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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Looking after baby while knackered

52 replies

BothVeryTired · 10/07/2025 13:02

Me and my partner are both very tired with a seven month old who wakes all night. I get a bit less sleep but am also more functional on low sleep, he is on medication that makes him sleepier as well. I could really do with some time in the day to rest and/or work. However my partner is literally falling asleep where he sits in about ten seconds of sitting down. He says that he is fine to look after baby as long as they get out of the house. This is something that makes me nervous but have been trying to trust his judgement on it. On the other hand I’ve more than once seen him judge mistakenly whether or not he can stay awake, including when he said he was fine to supervise a contact nap for me and baby in newborn days.

Today I have said that in this very hot weather and with him even tireder than usual I don’t feel comfortable with him taking the baby out at noon, although he says he can be mostly in shade and will definitely stay awake. I am just looking after the baby right through as can’t feel comfortable with that.

For context I work one day a week from home, spread across the whole week. He works part time four evenings a week. I do night wakes, he often does first morning shift (which i’m not feeling that sure about but would otherwise be on less than 4 hrs sleep right now, and then I won’t be safe).

Added context to avoid a dripfeed- He has more downtime (i.e. any at all), including playing computer games after work, which I think would be fair enough for an hour but it’s three or more this week so then of course he’s nodding off all day.

AIBU to not want him taking the baby out at midday in a heatwave while he can’t keep his eyes open?

OP posts:
BothVeryTired · 11/07/2025 18:00

MellowPinkDeer · 11/07/2025 11:29

I actually mean that no one in this house has a routine!

it sounds like that they only work briefly and spend the rest of the time doing meaningless things.

no where did I suggest the baby should be left!

Don’t know where you’re reading that in my post. Obviously i’m complaining about the fact that my partner is doing about 5hrs a day of something meaningless at the expense of sleep. But i have no downtime at all, am either feeding, playing with, trying to get to sleep or otherwise caring for the baby, sleeping or working, and he is out of the house for work 8-9 hrs. Although from your tone I guess you’re just looking to make me feel shit or have a pointless argument so responding is probably pointless.

@PensionedCruiser thanks for what you added, some people obviously have easy or no babies!

OP posts:
BothVeryTired · 11/07/2025 18:00

MellowPinkDeer · 11/07/2025 11:29

I actually mean that no one in this house has a routine!

it sounds like that they only work briefly and spend the rest of the time doing meaningless things.

no where did I suggest the baby should be left!

Don’t know where you’re reading that in my post. Obviously i’m complaining about the fact that my partner is doing about 5hrs a day of something meaningless at the expense of sleep. But i have no downtime at all, am either feeding, playing with, trying to get to sleep or otherwise caring for the baby, sleeping or working, and he is out of the house for work 8-9 hrs. Although from your tone I guess you’re just looking to make me feel shit or have a pointless argument so responding is probably pointless.

@PensionedCruiser thanks for what you added, some people obviously have easy or no babies!

OP posts:
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