Scruffy jeans at new job - does it matter?

[ScruffyTrouserMindFlip]

My OH has just started a new job (this was his 3rd day). It's for a night manager at Tesco on £37k. Today he was not customer facing - just doing paperwork etc and training. They said he should wear jeans.

The thing is, the jeans he wore were, imo, really scruffy. Also, I think that looking smart does matter, especially in a managerial role, and especially when you are new.

However, he says I don't know what I'm on about, because I have an office job and it's different. Also that no-one said anything to him about his appearance, and they would have done, if it were an issue.

It makes me feel like I'm mad, that to me it's so obvious that you don't go into work looking like that, but another person can be equally gobsmacked that anyone would think it mattered at sll! I would be more than happy to hear that I'm wrong. Just need some honest, unbiased views!

YABU - The jeans are fine / no-one will think twice.

YANBU - Employers do still care about this sort of thing

They are not OPs jeans to bin.

Those jeans aren’t that bad but he does need a new pair for work

For me it’s a matter of personal pride and how I like to project myself. I would never wear anything g ripped, stained or well worn to work. I work in education and it surprises me how scruffy some teachers are.

My ex husband tried to go to a job interview with baggy jeans with holes in them and a band t-shirt. I made him get changed, he got the job but he couldn’t see anything wrong with what he was wearing before. He was very strange

WTF 😭

It's uni open day today. I've been involved with it for years. People are the most casual dressed I've ever seen them. It must be the heat, although - frankly - gym knicker style shorts and running bra crop are not really cool for traipsing round the campus. I wouldn't expect people to dress up, but I don't think beach or sunbathing wear is sensible.

They’re pretty scruffy! But I do think for a training session having specifically been told jeans are ok they’re fine, and nothing to worry about OP. As long as he dresses more smartly for customer-facing work and when actively managing other staff etc.

I’m a GP and have definitely seen dress codes relax an LOT over time. And although at my current workplace our dress code is very relaxed, there are certain things I personally would never wear to “work” including jeans (also casual T shirts, shorts, backless tops, short skirts, low cut tops, super clingy bodycon type stuff etc!). However we do sometimes have closed training sessions etc. and for those I would be fine wearing jeans etc. (personally wouldn’t wear such a scruffy pair but that’s personal choice lol). If there is an element of networking etc then I’d probably dress more smart-casual even for that but not for an in-house training session (as I’m not the boss just an employee, otherwise I might feel differently), or big national anonymous type training situation.

Jesus, imagine this the other way around: “My new job asked me to wear jeans for a training day – not customer-facing, just training and paperwork. With small kids, cost of living and having a precarious job history, I didn’t think it was worth investing in new jeans since I wouldn’t be wearing them for future shifts, so I just wore my usual pair. My partner has taken multiple photos including close-ups and posted them on a forum asking people to vote on the issue. AIBU or is that a bit controlling?” We’d all be using so many 🚩 it would cause an emoji shortage.

To be fair those jeans should be for gardeni g and diy only having seen all the photos.

They're dirty! Definitely inappropriate for work.

Just get a new pair and tell him you’ll manage this for him. He doesn’t see it, you do so I’m sure he won’t mind.

Yes. Red ones too. In an office.

How short is your husband?

Also, for £37k a year they are obviously not expecting much. They should pay their employees better. That amount of money for night shift should be criminal.

He could get a new pair from the store surely. These ones are very scruffy and Id wash them even before I used them to do the garden. No not suitable for work of any kind.

Of course it matters. Tell your husband to have some pride in himself. Scruffy bugger. How is he expected to command respect when he doesn't respect the job?

I work at Tesco myself and since we’ve had the new uniforms the dress code has been relaxed a bit, normal staff wear jeans now along with the Tesco polo shirt. Night shift are usually more relaxed because there’s no customers, I love covering a night shift duty manager when they are on annual leave because it’s a totally different experience. I have ADHD and it’s never held me back in the workplace, as long as he doesn’t let the staff take the piss (believe me they will because he’s new) and remembers he’s in charge and accountable for the standards in store he’ll be okay.

Those jeans are awful - scruffy and dirty. Not a good look for anyone in any work situation and definitely not to be worn anywhere except for cleaning the car or gardening.

I actually don’t think they’re bad at all

Really, the appear to be covered in dirt, I'd be embarrassed if my partner went to a job dressed like that

He'll get a uniform soon enough. I work nightshifts in a supermarket (not Tesco), our uniform is different to the dayshift as there's a lot of being on your knees(!), breaking down the cages it's not unusual to get hit by an exploding yoghurt etc. I come out of work looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards.

New starters are told not to wear anything nice, jeans are fine and comfortable trainers are highly recommended.

Our nightshift managers dress the same as us as they're on the floor or dealing with deliveries etc all night too.

those Need binning by you.
He will dig his heels in if you suggest he bins them - then it will be a massive issue.
(he sounds like an ex of mine).
once they’re gone they’re gone.

He is an adult. You don’t get to bin other people’s clothes because you don’t approve of them.

I've quietly disposed of a few particularly egregious (and old) items owned by my DH 😄 he's never noticed, and is anyway unable to tell the difference between nice clothes and horrible old rags.

I think those jeans would be ok after a good wash, they just look dirty to me

And here in lies the issue: to many of us they look like a perfectly normal, if slightly worn, pair of jeans which may even have been "pre distressed" because of the pattern and brought that way

To many others they look tatty, scruffy and only fit to be worn in private. Or binned

I hate the binned people most. Those jeans have tonnes of wear left in them, before even being consigned to "outdoor work wear". Binning them is an awful waste.