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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pet-sitter mad I cancelled her and went with another after she didn't get back to me. AIBU?

178 replies

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 19:17

Fully prepared to get told IABU.

In only a few short weeks we are off on holidays. Arrangements that were in place for our dog have unfortunately fallen through so now I have to find a pet-sitter at less than 2 weeks notice. Unsurprisingly, with it being high season this is proving a bit difficult as competition for spare places is fierce.

Through an online dog-sitting page on facebook I find a sitter 20 minutes from here. She asked for initial fee to come out and meet the dog, to see if it was a good fit for her (she already has a dog of her own). I felt this was a responsible approach and was prepared to be given a 'no' as much as a 'yes' without feeling hard done by that she had had money for this.

So she came out yesterday at 15:15 and was 15 minutes early for the appointment, which was a good indicator of her keenness. Appointment went well, we asked questions, she asked questions and it felt like it was a good fit. She wouldn't commit to looking after him until she had spoken with her husband which felt a bit weird as she's supposedly set herself up as a pet-sitter, but heh ho, beggars can't be choosers.

Waited all last night for a text from her (but didn't message her as it was Friday night and didn't want to be a pain etc...). This morning I waited until 10:30, what with it being a Saturday and having had no answer sent a text thanking her for the visit and asking if she had an answer for us yet. Well by 15:00 we'd heard nothing, not even an acknowledgement and holding message even though I could see she had been online several times in the day. At this point I had to assume it was a scam or she was flakey. So I started looking for anther solution. Thankfully, a kennels a bit further away has a place for the dog and even though we are paying for a full week when we are away for shorter time, we snapped the place up to be sure of the place.

So at 18:23, more than 24 hours after her visit, I message her to tell her that without an answer, and no 'holding answer' we had sorted out other arrangements. I said I was disappointed that she hadn't got back to us, even if the answer was a 'no I can't look after him'. Well! She's got very shirty with me, saying it's the weekend, she'd said she had to talk to her husband, she's been at a birthday party all day. I tried to keep the tone positive, and said that next time she should at least communicate with her customers about when they should expect an answer from her so they don't do as we did and find another solution. I even wished her good luck with her business. She's then come back with it being unreasonable and she's never had a customer who hadn't given her 24 hours before expecting an answer. I finally pointed out that it was over 24 hours at the point I messaged to say I'd found another solution. To which she's just send 'OMG' and a laughing emoji.

Sorry, I wang on a bit don't I?

TD,LR dog-sitter left it more than 24 hours to confirm arrangement then got shirty that I'd found other care for dog.

So, who was in the wrong

YABU - you should have waited longer to hear from her
YANBU - she's having a laugh. She cannot be serious about running a business if she doesn't communicate in a timely fashion with her customers.

OP posts:
Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:20

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:13

I'm more and more feeling inclined to write something on the dogsitting pages she's on on facebook. She's blocked me so wouldn't see what I put. I was thinking a screenshot of our conversation would tell its own tale?

I think that's a bit petty.

She didn't cancel on you.

You CHOSE to go with someone else, 24 hours after you asked her.

Mayflyoff · 12/07/2025 20:20

If she needed to check with her DH, she should have done that before taking £35 off you.

carly2803 · 12/07/2025 20:20

how very odd!
sounds like a bit of a scam! I have a lady meeting my pets and she does not charge for the meet and greet!
they just charge for the visits when i have agreed they /we are happy

also checking with her husband? very odd

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:21

Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:20

I think that's a bit petty.

She didn't cancel on you.

You CHOSE to go with someone else, 24 hours after you asked her.

But then surely, by posting the conversation people can make up their own minds? She finished the conversation, which I had tried to keep civil and constructive with 'OMG' and the laughing emoji!!!

OP posts:
Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:21

Mayflyoff · 12/07/2025 20:20

If she needed to check with her DH, she should have done that before taking £35 off you.

She told the OP the fee before she came, and the OP agreed.

Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:22

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:21

But then surely, by posting the conversation people can make up their own minds? She finished the conversation, which I had tried to keep civil and constructive with 'OMG' and the laughing emoji!!!

No definitely not. Don't put private conversations on a public forum . Why would you?

She could actually sue you for slandering and damaging her business for a start.

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:22

I honestly didn't mind the fee - BUT that was on the understanding that that covered her assessment of the dog's suitability for placement with her, NOT whether her husband could turn down the arrangement. That is unfair.

OP posts:
uhta · 12/07/2025 20:23

She sounds a bit foolish. She knew that it was a short notice job and that it was therefore urgent to get back to you asap. Lucky escape.

Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:23

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:21

But then surely, by posting the conversation people can make up their own minds? She finished the conversation, which I had tried to keep civil and constructive with 'OMG' and the laughing emoji!!!

OMG and a laughing emoji is not that bad.

You chose to go with someone else.

Dont put a private chat on facebook. I think that you are being over the top.

PsychoHotSauce · 12/07/2025 20:23

I have no intention of setting up as a dog sitter, but I'll happily charge £35 to meet your dog and leave again!

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:24

My business communications are always professional. Unless they contain business sensitive information I would have no problem with my communications being held up to public scrutiny.

OP posts:
minnienono · 12/07/2025 20:25

Sorry but she’s in the wrong, she should have given you an answer at the end of the visit, no excuses

Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:26

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:24

My business communications are always professional. Unless they contain business sensitive information I would have no problem with my communications being held up to public scrutiny.

No sorry I think you are totally wrong, and you are being vindictive now.

You CHOSE not to use her service, 24 hours aftet you met her. She told you that she was at a birthday party on the saturday.

Righ she was a little bit lax, but she didnt harm anyone.

Dont name and shame her on facebook. Why are you doing that - to damage her business? That is being vindictive

Let her be. Move on

mindyourhead78 · 12/07/2025 20:28

I'm in the wrong job!! £35 for less than an hours work- she's onto a winner here.
Luckily you found out what's she's like!

CalamityGanon · 12/07/2025 20:28

Totally not unreasonable (you not her). The excuse about having to ask her husband would have made me think she wasn't interested from the outset. It's the excuse pathetic women make when they aren't able to decline doing something in a mature way. What has it got to do with her husband? He never even met your dog and she's either a dog sitter or she isn't so what does she need to ask him!

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:28

More like to make other potential customers fully aware that paying £35 for an assessment might be throwing away money and not because the dog isn't suitable but because the husband might say no.

OP posts:
Mayflyoff · 12/07/2025 20:31

Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:21

She told the OP the fee before she came, and the OP agreed.

But did she tell the OP that she'd come and meet the dog and then have a chat with her DH?

FreebieWallopFridge · 12/07/2025 20:33

She saw you coming didn’t she! £35 for doing bugger all!

Mitara · 12/07/2025 20:35

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:28

More like to make other potential customers fully aware that paying £35 for an assessment might be throwing away money and not because the dog isn't suitable but because the husband might say no.

Well its up to you. I would personally move on. Not just for her . But For you aswell. You have to be very careful what you write online these days.

I left a business on Fscebook a bad review ages ago, and they threatened to take me to court. They were going to sue me for defamation.
Solicitors got involved and I agreed to take it down..

I have never left a bad review since.

SparklyKhakiViewer · 12/07/2025 20:35

Not unreasonable—if she didn’t respond, you had to make other plans.

Bupster · 12/07/2025 20:36

I've had several sitters and none of them have ever charged for the initial meet and greet. Well shot of her.

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:36

I was happy to pay the money, honestly. I felt like it meant she valued her own time and expertise and was responsible enough to assess the dog in its own home and have conversation with the owners. Maybe I'm too trusting, but I also live in a very trusting part of the world.

OP posts:
TheDowagerLadyUrsula · 12/07/2025 20:37

I have voted YABU and can see I’m in the minority. She has been unprofessional, certainly, but if it was important to you to get a quick response then you should have made this very clear. It sounds like the communication was poor on both sides tbh.

It would be downright petty to sabotage her business. Don’t do that.

westartfires · 12/07/2025 20:38

Surely she should have checked and confirmed she could do the dates before coming out to meet you? She sounds like a massive time waster

jawsnsharks · 12/07/2025 20:38

But a screenshot of our conversation would lead the reader to make their own judgement. The readers would be other potential customers.

OP posts: