Seriously thinking about leaving the UK

[Tanyasfootspa]

I’m not sure when the turning point was, but DH and I have hit a wall. The DC are both at university now, and for the first time in a long time, we’re thinking seriously about leaving the UK. The only thing stopping us is wanting to be close to potential future grandchildren.

It just doesn’t feel like the same country anymore. Everything seems to be falling apart — the NHS, education, transport, basic services — and yet at the same time, there’s this growing mindset that the government should step in and fix every personal problem. I’m all for supporting people who genuinely need help, but it’s frustrating seeing how much personal responsibility has gone out the window. It feels like no one’s expected to stand on their own two feet anymore.

We’ve worked hard our whole lives, paid our taxes, and honestly, it feels like we’re constantly penalised for it. Meanwhile, the cost of living is insane, our quality of life is slipping, and every time we turn on the news, it’s just more chaos or excuses.

We’ve started looking at options — maybe Canada, or somewhere in Europe (though Brexit makes that harder). We don’t expect a perfect life anywhere, but we want to live somewhere that still feels like it’s moving forward, not falling apart.

Has anyone else made the move once the kids were grown up? Did it help? Are we just burned out, or is this how others are feeling too?

Would really love to hear your honest experiences.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do you have any neighbours you get on with? Maybe someone could help you arrange a neighbourhood Watch? I know it’s not amazing but at our place the police came round and we have a street meeting and have us stickers and tips on keeping safe. There’s also signs on lampposts. We’ve not had any crime since - but street is small but we are always all looking out and have numbers for local police x

I can assure you that we have been here before, more than once, and survived. There will be a period of calm before the next crisis. Every country has ups and downs but on the whole it's pretty good here. I say that as an elderly person; I would not live anywhere else.

Your children may not want you to up and leave. I do know some people who spend a few months at a time abroad and enjoy that, their children join them for holidays sometimes. However not everyone can do that or would want the responsibility of a second home (I wouldn't), so am not suggesting that for you.

Don't do anything hasty, do lots of research before you seriously make a move. Every country has its bad patches.

@AlphaApple I honestly blame our electoral system for this - politicians are so frightened of alienating certain sections of voters and the media that at the moment is right wing dominated that they end up pleasing no one or making sensible policies that the Mail/express /sun will hate - we have vast amounts of people who as someone said above want Scandinavian levels of service and Dubai taxes -

Oh yes. Friends of ours left the U.K. ‘for good’, only to find after X years that they wanted to return after all. But property prices here had shot up, while where they’d moved to (Spain) they’d been static. They had a devil of a job to sell their house even for what they’d paid, and on their return couldn’t afford to buy anything like the home they’d sold some years earlier.

That sounds awful, @lifeonmars100 , and I'm truly sorry. What the fuck are the police and council doing about it? No-one should have to live like that.

I looked up the local crime map and we had 9 incidents here last month, all minor. Six of those were a bunch of drunk teens celebrating the end of their exams by getting pissed and raucous up on the downs. Then I looked up the crime map for where I used to live in Croydon: 154 incidents.

I moan about the lack of services here (no buses in the evenings or on Sundays, generally have to go into the city if you want to buy clothes or household stuff, nightmare journey to get to a hospital appt by public transport, no DIY/hardware shop etc) but I wouldn't swap it for city life.

Probably moved onto the next big (read:attention seeking) idea.

You say you contribute through your taxes? That’s good. I also have always paid my taxes and would be happy with higher taxes IF it made a meaningful difference to our quality of life. My DH even gets taxed on his pension that he has saved for his whole working life. However there are far too many people in this country who contribute nothing at all to the economy.I think one of the reasons Scandinavian countries have such good services and contented people is that everyone pays some tax. Even those on lower incomes pay a very small amount of tax I believe? It’s a much fairer system. Every single working person in this country should be paying some tax. Even benefit payments should be taxed by a tiny percentage. Instead we squeeze the current limited number of taxpayers till the pips squeak. I can understand why some people are fed up with the system as it is.

My late DF worked in Nova Scotia for a couple of years @RafaFan and he really loved it.

He worked in loads of different places during his career, and he always said that Nova Scotia was the one he'd most like to live in.

Off you pop, then. You won't find the grass is any greener, but the UK is better off without negative types.

I was in your shoes 5 years ago OP. Desperate to leave the UK (hence my name!). Myself, my then ex-partner and DC did just that. We moved to Thailand with a view of never returning, with eventually settling in Aus. Less than a year later, I returned to the UK with DC. Our jobs and working conditions were poor, our relationship broke down (he was very abusive anyway, but that's a whole other story!) money was tight, my DC was out of school for months and life was incredibly stressful. We were also constantly renewing our visas too with no certainty about the future. My mum also missed and cried about DC for months.

Fast forward a year, I came back to the UK in miserable, grey November. It was awful - life was fucking miserable and hard, But I realised that life elsewhere can be miserable and hard too. In hindsight, if I had money - and plenty of it, I would return to Thailand in a heartbeat. Absolutely loved the country, the people and ease of life - but without money and security - you are screwed. I can't stress that enough. If you're going to make the move, please make sure you have a backup plan if your job(s) do not work out. Your DC are sick - or don't like their school. You have appropriate healthcare in place. You have flexibility with your visas. There is so much to think about, that I wish I had.

@Glystl there’s an awful lot of this going on and big money behind it too - just read the posts by Beth Rigby on Sky - it’s almost as if they are pushing Farage as the only alternative - do people actually look at the bunch of self interested weirdos they already have in positions , the same ones who were busy telling us all how prosperous we would all be if we could just get rid of that pesky EU - how we held all the cards- no we didn’t , however a lot of people can’t see the wood for the trees - don’t think about how they can afford the fanciful back of a fag packet ideas and really aren’t finely attuned to bullshit - you could indeed have Swiss style system - folk would be going nuts about prices, scandi system- folks going nuts about tax ,

I fancy Scotland if I didn't have to consider my elderly parents and when my child has flown the nest.
But I don't like the dark and the cold, and midges so not sure what I'll do 🤷

Yes I do. Because I am one and so is dh. But dh is in a highly specialised role and was headhunted without knowing the local language. So it’s important that you secure a job, otherwise visa is almost impossible.

We’re in exactly the same situation as you. No grandchildren but won’t be long. We’re weighing everything up. If we move we will probably keep a small flat here so we can come and visit regularly.

In our situ, dh earns in top 0.1%, always happy to pay our taxes but if they go up anymore it really isn’t worth his while. Whilst happy to support those in need, we are increasingly resentful of supporting those who choose not to work. And the hate in this country for high earners from them is comical.. You are right, and along with the regular hate marches we see in London, the country is sadly broken.

This is an example of what's wrong with our society. Have 4 kids and get paid 3k.. while I couldn't even afford to have a child until I earnt enough. Makes many people feel like they should just not bother to work - I don't bloody blame them. Where is the incentive ... to the poster who said the well off minorities are the problem.. how exactly? Assuming its not a Company you refer to that minority will pay more than 50 % of the entire tax bill and probably not use any government funded services . Please explain it to us

No, I unfortunately don’t. Not unless they married a Swiss person, are insanely rich or have some incredibly specific professional qualifications.

student visas are quite common and many people end up marrying their uni boyfriends/girlfriends…

LOL. So I guess that would make you immigrants?

I’m genuinely curious about people, like @Applecrumble9 or many in the USA who have great healthcare packages but they are connected to their job/employer. What do people do in those places who don’t work, for whatever reason, or who are old or disabled etc or who lose that job or want to work elsewhere?

Happy to pay taxes as long as they spend it on what you think valuable?
Of course it’s still worth his while.
What percentile earnings are you on?

@cupfinalchaos. Tell me about these hate marches in London. I don’t know what you mean

I think you know exactly what I mean. And if you don’t a quick google will suffice.

I live in the uk but im not in it for long.
I go away on holiday stay as long as i can come back for said amount of time and bugger off again.
I dont book hotels either i rent from a local a little place not very big and pay rent so home from home.
I have kitchen bathroom shower bedroom living room very small but for less than 200 uk sterling a month why not.
I love it its more my home over there i have it done how i like it i know the locals well.

Unlike my uk home that only has the bare basics in it.
Im home now but will be gone again in about 1-2 weeks for 2 months back home 1-2 weeks gone again for 2 months.

I actually don’t know what you mean. Do you mean pro Palestinian or pro Israel or something else altogether?

Wow, how do you cope when shops close for Christmas? Had you not realised you could just shop somewhere else than your tiny bit of east london?

I just googled and I’m still not sure