To sometimes feel overwhelmed with how much effort staying fit and healthy takes

[StresHed]

This isn’t meant to be a post to make anyone feel bad or inadequate about their size I just don’t know if this is something talked about very often?

Do women feel like being in any body is like very hard work. Is there ever a time it isn’t? Or is it genetics, mental health or society pressure?

I have been many different sizes and shapes over the years from a size 18-20 to a size 10.

Each version of me came with different types of stress

Previous size 18-20 me got chub rub on my thighs and felt very self conscious, wasn’t very fit and got told by doctors to lose weight all the time after getting weight related health issues. I would think about ‘when I got smaller’ ALL THE TIME. I would get annoyed with myself for all the diets I failed and over eating.

So then I did actually do it and lose it and Size 10 me now constantly feels like I don’t work out enough, I’ve eaten too much that day etc, need to put more effort in, skipping a work out makes me feel like I am slacking off and got to make up for it another day.

It’s shocked me how hard it is to stay within the healthy weight range and ANY eye off the ball has me quickly gaining it back, it just seems to be how my body works!

I did the hard part losing weight I thought, but I am still putting in the hard work every day and sometimes I just want some time off from it all. But I can’t, because I know I will rapidly gain weight and none of my clothes will fit me and I will have to slog it out all over again.

Is this just my life now

I'm with you! I lost 4st almost 30 years ago after being a fat child, teenager and young adult. I've kept almost all of it off (am a healthy BMI) and have stuck to regular exercise and healthy eating.

But as I often tell people, it's been 30 years of struggle because I'm HUNGRY too much of the time!

No I am dog tired of all the hard work. My body is meant to be raising kids and seeing them grow up and paying bills and staying healthy and fit to live for longer. It’s mentally very hard. In all honesty I didn’t want the takeaway from this to be about visual looks - I’m talking about health, right? It’s hard work for women to stay healthy as they age

18-20 to a 10, congratulations, that's some result!
I have never been overweight (not gloating, have other problems), but I absolutely hear you.
I hate any "forced exercise", so now at 46 I quit alcohol, sweets and my anxiety helps me not eat
too much (stomach goes to a size of a golf ball).
You must have an amazing will power! 💪

I agree. With a full time desk based job. A 60-90 min commute each way. Husband. Kids at primary school. Impossible to keep up fitness.

however my employer does a regular steps challenge and that’s interesting. Takes some time to plan but if you really try to get 10k steps in a day by adding a walk at lunch time or walking from a station further away, or parking the car further away, it does all add up.

also why the WL jabs are popular. They make it easier to eat fewer calories.

im also not tall. In order to lose weight I have to each just over 1k calories a day. That is nothing. Whilst trying to eat enough protein for this perimenopausal body and get enough other nutrients.

takes a lot of planning on the fitness and food front. And quite frankly it’s tiring alongside work and kids.

You must have tremendous willpower OP. But there are limits to what you can white-knuckle your way through.

A PP suggested Atomic Habits and I agree that might be useful - for building habits that don’t rely on willpower. I have also found Slimpod to be very useful for the psychological aspects of making healthy choices, day after day, but not relying on tons of effort.

I mean this is what I do, this is my life. But I am very tired. It’s not always nice weather and you don’t always feel well. There are other things that come up in life. I don’t spend hours working out in a gym either. I love being outside but usually this is at the sacrifice of time with my family, sleep, housework or time with my partner. I am first up and first to bed. My partner helps plenty. We tend to end up doing more physical activity on weekends to make up for what I feel I have missed in the week but this is pressure too, I know he would like more relaxing time but I feel like I don’t have it!

I will look at atomic habits.

I am being too hard on myself. I have good habits. I am just very tired of them recently.

I walk at least 5 miles a day (intentionally), have mini home gym with weights and I go to gym classes.

I gained a few pounds on holiday 4 months ago - still can’t get them off 😂 despite all the effort I put in - demoralising isn’t it

I agree. I’m late 50’s and retired early due to after effects of cancer treatment so I do have time but I do feel this constant pressure to stay healthy. There is also some pressure after cancer around this I feel, as there is some evidence to show exercise can reduce the risk of recurrence. It does feel like if I even have a day off “healthy” eating and exercise the weight just goes straight back on. I’m mid point on healthy BMI but it does feel like a constant battle to stay there. I don’t know what the answer is. Maybe I should just do an experiment and stop all exercise and weight tracking for a month and see what happens. Most likely I’ll be at least half a stone heavier if not more.

OMG OP I hear you. I put on a massive amount of weight in recent years (7 stone) and you think it would fall off once I started eating healthy given how overweight I am. The first 2 stone did come off quite easily and I'm almost at 3 stone now but bloody hell I feel like my life is going in slow motion waiting for the scales to go down.

In my early thirties I had almost 3 stone to lose and I did that in 4 months through healthy eating and I have to admit working out each day. No bother.
I stayed at the right weight for years until I dated someone who was a bit fat and I fell into bad habits. Not blaming him as I kept it going myself after we split.

Now in my fifties and losing weight is proving more difficult to be sure. I used to be able to eat 2000 cals a day plus do a workout and could lose any excess weight.

Now eating 2000 cals per day and okay not doing the workout but just gardening, dog walking etc and the weight loss seems to be stalling. I mean I am still 4 stone overweight so I'm kinda surprised. This week I have really struggled with sheer longing for icecream/cream cakes but haven't given in. Instead making my one piece of dark chocolate last half an hour.

I've stopped all junk, all ready meals but it seems I am going to have to cut my calories again. Last 4 weeks I've lost 0lbs, 3lbs, 2Lbs, 0Lbs and this week I seem to be 1lb down with weigh in due tomorrow.

In all fairness my period in due so that isn't helping but still. I console myself with the fact that slow loss means less chance of loose skin etc and muscle loss.

It's flipping depressing.

I'll probably have to start doing some exercise soon (I haven't been because I was so heavy that doing basic housework just about killed me and at least that has gotten easier).

Not currently on weight loss jabs so I suppose I have them to fall back on if I can't do it myself but god dammit this is bloody hard work!

p.s. my new dieting tip is porridge. You know the type you make yourself, not the instant sugar laden crap.

Eating that plus a banana is sweet and filling and if desperate I add a drizzle of honey too. I seem to lose better when I eat this as one of my meals. Last week I went back to eating branflakes and seem to want to eat massive portions of those whereas with porridge I get too full.

So back on the porridge this coming week. Wish me luck!

@LosingWeightIsReallyHard i remember this stage really well, you have my sympathy! I did find just walking helped, you don’t need to do anything too strenuous but get in some more steps, get out of breath a little and this is how I got myself kick started again after a lull or feeling demoralised.

a lot of ice lollies are low calorie (or you can make them) or kids ice pops maybe they would help? Mini milks and frozen Greek yoghurt me sane

I’m now at the maintenance dead zone where you have to constantly keep at it as to not gain, but you can’t lose anymore without basically eating lettuce and grinding your knees into dust every day, only to have one off day and be back at square 1!

As mentioned upthread this is modern life - sedentary lifestyles combined with less time to prepare and cook proper food plus the abundance of junk food.

A lot of you (including OP) sound like you have eating disorders, the amount of time and effort you are putting into “fitness” and “dieting” is exhausting reading about !

Walk more, eat more fruit and veg.

"Walk more, eat more fruit and veg".

Ooh, we NEVER thought of that...

Seriously, I'm 67. I walk miles a day, very fast, with my energetic dog AND do miles on the treadmill at the gym every week. AND have been eating a diet based on enormous quantities of veg and some fruit (we're taking 10 portions a day) for years. Stop it with your simplistic nonsense.

I do not have an ED. I think this is quite offensive. I’m not ‘dieting’ I am maintaining a healthy weight isn’t that what we are meant to do for our health? It’s also really offensive to just tell people to eat veg and walk more when it’s clearly not that easy peasy 🙄

At no point have I even focused on my looks (apart from not wanting to buy all new clothes again which is expensive and time consuming) all I have mentioned is health and wellbeing and as a female how we age its hard work to achieve it

in my opening post I described how I was really unwell and lost weight for my health, now I am trying to stay healthy for my health in the long term. No one tells you it’s hard and no one tells you it takes actual effort. If it was as easy as eating veg and walking more then surely if I am doing all that it wouoe solve everything right it? Well then why isn’t it that easy? I eat really well and work out. It’s still a struggle to maintain a certain lifestyle

It really does seem quite insane. I find it hard to accept this is how it's supposed to be. We had all these labour-saving devices to free up time but we're busier than ever, including all the hours we must spend on exercise and the amount of research, trial and error we must to do to find out what might be right for us PLUS the avalanche of contradictory nutrition/food information we're meant to be analysing, taking into account bodily changes, illnesses, allergies, peri meno, meno and post meno, so much so, we're expected to be mini nutritionists/scientists/biologists/physicists. It can't be right. It sucks the joy out of life and living.

@yellowdress34 you said this so well. Summed it up for me. And no men do not feel under this pressure I don’t think!

its not about not having an extra bit of cake for fear of weight gain. Its everything. what skin care am I using, trying to heal injuries that keep appearing, trying to get enough sleep, trying to find exercise that doesn’t bloody injure you, finding good supplements, decent footwear to exercise in, finding classes or gyms that suit your needs there is so much admin!

Yep- it’s been a lifelong struggle to be honest. I also used to smoke then vape and am now trying to quit vaping. I also hate exercise.

I hear you! Truly, taking it all into consideration, it can feel like a full-time job - one that costs instead of pays.

A few weeks ago I was moaning about peri weight gain, mood swings and exhaustion. My friend asked what I ate and how I exercised and proceeded to bollock me 😅

For the last month I've done the following and feel (unsurprisingly) so much better-

• exercise before work- a 5 to 8k, a yoga with adriene video or a caroline Girvan one. Have done this daily and rotate between cardio, strength and yoga (the more athletic ones not just snuggling under a blanket)
• IF (16:8) I eat between 10am and 6pm. There has been the odd evening snack but something like an apple or babybel not a sharing bag of chocolate.
• not had cake, crisps, chocolate, pastries or bread.
• cut caffeine from 3 or 4 cups of filter to just one at 6.30am.
• drinking a bottle of water as soon as I wake up. Had no idea I was so dehydrated!

I'm really enjoying the new way of life but know if will be much harder once the weather changes. I'm hoping to embed these habits before then.

And on top of all this, the minefield of HRT - whether to go on it, what kind and what dosage etc.

@ErnestClementine I am pleased for you but what you describe is an entire lifestyle change and a lot of admin. This is my point.. it’s not easy or straightforward and sometimes this then stops working and you are like wtf, now I have to reassess everything all over again! I’m not saying it’s not worth it but we are doing a full time job of health on top of all our other things

@StresHed I agree and it means dropping other things. I can build fitness OR have a clean house OR enjoy non-health hobbies. I also work FT and have teens. I am less exhausted since prioritising fitness so that makes it worthwhile for now but I am still acutely aware of the things I am not doing!

This sounds quite reasonable. I'm already in the gym 4 times per week, but need to sew my mouth shut.

I'm going to try items 2-5 on your list. Pastries will be challenging, but I'll give it a good go 🤞🏾.

It’s definitely harder when you get past 40.
At one time I’d just have to cut down a little and the weight would drop off easily but not any more.
I eat better than I ever have in my life - hardly any processed food, plenty of plant based, no junk, and only drink socially. Exercise daily, at least 15k steps most days plus gym classes and I’m still in the overweight category.
If I’d eaten and exercised like this twenty years ago I’d have been a waif!

I totally agree though I am different. I’ve never struggled with my weight, it’s always been consistently healthy (8 and a half stones) regardless of what I eat. However I’m very serious about my health now as I get older (47) and agree totally it takes such a lot of work. Meal planning, cooking from scratch, will power, making salads for work , saying no to takeaways and treats adulting the week, doing an exercise video at the end of a busy day of work, cooking, washing, kids activities instead of reading a book. I can only hope, and hope you feel the same , that it will all pay off as I age and stay fit and active. And well done on the weight loss!