Newborn baby and little to no support from partner

[Jess13224]

was unsure what to post this under but I really don't feel I'm being unreasonable.

My newborn is 12 days old and I'm getting little to no support or help from my partner of over 8 years.

Firstly I want to start out by saying i had a difficult labour and ended up having a episiotomy which has become infected.

I am exclusively breast feeding so I understand childcare and feeding is and should be mostly my responsibility. However my partner is doing practically nothing around the house to help out. We came home from hospital the same day as the birth and all he is doing around the house is washing up every 2-3 days (letting it pile up) and cooking frozen food from the freezer such as pizza.

He has taken 2 weeks off of work to 'bond' with his daughter however he only ever holds her when she is fussing and I need the toilet which is less than a total of 40 minutes a day. He is using these 2 weeks to play video games for over 10 hours each day which he sees as fine because the baby is "just sleeping and eating". I will say the last 5 days she has been very good at settling in her crib at night after her feed and nappy change but my sleep is still broken and reduced to 5 hours a day / night. His sleep is messed up because he will stay on his PC until 3-5am.

I have tried telling him I'm annoyed and feel he does nothing to help me with baby or do anything around the house and this is met with him thinking I'm being unreasonable as he "does the washing up and cook". I make him change 1 nappy a day (never on his own intuition) once again so I can go toilet.

I just feel if he can spend 10+ hours a day playing games and have 7-8 hours of undisturbed sleep then there is 0 reason why the house can't be clean but I have still had to hoover, take bins out and do laundry on top of caring for a newborn who feeds every 2 hours and cannot be put down during the day for anything longer than 15-30 minutes. I have also made dinner a couple of nights for us both.

I do feel I'm coping well with motherhood and caring for her but i don't understand how he has time to play video games all day long and I barley have time to shower or eat. I explained to him once he returns to work (6am-6pm) he will need to help with holding her and changing her if he wants me to make home cooked meals after work or so I can have a shower. He then told me I'm using the baby as a excuse for being lazy and that he can't do any of this after work as he will be tired.

Sorry for the rant.

I wish I could give you more positivity during this time but I’m not holding out a great deal of hope going on everything you’ve said. My ex was awful during the pregnancy and after. He still calls me lazy even though I do nearly all childcare and organise every detail of our children’s lives - and work.

One thing my ex couldn’t take from me was the enjoyment of my beautiful baby. He walked out on us after 2 weeks but I thrived. I loved being a mum and I was overjoyed with my little baby boy. I didn’t let any of the nasty manipulating behaviour affect me. I wouldn’t let him take it away from me. I still feel happy when I look back at the time and think about the excitement of finally being a mum. Don’t let him spoil this magical time in your life.

He is using these 2 weeks to play video games for over 10 hours each day which he sees as fine because the baby is "just sleeping and eating"

This is utterly revolting.

Why am I not surprised this useless manchild cunt is a gamer? Pathetic. Just, pathetic.

What a vile excuses for a man and father. I was in this exact same position although a lot more to it and I ended up leaving and becoming a single mom before my baby was even 1, most amazing thing I could have ever done