Food Not ready

[Fatcrab]

At 12.40pm Told OH id be back from chemo at 1.15pm and they asked if I wanted food to which i said yes a patty & a smoothie.

For context I cook all lunches & dinners (better cook & i enjoy it) and I only really ask for a day off when Im super busy or ill etc.

Anyway I get in at 1.23 and have literally 7mins to shovel down the food before a 1.30pm meeting. Patty isnt cooked its frozen in the middle which I spat out. Im annoyed, Im tired, im hungry I just needed something to eat in the little gap. Im having to have a blood transfusion tomorrow due to all the chemo.....is it too much to ask for your partner to get it together when you are going through it...I dont think its good enough....given how how much I do, i serve food all the time and if i know theres a rush or small window i get it ready. 😭😡

We'e had a row. Ugh I should have just got a takeaway

I don't think being sick or disabled is an excuse to behave like a brat tbh

You made a very rigid demand - have you never served a meal a few minutes late?!

You should have rescheduled the meeting or got a sandwich or got DH to serve you the 'patty' during the meeting.

My DH had cancer treatment including chemo & radiotherapy & managed not to behave like a knob. If he has behaved like you with demands of feed down to the minute I would have told him where to go & he'd have gone without his 'patty' or served it half cooked like you.

I think you owe him an apology & have a think about your behaviour.

I see we have a new annoying trend on MN. As well as hiding children's genders (referring to them as "DC" and "they"), we're now also hiding partner's genders as well 🙄

I'm glad you and DH made peace with each other. It's tough on both of you, although of course it's rougher on you. We were lucky that the Cancer Centre where DH was treated works on a 'whole life' basis, so there was education, counseling, and support available for the whole family, not just him.

DH is doing great. He had a type of cancer that has an 85% 'cure' rate. He 'tested' cancer free at 6 months post treatment. We're working on year 4, he gets checked again in November.

He had chemo and radiation and the radiation killed off most of his sense of taste and as a result he has very little appetite. We were warned that his sense of taste might be affected permanently so were prepared for it. He estimates that he has maybe 30% sense of taste and that some things he loved before either taste like nothing, shit, or cardboard (take your pick lol). But he's alive and says it was a small price to pay. Plus he jokes that he's never had weight problem since.

Why are you annoyed that people choose to refer to their children as DC? Start a thread and I bet most people will get annoyed with you.

The whole site is anonymous by virtue of selecting a username.🤣🙄

Perhaps YOU were a supportive partner and didn't serve him raw food!
Stop being so horrible.

Serving improperly cooked meat to someone on chemo is a tad careless...

You are so near the end of chemo! FWIW this was the point when everything sort of hit for me… all of the side effects just got worse. Like you (from your description) most of chemo was relatively mild for me except for the last month (2 cycles) and my tolerance for life’s annoyances was pretty non existent.

Hang in there and have a moan (actually feel free to have a full on temper tantrum). I would limit myself but did not feel bad about having a full on whiney night. (You should have seen me the night that the gas from broccoli my DH made for me for dinner almost killed me…I damn near turned into a 3 yo.)

Just get through it any way you can.

Why liberally say your partner is a woman on your other threads but not on this one?

is it because you quite liked the assumption that this is a man we’re saying is a bit useless?

Is this a one off, OP, or are they usually this shit and incapable?

Any cake? Would a Victoria sponge do?

What a silly post - there's obviously more than one type of patty.

OP your feelings are very understandable.

The reality is that the appointment overrunning and butting up against the work meeting created a small window where it was very easy for your partner to cock it up. It's easy for cooking timings to slide, and not quite follow the timings that you'd expect.

It's interesting to see that nearly all the other posters assume that the partner is male and that they are married.

Well not really

given balance of probabilities it is a very reasonable presumption that a heterosexual relationship

It transpires, it is not

That's true, but when someone's being conspicuously coy about the partner's sex, like OP was, it sticks out like a sore thumb so I immediately question it. Therefore I assume they are in a same sex relationship.

Edited to remove element of doubt.

I don’t really notice stuff like that! 😆

but this op is very open about same sex relationship on other threads. I reckon just happy for the discussion to be about shitty men rather than women.

Yeah, it is odd.

Yanbu but whoever dictated that you should have a 15 min gap between getting home from Chemo and having a meeting start was vvvvv unreasonable even if that was you. Yes you should be looked after, but that needs to happen via managing the size of the load too.

I don’t think you are moaning and I think that’s absolutely rubbish.

My DH is having cancer treatment and it’s not difficult to have something tasty and nutritious ready for a certain window.

He would do exactly the same for me.

YANBU.