Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

I dare say a lot of people in other countries would say the same. Capitalism has failed and the wealth is held by a small number of people and politicians have no idea how to fix it. The fact that someone further down the thread said keep a small bolthole in the UK pinpoints them as being part of the problem. We personally won’t leave. The UK isn’t perfect but our family live here and that means more than anything.

Go but not to Canada. They are experiencing the worst of the same issues in the U.K.
Trudeau fucked it badly,

Off you trot !

Capitalism is working fine.

Ive lived for 30 years in France and have dual nationality. Its been a great place to live and bring up kids. It’s certainly not perfect and things are less good than when I arrived. Longer waiting times and the like but I can still see a doctor within a day or two. Get a smear in a week or two. My kids education was private schools and cost about €2k a year. It was absolutely excellent.
Childcare was subsidized and excellent.
Food is good.
The cost of living has increased but not to the same degree as the UK.

Well... If you don't like a total colappse of public services don't move to Ireland.

Exactly 💯

The number of people who moan about the UK being a "Christian country" who seldom go to church or pass snide comments about their fellows who are Christians is significant. Then they complain about other religions taking over.

Equally the number of people saying they won't have children because of x, y and z, then complain that different demographics are taking over.

Bottom line - "nature abhors a vacuum" and if you value something you have to actively contribute to its progress.

I don't know where you think would be better than the UK. It's so much safer, liberal and more functional than almost all other countries. But the NHS is a joke, that's true and very sad.

Almost all other countries, really ..........

Only for some people

Muslin 🤣 you are clothist

Well they are being forward on this. I have not read they will be claiming asylum or are they?

Nah you can’t just stay here and fight. The remaining people are welcoming this situation. In the meantime it is imposible to live or remain in the U.K. with the high cost of living and high taxes. Plus, Reform is not the answer.

In the meantime it is imposible to live or remain in the U.K. with the high cost of living and high taxes.

No it really isn't impossible. Hyperbole anyone?

I loved The Hague on a recent visit. I agree with everything you said. I’m trying to limit my news as it get me down. Hearing the news once/twice a day is much healthier for me.

I don’t want to live anywhere with religion driving the state or laws - Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, none of them!

This is a long answer but we were where you are not so long ago so thought it worthy of a proper response! We moved to France 18 months ago with secondary school aged children; school and the UK economy were actually the primary drivers for us. Our quality of life from UK is vastly different. Food is more expensive but far better quality and very seasonal and regional which we see as a plus. Utility bills are cheaper, both the house we rented and the one we subsequently bought are far larger cheaper than in the UK and before anyone says housing all property in the countryside in France is cheap and we won’t be able to return to the UK because of property increases (heard many times), we have bought in one of the most desirable leafy suburbs of the 5th biggest city in France at the bottom of the market - so future proofed to an extent but I can also not se it very likely that we will ever return to the UK. Northern enough in France that we are not toasted in summer but south enough to make a real difference to quality of life. French bureaucracy drives me crazy and this made the first 12 months tough getting set up in tax/health care regimes but the advantages far outweigh this - we were high earners in the UK but felt we always had to watch every penny, private school was never an option. On the same salaries in France we feel positively affluent and barely feel the school fees for two in a private International School, plus extra private tuition for languages and some amazing sports clubs for the kids. for full disclosure, husband is French but never wanted to move back ‘home’ until Truss - that was the final straw for us economically as were just about to remortgage when that crap hit the fan. We decided we just didn’t want to and put the house on the market instead…Best. Decision. Ever.

I hear you, however I believe it is a global issue. I agree though our quality of life is not as strong as my parents were and only my father worked!
Im reading the comments as DH and I do fancy moving to France or Spain.

It’s a post Covid global problem. Everywhere is suffering.

As it is intended to do.

French have much higher rates of productivity than the British. That goes a large way towards quality of life - basically we work a lot longer to make the same
But part of the reason for the higher productivity is thought to be that the government spends a higher proportion of GDP than in the UK. Which is ironic because one would assume smaller government, less tax and spend = more efficiency but apparently not (up to a point). So there is better infrastructure, less time wasted when trains are cancelled etc.

At a guess maybe the OPs DC might care? when they finish Uni and have no home to return to in the UK but want to work/save money to get a deposit for their 1st flat or save up enough to rent? The OP says the only reason they'd stay would be for potential future grandchildren but what about their actual DC who are only in their early 20s I imagine?? Bit heartless. Plus the grass definitely isn't always greener elsewhere and what about the crazy climate change issues in many, many other countries. Forest fires? no thanks. 40 degree heat all summer? Erm no I'd rather not 🤷‍♀️ Flash floods. Just awful.

There are Franglais families where I live that have uni age children travelling between UK/France - some flights are the same price/ cheaper than an ´in-UK’ train ticket. Plus why do you assume that said kids with the opportunity to have one foot in Europe and one outside do not take full advantage of the possibility of attending school in more than one jurisdiction. It’s that sort of narrow minded view that we feel we are escaping. And heat waves, flash floods etc… so don’t move to those regions. Plenty of other options in Europe let alone globally and there are heatwaves and flash floods in the UK too. I think the question here is ´is the grass really greener?´ and in our personal experience, absolutely, yes and getting lusher by the year it seems. Personally I love France but also aspire to retire to somewhere in the Nordics in the future. Retirement in the UK will not be an option we realistically consider.

I agree! While the French are capable of complaining about the state of things as well as anyone and seem to strike at the drop of a hat, there is definitely not anything like the sense of entitlement prevalent in the UK and a much greater sense of just getting on with things. I appreciate its a generalisation but I believe there is a stronger work ethic here.

@CooCooCachoo having lived in Copenhagen for 20 months ( and came back for elderly relative reasons) the idea that everywhere is shit is for the birds- and people who for whatever reason cling to the idea that ‘nowhere like home’ — everywhere has some ‘issues’ but you balance those issues up - if we hadn’t had Brexit I’m pretty sure my very hard working IT hardware 27 year old son would now be in Denmark, Sweden or Netherlands already- now it isn’t so simple, even in relatively in demand careers because it’s much easier and less complicated for swedes , Dane’s and Dutch to employ Germans, Italians, Spaniards etc than it is a Brit. I think there are some people who for whatever bizzare reason they have want it to be an equal shit show elsewhere , and I don’t blame this gvt at all by the way , everything from lack of social housing to Brexit to selling off public services to tugging forelocks to bankers has lead to why the country is as it is in my view-