Scruffy jeans at new job - does it matter?

[ScruffyTrouserMindFlip]

My OH has just started a new job (this was his 3rd day). It's for a night manager at Tesco on £37k. Today he was not customer facing - just doing paperwork etc and training. They said he should wear jeans.

The thing is, the jeans he wore were, imo, really scruffy. Also, I think that looking smart does matter, especially in a managerial role, and especially when you are new.

However, he says I don't know what I'm on about, because I have an office job and it's different. Also that no-one said anything to him about his appearance, and they would have done, if it were an issue.

It makes me feel like I'm mad, that to me it's so obvious that you don't go into work looking like that, but another person can be equally gobsmacked that anyone would think it mattered at sll! I would be more than happy to hear that I'm wrong. Just need some honest, unbiased views!

YABU - The jeans are fine / no-one will think twice.

YANBU - Employers do still care about this sort of thing

I think they meant clean jeans, not dog walking jeans

They look dirty from the back. And if I was his boss I’d notice that and worry about his attitude to keeping the store clean, etc? And I wear ripped (clean) jeans to work so I have no issue with being a bit scruffy/casual. But not stained like that.

They actually look filthy to me like he's been wading through mud.

They're just a bit grubby at the bottom where they've trailed on the ground. I wouldn't notice that, I don't spend any time looking at the backs of anyone's ankles. I bet it's barely noticeable when he's wearing them.

Nope. They are dirty, not scruffy. Get him to give them a good clean and they'd be fine.

They look fine to me, he wasn’t customer facing that day and was literally told to wear jeans.

If as an adult my partner was not only telling me off like a child for my choice in clothes, but photographing them and putting them on the internet for a second opinion, I’d think they were bonkers.

I think you are overthinking this.

He could literally go out and spend hundreds on a pair of jeans that look exactly like this. I have VP’s of my not overly casual company wear similar.

Kindly, get off his back and let him navigate his job as he sees fit.

Here you go:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exactly

They aren't dirty or scruffy. They are worn because he walks on the backs. You wouldn't even see that because it would be under his shoes

I raise you

https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/balenciaga/clothing/straight-jeans/super-destroyed-wide-leg-jeans

How on earth, and why on earth, would people walk with jeans under their shoes? Sounds both impractical and utterly filthy..

When I've done it it's because I've not realised how long they are first time wearing them. Perils of short legs like OP says her husband has. They drag on the ground and get a bit worn and dirty at the bottoms. It's quite easily done.

can't help but feel that it can't hurt his chances of keeping a job / being taken on permanently, to look smart though. But maybe it is irrelevant.

gently, this really isn’t a hill to die on and I think you are projecting your fears about his future and propensity to get fired into a pair of jeans. Relax. Let him find his feet in his own way.

I really wish I could have you visit some of our buildings and let you see the range of things people wear. Nowadays it’s all about bringing your whole self to work rather than dressing to impress. No one cares about how you look. It’s what you do that matters.

if you want to get involved try asking him what he has noticed and to grasp any opportunities than come around. If he can get on the ladder and has what it takes, a management career in a big supermarket can be very rewarding.

way more so than as a primary teacher. Good luck.

They are scruffy, put them in the recycling bin.

They just look like jeans.

If he is happy with what he wore and no one has raised any concerns, why are you posting photos of your DH's jeans on the internet?

Your behaviour is very strange IMHO

Eh? They are a bit. Look at the knees.

I think things have changed a lot now. For what it’s worth I’m with you op, I’m quite old school and I wouldn’t dream of wearing those. I used to work in marketing / account manager type corporate roles and image was really important- this was in the early 2000s (I haven’t worked for some years now due to health issues). I used to wear smart suits, fancy shoes etc etc. Even for a casual day I’d make sure my jeans were new ish, smart and fitted well. Most of all things had to be spotlessly clean. That doesn’t seem to be such a thing anymore- the people and their clothes!

My dh works in an office, as an account manager type role and my god he looks such a casual mess 🙈 he literally wears jogging bottoms, crocs (I kid you not!) and t shirts. And he does not give a fuck. No one else he works with does either. I have to really restrain myself from saying anything because to me it’s just so not acceptable but it appears I don’t know what I’m talking about anymore!

.

Short legs

Stylistic choice.

It's not impractical nor "utterly filthy"

Worn, yes. Designed that way - probably. Scruffy? Still a no from me.

You would all be horrified at all of the jeans worn in corporate offices these days if these are seen as scruffy!

"I have so much money I don't care if I completely wreck my ridiculously overpriced designer jeans"

Crocs to work - Seriously ?

They aren’t great

No, I wouldn't be horrified because I'm aware that lots of offices are less formal nowadays.

I'm seen worse.