I wasn't expecting it but I needed to hear that. I'm really heartened by the idea that it could be gradual and gentle. I would love that for both of us when the time comes.

Do what works for you. My first dc lost interest at about 22 months. My second dc just before 2 started to bite a pull so I decided enough was enough. It was a decision I was very happy with and felt it was time. If you are still both enjoying it then I think its absolutely fine.