To sometimes feel overwhelmed with how much effort staying fit and healthy takes

[StresHed]

This isn’t meant to be a post to make anyone feel bad or inadequate about their size I just don’t know if this is something talked about very often?

Do women feel like being in any body is like very hard work. Is there ever a time it isn’t? Or is it genetics, mental health or society pressure?

I have been many different sizes and shapes over the years from a size 18-20 to a size 10.

Each version of me came with different types of stress

Previous size 18-20 me got chub rub on my thighs and felt very self conscious, wasn’t very fit and got told by doctors to lose weight all the time after getting weight related health issues. I would think about ‘when I got smaller’ ALL THE TIME. I would get annoyed with myself for all the diets I failed and over eating.

So then I did actually do it and lose it and Size 10 me now constantly feels like I don’t work out enough, I’ve eaten too much that day etc, need to put more effort in, skipping a work out makes me feel like I am slacking off and got to make up for it another day.

It’s shocked me how hard it is to stay within the healthy weight range and ANY eye off the ball has me quickly gaining it back, it just seems to be how my body works!

I did the hard part losing weight I thought, but I am still putting in the hard work every day and sometimes I just want some time off from it all. But I can’t, because I know I will rapidly gain weight and none of my clothes will fit me and I will have to slog it out all over again.

Is this just my life now

Yes, it's not fun. My body is screaming at me to lie on the sofa and eat biscuits but I'll have to work full time for 20 more years so not an option.

Skipping a work out does feel like slacking, and you know you are going backwards when you have to skip a few. I’m a time poor full time working mum so pushing myself out the door to the gym of an evening is a real mental battle! But I want to be strong and fit.

I agree.

Fitting exercise in is hard when working full time. I have to get up to run in the morning before work and then do strength at the gym after work. I'd rather not but if I don't I quickly loose fitness and start putting weight on, even though my job involves a lot of walking, the walking isn't enough for fitness . I'm within healthy BMI range now but I know if I didn't exercise, I would slip to above

I often joke that if I had a chef, my diet would be super healthy! I admit I am a lazy eater, and probably dont each enough fruit and veg and too much processed food but I recently got a soup and smoothie maker so thats improving , but again takes more effort than sticking some chips in the air fryer

For me, It was definitely easier to feel fitter and healthier before I hit 35 ....I look back to my late teens and twenties and I barely put effort in and binge drank alcohol at weekends but felt and looked better than I do now!

It don't actually do this myself but I did read a perspective on exercise not long ago that said view it as a chore like laundry or grocery shopping..it's tedious a d repetitive but has to be done. There's really isn't an option not to.

I think the big problem for most of us is that modern life is by nature sedentary so you have build exercise in as an extra. A couple of generations back you walked everywhere, household chores were more physical..robot vacuums and mowers are the latest innovation that saves time but cuts out a quite physical chore. I don't think it's laziness, it's time. My grandparents never did anything like the sort of "active parenting" we do now, certainly didn't help with homework or spend hours researching teenage mental health. They would garden or walk or go to a tea dance.

I'm 54 and intend to stay a size 12. It's double the effort in middle age, compared to the physical effort you'd put in in your 30s. Walking dogs every day and fat burning exercises/strength training I do daily, if not every few days, but only for 20 mins. Looking and feeling fit is more important than 'pigging out' for me, and my willpower is steered by that feeling.

I think the key is to develop and maintain good habits, so you automatically reach for an apple instead of a biscuit, and go to the gym because it's your normal routine for that day, like going to a nightclass

Easier said than done, I'll admit, but less stressful than endlessly counting calories and measuring yourself

I was ‘lucky’ in my teens /twenties I could eat what I wanted and never exercised had loads of energy, felt great and stayed slim.
I’m inmy forties now with back problems, I’m over weight and have crap teeth thanks to all the pop and sweets.
I started exercising in my thirties but only started to take it seriously inmy forties and same with my diet (I have lost a stone so far) But I fear I’ve left it too late and my issues are here to stay.

i wish I had known better when I was younger

Have you read atomic habits? That really helped me to build exercise into my daily routine. Equally though, I don’t feel bad if I miss a workout, rest is important as well.

On days where I don’t exercise I read or paint which helps me to relax.

Food wise I tend to try to eat well most of the time but don’t punish myself if I fancy something that has no nutritional value.

A few missed workouts or unhealthy meals aren’t going to make you put on ten stone.

Same I was effortlessly slim until my 40s. Always seen myself as slim so got a wake up call at a routine medical when I was 45 and was bmi 27. Got down to bmi 21/22 size 10 for a few years and maintained that 2020-2023 but what an effort!! Intermittent fasting daily exercise. Minute I slack weight goes up. Currently bmi 25 at 50 so on the brink. What’s shocking is how little food I need.

Thing is though, depending on age, metabolism, height, hormones etc you don't have to "pig out" to be overweight. I'm short and have struggled all my adult life. Now im almost 50 I only need about 1000 cals a day to maintain 800 to lose. Any more than that and I will gain. That's not a lot of food. If I go away with DP for a week and we have restaurant meals, stop for a coffee / scone a couple of times, some cocktails or wine I can easily come back half a stone heavier and that's not "pigging out", that's just enjoying an experience. There's a balance to be found. An older relative of mine is very slim indeed has osteoporosis, huge food issue s and is a massive pain in the arse about eating out..more than once we've been round towns twice trying to find somewhere she'll eat that she thinks will serve her the plainest, no flavour food possible.

100% agree with you @StresHed I think our bodies fight against us. It’s a constant conscious effort to choose the healthy option, do the workout etc. men, by the nature of their higher muscle mass and testosterone levels don’t have to work so hard (ignoring those who blatantly abuse their bodies with poor diet etc).

it’s the curse of woman

You're very likely to stay fit & at a healthy body weight with that mindset though. There's no doubt its hard work but very few people are slim & fit with not much effort.
It sounds like you lost weight in a healthy way & maintenance is just the lifelong effort to keep it off.
Your body will thank you for it.
Agreed its crap though!

Yes, it’s hard work. I could easily put on several pounds over a holiday, or a half a stone at Christmas, and take months to lose it.

So now, as depressing as it sounds to other people, I still watch what I eat at Christmas and on holiday, bar maybe the first and last day, and make sure I exercise in between.
I used to be a size 16, am an 8 or a 10 now, and maintained for more than 10 years

I also don’t have to pig out to gain weight!

The issue right now is it’s very hot by the time finish work so a lot of my usual work outs are then unbearable. The mornings I do try but then I am exhausted by 8pm and want to go to bed then never see my partner!

winter is cold and wet

I do have exercise as my chore and I do it but if I miss one or I’m injured I feel set back by it

Just healed a back injury which took me out for 2 weeks

Also the fear of osteoporosis has been truly instilled by seeing my older female relatives!

I agree. Pigging out isn't a judgement on anyone else; it's a barometer for me x

It's easier if you change your routine to things you like.

Move to a low carb, non-UPF diet that you actually like.

Switch to exercise that you enjoy and you want to go.

I cook from scratch all the time, eat at least 30 different fruit & veg a week, run in the early mornings as soon as it's light enough (thinking time), swim at least once a week (bliss) and practice karate (sociable).

I don't miss many days because I don't want to.

Shorter sessions? 30 minutes in the morning instead of an hour?

Or workout with your partner mine wouldn’t

tbh it sounds like you're not happy in your own skin regardless of body size OP.

I don't think that's very unusual, FWIW. It just proves how people easily focus on the wrong thing(s) in trying to understand why they feel unhappy.

Honestly?- no. I'm in my mid 40s, run my own business, have a dog and two kids. I take the dog for a run in the mornings - do about 3 miles a day round the fields behind our house. It takes 30- 40 mins. Then, on days when I just walk her instead I do a 30 minutes weight lifting programme. I eat a mainly keto diet and am in great shape. I have just built it into my habitual routine so it doesnt really feel hard and actually its improved my mental health massively (in addition to my physical health). I dont know why people think you have to spend hours and hours in the gym to be healthy - its the small but consistent efforts we make on a daily basis that make the most difference.

@Meadowfinch but I am one of those people who really don't much enjoy being hugely physically active. I was a swimmer in my youth so I'm very efficient in the water..i have to use a lot of time to cover enough distance to maje a difference. I have spent decades trying to like running..done parkrun, 5/10k even a couple of half marathons but I loathe it. Walking I like but am always thinking of my to do list at home so it gets deprioritised. I do like cross fit style gyms but can't afford it right now .there are none near me for under £100 a month. I like the odd game of badminton or squash but nothing has ever really stuck enough to become a regular habit. If sitting a reading or doing puzzles burned calories I'd be a size 8 😁

This is the natural consequence of the fact that our normal day to day life is less active than they were back in the day. As a young adult I didn't know anyone who went to the gym - in fact I don't remember there being any gyms! People did more manual jobs, walked a lot more just to get from A to B and didn't snack all the time. As a countryside dweller, I certainly notice when visiting a city, how much more I walk and how there seems to be fewer very overweight people than there are here.

I started exercising at a gym in my mid 30's and still exercise 3 times a week. I eat a healthy diet but still I've put on 1 stone in the last 10 years.

Unfortunately our lives are so far removed from what we have evolved to be that yes, it does take a gargantuan effort. Exercise is something to "fit in" around jobs and other chores, rather than just part of life. Healthy eating is challenging because we are hard wired to seek out calories from fat and sugar, but now that is available in absolute abundance - and not just in the rich developed world. Nestlé will send a boat full of Kit Kats down the Amazon river in search of fresh profit. Capitalism and modern life has completely fucked us all.

I was size 6 until I turned 40 naturally, exercised to stay trim, felt like a chore.
After 40, I have gone up to size 8 and realised how much better I look - like a woman, not bony, so much more clothes choice as everything was too baggy round the waist.

And with perimenopause and work stress, my attitude to exercise flipped - I live for it, it helps me feel great physically and mentally. I love seeing muscle definition instead of just being thin. Food wise, I have never been into UPFs, don’t get crisps, and only like dark chocolate from sweet, so nothing to really comment other than if I eat more, I do put on weight, like on holiday, and have to moderate calories intake to shed.

I have a full time stressful desk job, being a dog walker would be amazing but not practical I have a mortgage and 4 kids! I can’t afford a career change like that

Im at work 8-6 and don’t spend enough time with my family as it is. All the extra pressure on me to exercise is making me struggle. I know women mean well when they are just like oh well be more active get up at 4am or just do 30 mins a day - I am trying, it’s just so hard and I’m so tired. I’m talking about women having to do this for you know, years and years and it gets harder, and we have to work till 68 and raise our families!

im not asking for tips and hints I am just like why is this so fucking hard