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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like some reasonable adjustments are actually unreasonable

308 replies

Tiredjusttired · 13/07/2025 20:10

Fully prepared to get flamed here, but please hear me out.

The small team I work in has an increasingly large proportion of people receiving workplace adjustments for disabilities such as ADHD, stomach issues, MS, depression, heart problems. The adjustments typically involve less workload, more time to complete tasks, less responsibility, less travel, priority for desk based tasks (while being paid the same as those with full responsibility and workload obligations).

My problem is that it means there is no capacity for the rest of us to catch a breath, undertake shadowing for professional development, or do general CPD, since the overall team workload has remained the same. I keep telling myself it is right my employer makes these adjustments, but it just feels so unfair. I’ve had to work so much of today to keep up with the workload. The ones without reasonable adjustments have to pick up the slack.

Does anyone else feel similarly? I guess I can take comfort in the fact my employer will hear me out when or if I have health issues myself, although the policy for menopause/pregnancy is very frugal. Currently, it seems a bit two-tier .

OP posts:
ButterCrackers · 14/07/2025 16:47

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 16:40

This is why I am a big advocate for not disclosing your disability until your first day at work, springing it on them will prevent staff with disabilities from being discriminated against during the hiring process.

This would only work for invisible disabilities. Wouldn’t it be better to let your boss know what was required before you arrived on day one and couldn’t do your job? Surely once the contract is signed you could say your needs are so that a solution could be found?

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 16:48

ButterCrackers · 14/07/2025 16:47

This would only work for invisible disabilities. Wouldn’t it be better to let your boss know what was required before you arrived on day one and couldn’t do your job? Surely once the contract is signed you could say your needs are so that a solution could be found?

apologies, i didn't literally mean day one necessarily, I more so meant once the job offer had been confirmed in writing etc.

I guess it is harder to hard a physical disability, I more so meant for employers who hide conditions such as autism or ADHD etc.

TorturedParentsDepartment · 14/07/2025 17:33

HerNeighbourTotoro · 14/07/2025 15:54

Not the "in good ol days we nanaged" bs...
Wet didn't manage it in the past, people who needed adjustments didn't get them and were out of work. Now the subsequent governments want them to contribute and to work, as it's a right for people with disabilities to have the necessary adjustments.

In the good old days I was undiagnosed with autism. In the good old days I was bullied for being "odd", spent all my annual leave lying in a darkened room to cope with the burnout and never lasted more than about 9 months in a job because my face just didn't fit.

I've now been promoted faster than anyone on my retraining course (I career switched), I'm an absolute integral part of my team, generally I work way way above my pay grade in terms of the strategic stuff and support for junior colleagues I provide, as well as the complexity of clients I work with. I quite regularly end up having to cover 2-3 people's caseloads as we're never fully bloody staffed.

My reasonable adjustments - which would have MN chucking shitfits no doubt are:
Colleagues to understand that sometimes I come across a little bit socially awkward or screw up slightly and to have full permission to tell me to calm it down if my mouth is digging me into a hole (when I'm anxious my mouth tends to run off on its own tangents)
I'm allowed more leniency in terms of working from home when I'm just doing routine admin stuff - just to balance burnout - the work gets done, I'm available 100% of the time I would be in the office (even down to lunchbreaks - I make sure I only take my contractually agreed time)
If I'm in the office struggling to concentrate and don't need to be listening to stuff going on around me (like the ins and outs of Love Island the previous night) I put headphones on at times
The entire service has now switched to interview questions in advance - and we all bloody love it!
Reduction in hot desking where it's possible to do this (mainly for another colleague who really panics when she has to move desks but as I'm diagnosed and have "official" brain wonkiness I've used that to support pushing senior management's awareness that they need to consider staff needs as a whole when they're randomly closing offices all over).

I do as much as, if not more work than anyone else on my team. I'm praised by carers and families for the fact that I'm often the first professional in years who has "got" what they're trying to tell us, and I'm actually a lot better at my job for being that bit differently wired - so yep, if those few tiny adjustments, all carefully done so I'm not at all deemed to be taking the piss, make me able to do this - bring them on.

I was also open about my autism right from interview - raised it on application forms, made sure it was explicitly clear at interview because I've been discriminated against before and wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be going into a situation I was again.

Arran2024 · 14/07/2025 17:37

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 16:40

This is why I am a big advocate for not disclosing your disability until your first day at work, springing it on them will prevent staff with disabilities from being discriminated against during the hiring process.

If you went to a sen school, say you did a restricted curriculum, spent longer getting your qualifications because of an ehc plan, need help during the interview, have an obvious disability, this won't work.

Btw my younger daughter has autism but tells no one. She hates being seen as different and just gets on with it, despite all the problems that causes (mainly with interpersonal relationships).

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 17:39

TorturedParentsDepartment · 14/07/2025 17:33

In the good old days I was undiagnosed with autism. In the good old days I was bullied for being "odd", spent all my annual leave lying in a darkened room to cope with the burnout and never lasted more than about 9 months in a job because my face just didn't fit.

I've now been promoted faster than anyone on my retraining course (I career switched), I'm an absolute integral part of my team, generally I work way way above my pay grade in terms of the strategic stuff and support for junior colleagues I provide, as well as the complexity of clients I work with. I quite regularly end up having to cover 2-3 people's caseloads as we're never fully bloody staffed.

My reasonable adjustments - which would have MN chucking shitfits no doubt are:
Colleagues to understand that sometimes I come across a little bit socially awkward or screw up slightly and to have full permission to tell me to calm it down if my mouth is digging me into a hole (when I'm anxious my mouth tends to run off on its own tangents)
I'm allowed more leniency in terms of working from home when I'm just doing routine admin stuff - just to balance burnout - the work gets done, I'm available 100% of the time I would be in the office (even down to lunchbreaks - I make sure I only take my contractually agreed time)
If I'm in the office struggling to concentrate and don't need to be listening to stuff going on around me (like the ins and outs of Love Island the previous night) I put headphones on at times
The entire service has now switched to interview questions in advance - and we all bloody love it!
Reduction in hot desking where it's possible to do this (mainly for another colleague who really panics when she has to move desks but as I'm diagnosed and have "official" brain wonkiness I've used that to support pushing senior management's awareness that they need to consider staff needs as a whole when they're randomly closing offices all over).

I do as much as, if not more work than anyone else on my team. I'm praised by carers and families for the fact that I'm often the first professional in years who has "got" what they're trying to tell us, and I'm actually a lot better at my job for being that bit differently wired - so yep, if those few tiny adjustments, all carefully done so I'm not at all deemed to be taking the piss, make me able to do this - bring them on.

I was also open about my autism right from interview - raised it on application forms, made sure it was explicitly clear at interview because I've been discriminated against before and wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be going into a situation I was again.

I'm glad things worked out for you. Well done and if anyone turns their nose up at your adjustments then tell them to do one!

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 17:41

Arran2024 · 14/07/2025 17:37

If you went to a sen school, say you did a restricted curriculum, spent longer getting your qualifications because of an ehc plan, need help during the interview, have an obvious disability, this won't work.

Btw my younger daughter has autism but tells no one. She hates being seen as different and just gets on with it, despite all the problems that causes (mainly with interpersonal relationships).

It's a difficult decision whether to disclose or not. Personally I advocate for it but I know it can be challenging. I wish your daughter well

nearlylovemyusername · 14/07/2025 18:18

TorturedParentsDepartment · 14/07/2025 17:33

In the good old days I was undiagnosed with autism. In the good old days I was bullied for being "odd", spent all my annual leave lying in a darkened room to cope with the burnout and never lasted more than about 9 months in a job because my face just didn't fit.

I've now been promoted faster than anyone on my retraining course (I career switched), I'm an absolute integral part of my team, generally I work way way above my pay grade in terms of the strategic stuff and support for junior colleagues I provide, as well as the complexity of clients I work with. I quite regularly end up having to cover 2-3 people's caseloads as we're never fully bloody staffed.

My reasonable adjustments - which would have MN chucking shitfits no doubt are:
Colleagues to understand that sometimes I come across a little bit socially awkward or screw up slightly and to have full permission to tell me to calm it down if my mouth is digging me into a hole (when I'm anxious my mouth tends to run off on its own tangents)
I'm allowed more leniency in terms of working from home when I'm just doing routine admin stuff - just to balance burnout - the work gets done, I'm available 100% of the time I would be in the office (even down to lunchbreaks - I make sure I only take my contractually agreed time)
If I'm in the office struggling to concentrate and don't need to be listening to stuff going on around me (like the ins and outs of Love Island the previous night) I put headphones on at times
The entire service has now switched to interview questions in advance - and we all bloody love it!
Reduction in hot desking where it's possible to do this (mainly for another colleague who really panics when she has to move desks but as I'm diagnosed and have "official" brain wonkiness I've used that to support pushing senior management's awareness that they need to consider staff needs as a whole when they're randomly closing offices all over).

I do as much as, if not more work than anyone else on my team. I'm praised by carers and families for the fact that I'm often the first professional in years who has "got" what they're trying to tell us, and I'm actually a lot better at my job for being that bit differently wired - so yep, if those few tiny adjustments, all carefully done so I'm not at all deemed to be taking the piss, make me able to do this - bring them on.

I was also open about my autism right from interview - raised it on application forms, made sure it was explicitly clear at interview because I've been discriminated against before and wanted to make sure I wasn't going to be going into a situation I was again.

and this is perfect example of what reasonable adjustments are.

I have autism as well (Asperger's in old terms). I struggled in office environments before WFH became a thing, but still managed to build a rather successful career, whilst suffering burn outs several times.

Many examples on this thread are not reasonable and this is the essence of this discussion.

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:19

nearlylovemyusername · 14/07/2025 18:18

and this is perfect example of what reasonable adjustments are.

I have autism as well (Asperger's in old terms). I struggled in office environments before WFH became a thing, but still managed to build a rather successful career, whilst suffering burn outs several times.

Many examples on this thread are not reasonable and this is the essence of this discussion.

I politely disagree, and have linked many case studies (tribunal decisions) by real judges where they have upheld such decisions in court

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:20

Just because a judge says it’s reasonable doesn’t mean we’ll have to agree.

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:21

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:20

Just because a judge says it’s reasonable doesn’t mean we’ll have to agree.

true but if the judge upholds it then in that instance it was legally found to be reasonable I suppose.

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:23

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 16:40

yes that is true, and to be fair those business owners who don't want to comply with the law should either sell their business or wind it down

It will mean the loss of 35 jobs in my case.

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:24

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:23

It will mean the loss of 35 jobs in my case.

well then honestly I agree the business should close, disability rights aren't treated seriously and I think change should happen!

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:28

It really makes me laugh when people say this. You’d prefer entire firms worth of people to have no jobs than to push back on UNreasonable adjustments.

be careful what you wish for.

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:29

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:28

It really makes me laugh when people say this. You’d prefer entire firms worth of people to have no jobs than to push back on UNreasonable adjustments.

be careful what you wish for.

obviously it depends on the adjustment, but i'd rather companies close than businesses push disabled people out yes.

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 18:30

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 15:47

If a company genuinely can’t afford an adjustment, then no it might not be considered reasonable. The law takes into account what the business can actually manage. But that doesn’t mean nothing can be done. A lot of adjustments don’t cost anything like changing someone’s duties a bit. For example, if someone struggles with client-facing work, maybe they could do more admin or behind-the-scenes stuff, and someone else takes on more of the public-facing role.
It’s about being flexible and looking at all the options, not just saying no. Employers are expected to explore all reasonable alternatives before deciding something isn’t doable.

the difficulty is as I said before that for companies it is safer to redistribute work to other employees than sack the disabled employee, as a company without much money cannot afford to fight at an employment tribunal, as in general fees for disability discrimination are not recoverable even if you win.

If someone struggles with client facing work why on earth would they apply for a job that has it? I can't hear well especially on the phone. I wouldn't apply for a job in a call centre

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:30

No one is pushing disabled people out though. It’s people taking the piss we have the issue with.

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:32

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 18:30

If someone struggles with client facing work why on earth would they apply for a job that has it? I can't hear well especially on the phone. I wouldn't apply for a job in a call centre

People apply for jobs for all kinds of reasons sometimes they don’t know exactly what the demands will be until they’re in it, or their health changes after they start. Someone might have been fine with client-facing work at first but developed anxiety, hearing loss, or another condition later on. That doesn’t mean they’re suddenly useless or that they never should’ve applied it means the employer now has a legal duty to consider reasonable adjustments.
Also, the Equality Act isn’t just there for job applicants to make perfect choices. It exists to make sure people can stay in work if their situation changes especially when the alternative is being pushed out of the workforce entirely. Swapping out some tasks, rebalancing a role, or shifting priorities isn’t always ideal, but it’s often better than losing someone completely

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:34

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:30

No one is pushing disabled people out though. It’s people taking the piss we have the issue with.

That’s exactly the kind of comment that shows why we do need legal protections in place. People always say “it’s not about disabled people, it’s about the ones taking the piss” but somehow, it’s always the disabled person being doubted, second-guessed, or painted as lazy or dishonest.
You don’t get to decide who’s “genuine” based on vibes. If someone needs adjustments because of a condition that seriously affects their day-to-day life, that’s a legal disability and they’re entitled to support. Not judgment. Not disbelief. Not whispered resentment from colleagues who think they’re getting special treatment.
Nobody’s asking for a free pass they’re asking not to be set up to fail in systems that weren’t designed with them in mind. If that feels like “taking the piss,” maybe the problem isn’t them.

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:37

🤣🤣

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 18:43

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:32

People apply for jobs for all kinds of reasons sometimes they don’t know exactly what the demands will be until they’re in it, or their health changes after they start. Someone might have been fine with client-facing work at first but developed anxiety, hearing loss, or another condition later on. That doesn’t mean they’re suddenly useless or that they never should’ve applied it means the employer now has a legal duty to consider reasonable adjustments.
Also, the Equality Act isn’t just there for job applicants to make perfect choices. It exists to make sure people can stay in work if their situation changes especially when the alternative is being pushed out of the workforce entirely. Swapping out some tasks, rebalancing a role, or shifting priorities isn’t always ideal, but it’s often better than losing someone completely

If someone is asking on day one for adjustments then they have obviously applied for a job they can't do

Comefromaway · 14/07/2025 18:45

Someone upthread mentioned hot-desking. That absolutely is an adjustment that should be fairly simple to make. Just requires a bit or organisation.

But someone refusing to answer the phone at all or unable to meet clients in a client facing role - no can do.

coffeeandmycats · 14/07/2025 18:45

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 18:43

If someone is asking on day one for adjustments then they have obviously applied for a job they can't do

That’s not actually how the law works. Under the Equality Act, someone can be entitled to reasonable adjustments from day one of employment even if they disclosed their condition after being hired. There's no legal requirement to disclose a disability before applying, and it doesn’t invalidate their right to support if they do so later.
People are allowed to apply for jobs they can do with adjustments that’s the whole point of the law. The obligation is on the employer to consider whether the role can be adjusted to remove any disadvantage, not to assume the person isn’t fit for the job just because they’ve asked for support.

to be very clear dismissing someone for asking for day one adjustments would result in a hefty payout!

HobnobsChoice · 14/07/2025 18:51

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 18:43

If someone is asking on day one for adjustments then they have obviously applied for a job they can't do

So my colleague in a wheelchair who has a different desk and my visually impaired colleague with a different monitor set up and high contrast keyboard can't do their jobs? News to me. They have those adjustments and they are totally capable of doing it and do their jobs well.

.

ButteredRadish · 14/07/2025 18:57

You should try having MS! See how difficult it is just to function. I’m very sorry our disabilities are such an ‘inconvenience’ to you!!!!

BusWankers · 14/07/2025 19:20

Fundayout2025 · 14/07/2025 18:43

If someone is asking on day one for adjustments then they have obviously applied for a job they can't do

Nonsense.

I could be perfectly capable of typing up notes, but I need a bigger monitor to do so because my eyes strain otherwise.

I could be better than anyone at making buttered toast, but I just need a chunky handled knife.

I am absolutely 100% qualified to be a solicitor, I just need a space to work that allows me to get myself around on my crutches I need for daily life.

I am an excellent teacher, but I have a back condition that requires me to have a specific support chair in my classroom.

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