To be super anxious at going on hols without teens.

[JustAnotherManicMomday]

We have 2 teen sons 15 and 18. Both will be staying home alone for the 2 weeks. Grandparents on both sides are no more than 10 minutes by car. Both will keep to themselves. Fridge and freezer full. No worrying about parties etc as they are not very social. In fact if I was home I would only really see them at meal times as spend their time gaming.

They will be checking in on them frequently and we will be calling daily. 2 week cruise as honeymoon due to marriage last year. Aibu to be filed with dread at leaving them that long. Previously done 3 nights with no issues. In the event of an emergency I will book a flight from nearest airport back home. DH thinks everything will be fine but I have been so anxious from when he booked it and now its almost here I'm just so unsure.

GPS will be on and out several times a day. They will be making sure they are eating, checking up on them, staying for a couple hours and if the boys feel they want them over night they will stay here or can stay with them. It's not like we have no backup plan and as I say, one phone call and I'm on the first flight home.

Ok. I honestly don’t know what you want from this thread, you’re clearly going ahead with your plan anyway. Why ask for opinions?

I wouldn't be leaving a 15-year-old for two weeks. Why on earth are you doing this? YABVU! Your shiny new husband is presumably not their father and it sounds like he doesn't give a shit. I wouldn't leave an 18-year-old home alone for that long, let alone a 15-year-old. If it was a weekend away, that would be one thing, but a 2-week holiday? Your poor kids

They will be fine - 15 does initially sound young but with your update re grandparents being around I can't see much of an issue. I am assuming if they decide to they can stay with Gps? You know them best and must have thought this was a reasonably plan to start with.

I never left my teens but mostly because I didn't trust middle child to not trash the house! 😂

I stopped going on holiday with my parents when I was 16, so from 17 when my older sister was at Uni they left me at home - I just saw as an opportunity to have my boyfriend round, never considered parties or anything.

Nope not the 15 year old.

I'm shocked you think thats ok. No way in hell would i do this. 2 weeks on a cruise is too long and too difficult to get back from.

My parents went away for a week (I think?) when we were that age. Grandmother lived nearby, I don't remember her checking in on us but we knew she was there and she drove. This was in the 1980's so no mobiles! I don't actually even remember my parents ringing us but they probably did once.

I would be fine with this because both sets of grandparents are nearby and popping in. And obviously you'll text the teenagers every day.

I would be okay with this. Enjoy the cruise!

It entirely depends on the individual kids. Mine are 15 and 18 and I wouldn't do it. The house would either burn down or be robbed because of unlocked doors... In your situation I would ask the GParents if they could share supervision - at least popping in every day if not actually staying over

I went to the Seychelles last year and left my 18 year old for 10 days. Had his adult sister checking in daily and also my best friend checking in each day too. I spoke to him every day as well via FaceTime. Filled the freezer and also did two remote food shops

I wouldn't leave an 18-year-old home alone for that long, let alone a 15-year-old. If it was a weekend away, that would be one thing, but a 2-week holiday?

GPS will be on and out several times a day. They will be making sure they are eating, checking up on them, staying for a couple hours

Good grief. The babying and coddling going on here.

Your poor kids

Jesus. I have no words.

You people do realise that an 18yo could be living entirely independently with no-one popping in or doing their shopping for them? If an 18 yo can't look after himself for two weeks with no outside intervention, something has gone badly wrong somewhere.

As to the 15yo, if both boys are happy, why not? A 15 yo should also be capable of looking after himself on a day to day basis, and gps are available in case of one of those Mumsnet emergencies that only strike when children are out of their parents' sight.

My parents left my the summer I turned 18 for 2 weeks. I had to stay home for exams / resits. I was fine and would have been fine looking after a younger sibling if needed (I didn't as he went on holiday as didn't have exams). We didn't have GP near by just family friends and neighbours.

I was a very sensible 17/18 year old though as I'd spent the last year stepping up as my dad had been very ill (cancer). Cooking and cleaning etc. Looking after my younger sibling when needed - including some late night/overnights.

edit to add - I worked around my exams anyway so wasn't home all day. And my parents arranged a food delivery for mid way though them being away - although I could pick things up from the shop on the way home from work.

I'm surprised at these responses, not sure why though as MN is notoriously full of over protective parents.

As long as both boys are fine with it I don't see the problem. GPs nearby.

God the eldest is 18! Aren't most at uni by that age, and 15 isn't that young ... most go off to festivals etc a year later. It's a great opportunity to fend for themselves for a while and run the home. They'll be grand.

I have 18 and 15 year old girls. My 18 year old would be fine, but some disaster would befall my scatty youngest. So this isn’t something I would do. Sorry OP! Hope you find a way around it and have a great time.

Theyll be fine.

As you’ve said, there are two sets of Grandparebts on hand and very close.

You’ll be in contact every day and to be honest they’ll probably enjoy the peace and quiet and just slobbing around!

As long as you trust your 18 year old to be the responsible adult and for the 15 year old to not be a dick about things then they will be absolutely fine! It's a lovely thing to be able to trust them.

@cheezncrackers FYI MY SO CALLED SHINY NEW HUSSBAND IS THEIR FATHER.

It took us years to get round to marriage due to finances and putting the kids needs first.

In regards to why are they not coming its cost 4k already and last year we went to Turkey. 15 year old spent whole week in hotel room and would not eat anything. His safer at home is that he will eat and do more.

Did you misread the op and think they’re toddlers?

What a ridiculous post!

You don’t need to defend yourself about why you’re having a holiday together alone. You don’t stop being a couple just because you have children and being able to holiday alone is a great luxury and privilege that you should take advantage of.

It's an almost-adult with an actual adult.

The amount of babying on here is insane.

Might they make bad choices/argue with each other - sure, part of being a teen.
Is it unsafe? Highly unlikely.

Should they, by these ages, have been brought up such that they are adequately aware, resilient and able to cope with 99% of events that might occur? Yes, and they most likely massively are able, and the typical parental anxiety is a function of how overprotective society is rather than any lack of competence in the teens.

No I wouldn't do it and I do have an 18yo DS and almost 15yo DS too. Just stuff like would they remember to lock front door at night etc. They probably wouldn't.

I’m usually the one on these threads saying no don’t do it, but I thought this sounded fine from your opening post. I must be going soft.

These comments alarm me. One is an adult. One is almost an adult and in many cultures or in recent times in our own, would be considered an adult, capable of going out to work etc. I honestly think it is fine, if they don't have SEN. Double check that grandparents are around and can be with them in a crisis. Maybe organise a sleep over with a friend for a night or two for the youngest one, or ask grandparents to invite them over for Sunday lunch and to spend the night, or grandparents come and stay over a couple of times, to check how they are.

But if they have no SEN or MH issues, I can't see why not. If it's in the summer holidays, maybe set them a simple project each to swim every day and increase their total lengths or speed, or similar in running or cycling or weightlifting if they belong to a gym.

We really need to stop treating this generation as if they are utterly incapable. Learned hopelessness is a real issue these days. A lot of very resilient teens are allowed increasing time on their own to cope, and to learn to trust themselves to handle small incidents.

Chat with them. Make sure they have plenty of easy to cook food and money for take outs. Put your and your grandparents telephone numbers in several prominent places. leave spare keys with two or three neighbours and the parents of their closest friends.

All will be well. Enjoy your holiday.

Spend all their time besides meals gaming...and you allow this?

I would let them try on their own and if 15yr old is not happy have grandparents on standby.

For those clutching their pearls please let your children take chances and grown up. The lack of problem solving and grit in 15-18 year olds is shocking.

My one and only concern would be that they will spend the entire time just gaming and not eating properly or socialising with anyone. I would probably put some kind of condition in that they have to leave the house for at least an hour a day. No idea how to monitor that though.