To be super anxious at going on hols without teens.

[JustAnotherManicMomday]

We have 2 teen sons 15 and 18. Both will be staying home alone for the 2 weeks. Grandparents on both sides are no more than 10 minutes by car. Both will keep to themselves. Fridge and freezer full. No worrying about parties etc as they are not very social. In fact if I was home I would only really see them at meal times as spend their time gaming.

They will be checking in on them frequently and we will be calling daily. 2 week cruise as honeymoon due to marriage last year. Aibu to be filed with dread at leaving them that long. Previously done 3 nights with no issues. In the event of an emergency I will book a flight from nearest airport back home. DH thinks everything will be fine but I have been so anxious from when he booked it and now its almost here I'm just so unsure.

Is this a joke? 18 year olds go off to uni, hundreds, sometimes thousands of miles from home, sometimes in foreign countries. They have to cook and clean and launder and lock the door at night and get themselves up and out to lectures, and budget, all in the presence of complete strangers, with no familiar person around to support them. How on earth can they do this, if they have parents who think they can't survive in their own home for two weeks, with friends and family members very nearby?

I moved out and lived alone from 18 and my DP did from 16. We are still alive and healthy. This arrangement sounds fine to me! The GPs will keep an eye and that way they won't starve!

I think you know your boys best and you have responsible gps who will check up on them . I assume you have smoke alarms installed and the boys are sensible. Two weeks is a long time but there are two of them do not an empty house. Just make sure they know they have gp support when needed. Maybe they can cook a meal and invite their gps round one evening (as if ha ha).

I would probably put some kind of condition in that they have to leave the house for at least an hour a day. No idea how to monitor that though.

Don't stock up the fridge or freezer. Let them shop for themselves.

Then maybe they won't turn out like the ones I see in my local supermarkets every September, wandering aimlessly round in groups, gazing gormlessly into the chiller cabinets, as if they have never been in a supermarket before. And getting in everyone's way.

I’d have mum anxiety too. A weekend or maybe a week at a push. Any longer is a lot.

One of my happiest teenage memories is the summer when my mum and dad left me and my sister at home for 2 weeks in the 1980s. We were the same age as your DC. We did not have any close family nearby checking up on us, but I suppose we did know friends’ parents locally that we could have asked for help if needed. My parents definitely didn’t call us while they were away. We both had summer jobs and I could drive, so I gave my sister lifts and we did a couple of supermarket shops together. We rented loads of videos, ate whatever we wanted and hired a suntanning bed for 2 weeks! We had a great time and the cat didn’t have to be miserable at the Cattery.
Enjoy your lovely holiday!

@JustAnotherManicMomday does your 15yo have SN, you talk about it being safer if he is at home

They will be fine and have plenty of support around them if needed.
Course you were going to get comments saying no etc. But they are your children and you know them best.
Enjoy your honeymoon

I’m surprised by these responses. But then again, I left home at 17. My parents left me and my brother (just turned 16 and 17) for a week and we were absolutely fine, could have easily had done another week. And this was when I was in the middle of doing my GCSEs and I still got myself up and got to my exams

Me and brother were left at 15 and 14, we were fine, loved it

I also moved out at 17

I also left home at 17 and can’t see an issue with this at all.

Smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarm, cctv on the outside of the property. Live on a quiet culture de sac and get on with neighbours who would also jump in if an emergency. Would also be leaving emergency cash and credit card (with a limit) should they need anything.

@JustAnotherManicMomday

"Aibu to be filed with dread" no, not at all.

But the boys will have a blast, as will you. 🤣

Enjoy your honeymoon 👰🏼

All the babying on here. I lived with now dh at 17. People who wouldn’t even leave an actual adult bonkers.

The 15 year old is down to his you feel. The adult child is old enough to look after them providing you don’t think they will fight and such.

The 18 year old is legally an adult and not a worry at all. The 15 year old is more a grey area.

He is Autistic but he is fully able to communicate and comprehend the situation. He does not like crowds or new places and is very anxious with foods he eats. His brother knows how to prep his foods the way he likes as do GPS. They also have a budget for the occasional takeaway. On the condition they eat healthily which will be monitored by GPS as well. On holiday he would sit in the room and not move eating nothing. Last year he litterally wouldn't touch a thing we flew home early because of it. This year his home with all his safe foods snacks etc in his own environment. His actually looking forward to it.

I wouldn’t leave a 15 year old, can you not change your booking and go on a family holiday?

I'd be full of dread too...mine are 14/17. I can't imagine leaving them to to it for two weeks in a years time. My biggest fears would be them forgetting to turn off electrical appliances and not remembering to lock up doors and windows etc. They are well behaved but absent minded.

And despite loving the idea of a cruise..it's really not a great idea if you need to get home quickly.

Mine are exactly the same age. Go on your honeymoon. Enjoy yourself. Your eldest is an adult. 15 year will be grand with his ADULT brother and his Grandparents calling in.

What will they be doing in the 2 weeks you are away? Does 18yo socialise, work etc?

You know them, you’re happy they are both sensible and they have grandparents nearby.
when I was 16 my parents took my sister on holiday for 2 weeks, I don’t want to go. my aunt lived nearby and checked in on my every few days. I don’t feel like I was abandoned, house was still standing, if not particularly tidy when they got back. All I did was revise and play on my games console.

We left DS 17 (almost 18) home for two weeks last year for a cruise. I got nervous as it got near due to being at sea some days but we’d left him for 7 days before and had three sets of grandparents around for any help he needed. All was fine in the end.

We had a two week break earlier in the year and younger DD was going to stay home with DS again with lots of family round for support but in the end she went to a family member Mon - Fri and came home on the weekends but again all was completely fine.

It really does depend on your (and your husband’s) judgement, and the child. You know them best. Two of my children would have been absolutely fine being left at 15. They get themselves ready each day, do their own washing, cook, and keep their rooms today. One had a part time job at 15, and was quite self-sufficient. On the other hand, the eldest would have two weeks worth of plates and mugs piling up in their room and would be recycling pants.

@Skybluepinky Have you not read my other posts? If we take him, he will sit in a room do nothing the entire time and not eat. We tried that last year and it was a disaster. This was our chance to have a honeymoon because taking him with us would mean we may as well not go. It would not be a holiday as he cannot tolerate new places, food etc. His fine in his normal environment but NOT in another country.

They’ll be fine. So long as they get on ok it sounds absolutely fine and by far the best solution for your 15 Year old. You can’t all not holiday because he’s not comfortable.
Hope you have a fantastic time, relax and enjoy yourselves