A youth asked my 71 yr old mother her opinion on 'Beating the Meat'

[QuoteOfTheDay]

Hello,

On a very gentle amble to a pub in the cotswolds this evening, a young man around 14, asked my 71 Yr old mother her opinion on 'beating the meat'.

Myself, having heard my mother's reply of 'I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean' (she certainly did, the wily old fox) but nothing else, turned to him and asked him to repeat. He then, very smoothly, asked what my opinion was on Man United. Shamefully, I told him (I don't wish to repeat). On asking him who he supported he tapped his man u bottle and ran away.

AIBU to spread this encounter far and wide to alert the church elders?

Well my Mum and Granny used to beat the meat with a meat cleaver to tenderise it.
🤷‍♀️.. from your post l guessed the alternative meaning.. but never heard it before.. .. wanking is called pounding the meat where l come from.

Tell me about it!! They can gastopub the shit out of the King's Arms but you can't stop pubescent boys from trying to educate the aged (as my.mother says) 😁

I would have told him it would make him go blind 😂
Then told him to bugger off before I kicked him up the arse (67 year old granny who does martial arts).

Thanks for the lesson in colloquial practice ( my mum is informing my responses)!

Wily old fox? How patronising

Love it! You want to join forces?

Ah now, she's fully on board and suggested the description, don't worry about it...

I'm not worried. I'm just bored with people in my age group being patronised

Should I put you in touch with my mum?

I'm almost your mum's age and was a cool hippie chick in the 60s.

I don't know what it means but suspect it mean beating his bottom? Or some bit of his anatomy.

And stop calling us elderly, please.

At least he didn't say 'Yank yer plank'.

Not the point i know but I'm confused by the references to Prestbury and Man U yet you're in the Cotswolds?!

Hello to a fellow hippie from my mum! It actually means wanking! Also, I don't think i referred to.anyone as elderly. My mother made a quip about the 'aged' which wasn't meant to be taken seriously. Peace and love man.❤️

I'm about the same age as the OP's Mum, and it was common parlance when I was a kid. Beating the meat, bashing the bishop (that especially!😀), there were loads of them! But I'd assume neither are in current usage these days. Not a nice thing to say, obviously.

This is why older women should never have stopped carrying large heavy leather handbags filled with lots of weighty things. He'd never beat his meat again with a dunt from that between his legs.

Ah, you see, there aren't any 'big' clubs round these parts so the youngsters tend to follow the famous clubs
It was the same where I grew up not too far away (hence why i started a stupid conversation about man u with him). Have you heard of prestbury utd? 😆

My mum is loving these replies BTW! Thanks for the tip about heavy hand luggage 😉 no, I'm almost nostalgic about the use of old fashioned innuendo. Maybe the cotswolds is the last bastion of acceptable smut....

@QuoteOfTheDay I was getting confused as I grew up near Prestbury in Cheshire (Rooney etc lived there) so thought that's why you were mentioning it!
I didn't know there's a Prestbury in the Cotswolds. Or a Prestbury utd!

Sorry for derailing you!

But Prestbury is in Cheshire as far as I’m concerned! And full of people who probably play for Man Utd 😂

Seriously?

I have. It means masturbating

No worries,.I didn't know there was another prestbury!! There isn't really a prestbury united 😁 that's why the kids follow clubs like man u.. wish there was though..

I think I'd have told him a proper meat tenderiser is best but in a pinch any large mallet will do the job just fine.

Then watch him clutch protectively at his balls 😂

My mum is liking you 🫡

Prestbury? One step removed from Knutsford these days!

😁 Gosh, I've just learned there's another prestbury which was news to me, so don't want to besmirch another town...but yes, nowhere is as it was....