Going on holiday and feeling fat

[Lauxx1]

I’m going on a hot sunny holiday abroad next week and I should be excited and looking forward to it and instead I’m anxious and stressed about the fact I haven’t been able to lose much weight for it. I’ve lost a stone and a half since January but I’m still 12 stone which is still a good stone over weight. The last time I had a holiday like this I was 11 stone and even then I didn’t feel comfortable in my bikini. Now I’m a whole stone heavier than I was then and I’m just dreading getting my body out. I know there’ll be people of all shapes and sizes but I can’t help but feel like I want to hide away. I feel like such a failure that I haven’t been able to lose the weight and tone up :( helpful and kind responses welcome xx

5ft 6 and 12 stone is not big!
I am considerably shorter and heavier.
i understand your feelings, but believe me no one cares what you look like in a costume, swim dress or bikini! Only you.

you will not be a sight people write home about!

just enjoy your holiday!!

& if you’re trying to avoid drawing attention to yourself, I’d avoid swim dresses, because I’ve done double takes at those in the past wondering why there’s so much fabric in the water and are people fully clothed!
id not notice a bikini or a swimming costume.
… just my person reaction.
I also wouldn’t be judging your body having a second glance, just checking you hadn’t fallen in & in difficulty!!

Buy a different swimsuit and enjoy your holiday.

You don't need to wear a bikini if you're going to worry about your belly.

Buy a different swimsuit and enjoy your holiday.

You don't need to wear a bikini if you're going to worry about your belly.

Imagine your best friend had said all this to you. You'd tell her how well she had done to lose a stone and a half, how much healthier she was, how great she looked, how her insides mattered more than her outsides, how she should have an amazing time and give no shits what people thought about her arse anyway.
Be your own best friend, don't give all that love and kindness to someone else, give it to yourself.
A) nobody cares, and you'll never see these people again
B) there's so much flattering swimwear around with various ways to cover bits up or suck bits in - take yourself shopping, buy things that fit and make you feel good (loads of mid sized influencers you can follow like styling with Rebecca who will show you what that shape/size looks like in holiday clothes)
C) 12 stone is not that big, nobody is creating a documentary about the size 14 woman going to the beach because its very very average and normal and boring and nobody wants to watch that - ergo nobody will be looking or judging at all
D) pat yourself on the back for what you've achieved so far, you're not 13 and a half stone anymore, enjoy your slimmer body and feel proud, not ashamed of your progress
E) have a nice time, sunbathe, eat, drink and be merry!

Exactly this. Honestly, no one will be caring about what you like - just about themselves. Enjoy the holiday and don’t let it bring you down x

Do you have a good selection of appropriateclothes in good condition that fit you properly?

that’s my main tip. I feel fat if I’m wearing clothes that are a smidge too small. As soon as I size up everything looks better so I feel better!!

Even a quick supermarket sweep for crisp new t shirts / vests / linen shorts would make the world of difference

Enjoy your holiday and make memories. It makes not a jot of difference what weight you are. No one will be looking or judging. X

Thanks again for your kind words and great advice! I’m going to see if I can pick up a few more items of clothing that will be a bit more roomy rather than trying to fit in my old stuff. Maybe they’ll fit next year!
Ps, I carry most of my weight around my bum and thighs, and around my midriff nowadays whereas I used to always have a small waist and flat tummy which I miss. I have three kids. 2 older and one young. It was after my third child that my body really changed and my tummy decided to pop out and never go away! I’ll try to embrace it all and love myself anyway. I need to be more kind to myself like I would a friend or anyone else! X

I felt like this going on holiday too. I bought a swimdress and felt fabulous in it. Not worn a bikini in years and even though I have lost a bundle of weight, I'd still not be comfortable in one.

People won’t care honestly. The only thing I really notice is when people look sad, wthidrawn and self conscious. People look fantastic when they’re laughing and smiling ans having a great time.
the only advice I have that makes a difference looks wise is wear clothes that fit - soooooo important - and tanned skin looks better on larger sizes so consider a spray tan/home tan whatever. But only if you want to x

OP - I can assure you that 95% of the women on holiday have some kind of issue with their body and things they would change. Years of magazines with ‘circle of shame’ features tearing apart celebrities for having a few dimples on their thighs or a half inch of skin sticking over the top of their bikini bottoms have destroyed women’s confidence. That and social media with carefully selected pictures shared - you never see those photos that didn’t make the cut.
You are absolutely not a failure! Your body is just that - a body. Maybe treat yourself to a few new bikinis or swimming costumes. But please don’t think you are less of a person because you look a certain way.

There are people of all shapes and sizes in bikinis where I am currently. No one bats an eyelid. I've embraced bikinis with high waisted bottoms the last few years despite never being as slim as I would like. In fact, I'm bigger now than quite a few years ago when I would only wear tankinis and most of the time I would refuse to take my shorts off too. You just have to sort of push past it to realise it's okay.