To go swimming in the sea whilst the kids are in bed?

[Maezzle]

We live by the sea. It is fifteen metres through the garden from the door to the edge of the water. It is a safe place to swim and we are good swimmers.

Are we unreasonable to go for a fifteen minute swim once the kids (preschool) are asleep? They never wake. We would have a friend lined up who would come and babysit if they don't hear from us after half an hour (in case of shark attack or other unforeseen event)!

Basically the only risk is a house fire. We would not have any appliances running and the house would never be more than 30 metres away and in full view. Window open so we'd hear smoke alarm.

I feel like this should be acceptable as it's basically like having a swimming pool in your garden. But for some reason I feel it isn't okay, but I don't know why!

What would you do?

YABU you should be locked up for even thinking of it.
YANBU it's just like a swimming pool, it's fine.

A waist deep lagoon, 30 secs from the house... I don't think that's Whitstable.
Probably Skegness.

Don’t go anywhere where you can’t easily see and hear your young children. It’s that simple. Madeleine McCann springs to mind…

My son’s friend’s house burnt down whilst they were in the garden! Fortunately their young child was with them, fire brigade said if he was in the house, he would have died! So yes you’re being bloody irresponsible anything can happen even in your own home! Does madeleine McCann not ring any bells to you?

Right, I’ve decided the house is built into a hill – I used to live in one like it, though it did look bungalow-like from the road and two-storey from the back, but I can picture if it were a steeper hill you’d get nothing at the “front” road-side, and all doors and windows at the “back”, garden/sea/lagoon-side. There was a path from the front garden down the hill to the back, so I’m content with OP’s vehicular access and that there’s no road between her house and the sea-lagoon – our house had a stream at the bottom of the garden, perhaps 50ft away! Wonder if my parents paddled in it when we were in bed. What was the question?

Is there a risk of drowning in your garden?

People are also notorious at estimating distance (and time).

I'm puzzled at the double stairgate for kids that haven't woken in 2 years. Is that because there's a dog in the house with them? Is it because they are prone to escaping? It's it that your front child when they call?

For kids who stay in their beds asleep or wouldn't normally be needed.

I think it was about chicken salad.

If you’re so sure it’s fine and are effectively eye-rolling anyone with concerns why even ask?

My answer would be no. Also why the ‘we’? Surely then it’s not necessary to leave the children if another person (parent?) is available.

I was thinking lighthouse for a moment, but that doesn't fit with lagoon.

So I'm going with 2d people in a flat house.

Is there a reason that you can’t take it in turns to go (beyond ‘we don’t want to’)?

I’m thinking it’s the sims

It’s neglectful.

They could be sick, wake up and hurt themselves. You could hurt yourselves!

well 2 things

will you actually have eyes on the house the whole time - I find that unlikely and it won’t be much of a fun swim

what a position to put your friend in - not very kind!!

i don’t think the risk of something bad happening is any worse than you going in a pool unless you have an intercom next to the pool

they are very young and I wouldn’t be doing it and I’m surprised you still think it’s ok (I k ow you say you won’t do it but you answers are full of buts)

Preschoolers - I wouldn’t do a swimming pool either - I’d want to be able to hear a baby monitor if outside / child cries if inside, which you can’t always if doing an activity such as swimming.

I’d be ok with a garden swimming pool from
school age - they could downstairs if there was a problem and you’re in the house grounds for emergencies.

sea swimming would not be until I was happy leaving them alone in the house to go anywhere - too much risk that if they woke up and needed you they couldn’t cope / wouldn’t lock them in in case of fire unless they had a key / dangers of going out to the sea when you’re not paying 100% attention etc.

Haven't read the full thread but agree I wouldn't do it, my main reasoning being you can't see or hear the children. Whereas in the garden I'd swim in the pool as the monitor would reach so I could see/hear them, I'd still have some kind of baby monitor for a pre school child. If my garden was huge and the monitor wouldn't reach, then again I wouldn't do it. Just as you wouldn't leave a pre schooler alone in any setting.

However I am very jealous as I love sea swimming but it's over an hour away for me to go, would love to have it on my doorstep!

No it's not acceptable. It really annoys me that some parents think they are entitled to carry on with their lives as they did pre children. It's irresponsible and selfish. It's normal to miss out on things that you want to do when you have children, not carry on to their detriment.

Obviously it isn't ok to go out and leave your young dc unsupervised, and I'm surprised you aren't sure tbh. No, it isn't the same as swimming in your garden.

a house built into a cliff, quite nice

@Maezzle what sea doesn’t have currents?

I’m a fairly chilled parent but absolutely 100% no way! Maybe once they’re 10 or so.

My 3yo sleeps brilliantly 99% of the time and barely ever wakes once he’s asleep, but of course there’s the very odd occasion he’s suddenly poorly or has a rare nightmare when we need to rush upstairs to him. I’d never forgive myself if I (or another adult) wasn’t there to help him immediately and he spent 30 minutes screaming out for someone.

Then there’s of course the unthinkable extreme case scenarios like a house fire or an intruder/kidnapper which you may not notice if distracted swimming. But most likely you’ll just have a terrified toddler crying out for you.

As for your other question - I would swim in a swimming pool in the garden IF a monitor reached the pool so I could hear at all times if they cried out/anything happened. Otherwise I absolutely would not.

I’m actually picturing Daphne du Maurier’s Ferryside house and can see why OP’s tempted for a night swim. But I don’t think I could relax and swimming for me is about relaxation and mental health!

I’d be much happier leaving the other half of the mysterious “we” inside with the baby monitor on while I went out for a 45-minute swim, fully checked out of responsibility, than to have a tense 15-minute “oh god what if eagle and baby are on fire and locked in a ferocious battle over the swirling floodwaters” swim.

A lagoon. Apparently.
Sorry "think lagoon".

You’ve not answered all the questions about why you can’t just take it i turns?

I wouldn't do it OP. However, I can't believe people can't imagine a house with no windows at the back 😂 It's not that unusual. It could even be a back to back house - I lived in one if those as a child.

No different to if I was sat in the garden. I’d still be in the garden.