“Most employers won’t let you WFH and look after children”

[choochoowah]

Is this actually the case? I know some must have this policy but my husbands certainly doesn’t: they don’t know or care what he does in the day as long as the work gets done (he works from home twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays.)

WFH isn’t an option in my job so I don’t know. I’m just wondering how common this is as an actual policy.

OP, I think your DH’s situation is really unusual. Maybe because he is part-time (or at home part-time). Does he do something where he doesn’t receive calls or have meetings?

OP, I think your DH’s situation is really unusual. Maybe because he is part-time (or at home part-time). Does he do something where he doesn’t receive calls or have meetings?

It really depends what you mean by "work". If your job involves lots of autonomous work with spreadsheets or databases, or other work which doesn't involve attending zoom meetings, taking phone calls or similar then it might work.

I have worked in this way for 20 years, self-employed rather than employed, but all communication is by email, the client says "I need X done by Friday 3pm" and they don't care how my time is managed as long as the job gets done. But that is not the norm, most people have online meetings and have to talk to colleagues about issues. Nobody wants you cutting short a zoom presentation to change a baby's nappy or get your toddler a snack.

I have remote workers that are not customer facing.
Once kids are school age I care not as long as the work gets done.

I think it does depend on the job a bit.

In a job where you have a specific workload needing to be achieved to a specific standard, and your terms of employment are such that they don't care if this takes you 25 hours per week or 50, and don't care when you do the work or when you are available for meetings, then yes it would be fine to combine such a job with childcare.

Most jobs aren't like that.

The only way they would know is if you told them.

Where I work (not for profit/charity) nobody gives a shit what you are doing so long as your work gets done.

I regularly attend TEAMS meetings with senior managers to entry level staff with babies/toddlers on their knees. It is commonplace to have time booked out of diaries for school runs/sports days/plays etc.

Staff are valued for the contribution they make and it’s a happy and productive workplace.

My ex employer allowed us to wfh way before covid - like 1990s. We could also work in any of our offices worldwide! Yes great IT strategy and foresight.

What did their policyvsay - as long as the work is done there is no issue. I understood that to mean that if I took an hour off with the kids, I make up the time just like you do with medical appointments.

Now obvs mine was an office job where I had projects to manage, so I wasn't on a call centre or anything.

I dont know what covid rules apply now but today I went to the hospital and made up my 1.5 hours away - Im self employed now so I work a set number of hours a day with a preference for 8.30-4.30pm but its not fixed cos Im self employed.

There is now case law on this - are woman was sacked for not doing her job - she logged in and made only 1 or 2 keystrokes all dau everyday. It went to tribunal. She came up with some baloney over it. The tribunal found against her. Anyways if your DH is working when he's at home, he's OK. If not he could get sacked and it'd stick.

It’s crazy isn’t it

now it’s being said it’s ok when they are sick!

Ours certainly won’t let you! We had a colleague who has just left that we suspected was looking after child whilst supposed to be working but no one could find out. Everyone was relieved when she left.

@choochoowah oh dear!! I wonder how working mothers managed before covid???? no one can work properly if half their attention is on the kids needs! school pick up, washing machine on/off, holidays, sickness¬ Also, many jobs cannot be done from home, even some office jobs!!!

Expected here, you are meant to be able to take a call at any moment during your working hours in my place and our work is audited so it would be obvious if you were distracted from your work for more time than a toilet/screen/coffee break. That said we do work flexi so as long as you have arranged with the manager your hours could be 4am - 12 for example (if children were in childcare only half a day) or alternatively done in the evening.

What about younger kids or kids with SEN who may need extra supervision even if they are older?

My place of work has no restrictions on this (charity). I think it depends on the personality of the DC- I couldn’t have worked from home when my oldest was small but could have probably managed with my youngest. Youngest was in Y4 and older dc in secondary when I started to WFH and at those ages there were no issues

I wfh since the lockdown when dd was 6. No issue, her old siblings were teens so they helped out.

So if a child has a serious accident , or worse, during your working hours who will be taking the blame?

employer?

Its going to depend on the job and the child to whether its suitable. A child who is likely to be hyperactive, in a small house, with time sensitive work is a completely different scenario to someone working with spreadsheets who can just do an extra hour in the evening if necessary and a child who needs downtime after school.

My bottom line... is this situation working for the child? Are they happy with their needs met?

(I used to go to my mums office on Inset days, odd bits of school holidays, when I broke my arm etc... she was a civil servant. 90s equivalent really!)

Sane here - large public body.
The first line of our WFH policy is "WFH is not a substitute for childcare, for children under secondary school age".

Many people tried it coming out of lockdown. It didn't do the parents, children or business any good at all.

It depends on the age of the children and how much of the day. Kids coming home from school while you finish up your work day, probably fine. Occasionally day with the child of any age home sick, also fine. Regularly working while also watching a child 5 or under, no.

He isn’t part time @NicolaCasanova , sorry if I’ve not been very clear. He works from home Mondays and Fridays and Tuesdays to Thursdays is either in the office or visiting clients.

He does have meetings but DS does know not to interrupt. He absolutely didn’t when younger and I hated it when DH worked from home then, to the point I changed my working hours after my second maternity leave. Now it’s finally advantageous.

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld DH has always done some wfh.

School pick up is smack bang in the middle of the afternoon - that’s prime work time. I now schedule some meetings at 3pm precisely because I was fed up with the school pick up exodus.

There's clearly a difference in having a toddler not in childcare and older children being at home watching tv or playing tablet for a couple hours after school while parents finish working.

That being said employers pay for employees time and expertise not unreasonable for them to expect you to be doing your job to the fullest during that time.

Our hybrid policy says wfh isn't a substitute for childcare But holiday clubs often are 8.45-3.30/4pm so inevitably its going to happen more in holidays.

We've recently had small children brought into the office - mum's during KIT days and dad's when mum has-been on kit days and when told that they need to leave challenge where it's written down that they can't do it- staggering

I think it is a grey area - big difference between a full day of childcare for a 2yo, and two hours after school for a 10yo. So, I think a lot of employer do trust people to use their judgement.

Personally, I would not rely on it as part of my routine. However, my employer would have no problem with me doing unpaid overtime in evenings and weekends while in charge of my children - so I don't see a problem doing it odd hours here and there.

I did actually go to work with both parents during school INSET days (they were also teachers) my brother and I were plonked in the staff room with a colouring book! I doubt you’d get away with it now!

Mine is 10 and we both WFH full time. Where we live there is next no holiday childcare available, it's just not a thing - a few week-long summer scheme things running from 10-12 but that's about it. Childminders are hard to come by and ones for holiday cover only are non existent. If we needed holiday childcare we'd be screwed. I honestly have no idea what people with 9-5 jobs do. Most people I know either find jobs in schools, do something with weekend or evening shifts, depend on grandparents, or just can't make it work so the mum stays home till kids are in secondary.

We have had no childcare since my daughter was about 8, but she is very mature for her age and incredibly self sufficient, can cook simple things etc. We live on a safe estate full of similarly aged kids where they all play out and we can watch from the window. Work are aware and have no issue, but we couldn't have done this when she was younger. Where we used to live was very well served for holiday clubs so it was never a problem.