To be told I have a big forehead

[Queenofkittens]

Sounds hilarious, and I have often joked it is, but at the same time it isn't that bad. Think Ant mcpartlin but not as big. So bigger than average, but not something that you would see first when looking at me. Anyway, I was at work yesterday and the normally shy Indian nurse who barely says anything to me says out of nowhere, you have a big forehead. I just laughed and said oh thanks. Then she gestures to the wall of our staff photos and says 'and in that photo'. I said great thanks for that. I'm honestly hurt, and annoyed that she said it, even though it's never been an insecurity of mine I'm now thinking I should get a fringe cut! Tell me how to just let this go please as I really want to say something now, but she's not a horrible person, just....honest I guess?

I would complain about her in all honesty because if you said anything to mock her appearance I’m sure you would be dragged over hot coals.

I too have a high forehead, OP, and don't wear a fringe either.
If anyone comments, I say it accommodates my huge brain.

I think that was really rude and unkind of her to say so.
I have a massive forehead and am pretty self-conscious about it.
My Mum told me about 'Elizabethan foreheads' and how they signified nobility, but that was not very helpful, growing up as I did in the 1980s, not the 16th century!
💚

My sons have big foreheads,not that big that I thought anyone would notice.Showed an acquaintance a photo of them and she said “big foreheads!”,I was gobsmacked,didn’t say anything at the time.........but I will have her back when the opportunity arises.She is the first person to ever comment and these fellas are in their late forties.

Everyone who has botox has a big shiny forehead imo.😂,so you're not alone.
Some cultures just say as they see tbf

It doesn't matter whether you consider her to be a horrible person or not.

What she said was bloody rude and you should've told her there and then.

It's too late now really.

I know, I am very intelligent. Yours is quite narrow, isn´t it? But then, I´m not British...

I have a big one too, OP, and was teased relentlessly growing up for it! Now I think, who cares? Plenty of people have it and are classed as gorgeous so no need to be insecure...Rihanna, Lily Rose-Depp, Tyra Banks, Amber Valletta - it's not a bad thing whatsoever.

No one has ever mentioned it before because it honestly isn't that bad, but hers is quite small so on comparison mine probably does seem big! I do wonder if it's a culture thing to just say shit that you think...I wanted to say something back but I don't really possess that kind of nature I don't ever comment on people's appearances as it is so rude! But it's also wound me up I wish I had said something like and your gob is pretty big too...

I think it’s a different cultural approach, as Pp said, some just say as they see. I worked with a lovely man from Kerala and he had a habit of being, to my ears, a bit blunt , and it caused offence with colleagues.

I had to explain to him that our British reserve did not like such direct commentary on our appearance and considered such opinions rude, if not asked for.

I doubt your colleague meant to offend, but you are well within your rights to tell her that she has been rude.

BTW , my forehead/ head in general is quite large , but I am old enough not to care now.

Can guarantee that if you'd dared say a thing about her appearance you'd probably be in court by now.

Report.

I have no idea if this is a thing but I used to work with a Gurkha lady. Looking at photos of my youngest grandchild she said 'oh, he has a big forehead like me'. She said it is considered lucky in Nepal. How true that is I don't know, only have her word for it. If it applies to India I don't know. Just a thought.

I don’t think she was mocking you, she was just making an observation. She obviously hasn’t been brought up with the old adage that if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say it at all. She must be used to being very matter of fact about people. You could have made your feelings clear st the time. I don’t think it’s a complaint scenario. We’re too much complaint culture these days.

Indians don't have big foreheads so probably was just making an observation.

if you've never been bothered about your forehead or had anyone make fun of it growing up, I doubt she was being horrible intentionally

Incredibly bloody rude and I'd have told her so. I have a high forehead and I can't wear a fringe (my hair is too fine and just generally looks shit when I try) I had a lot of horrible comments, and a picture drawn in one case, whilst at school, and a lot of years later I'm still very self conscious of it. If anyone made a remark now they would receive a very short two word answer.

I seem to know a lot of people as an adult with extremely big noses, I would not DREAM of ever commenting on it to them or anyone else! Utterly dickish behaviour and a recipe for an HR disaster if you're at work!

Sign of a big brain 🧠😊

I spent years being self conscious about my high forehead. I once confided in a friend who said “I don’t think you’ve got a high forehead - it just protrudes a lot”! Fortunately I’m a lot more self assured these days!

This sounds exactly like something I’d say without thinking and then realise it’s inappropriate afterwards, it’s a curse.

A man recently showed me a picture of his two sons (around my age, adults) and I think I tried to hide my reaction but he still asked what was wrong with them. I declined to answer.

If you want to say something to her, then I would go with something like 'Yesterday, when you told me I had a big forehead were you trying to be helpful or hurtful?'...'I didn't really understand why you said it and realised that I found it quite hurtful'. In private, of course, and kindly.

Alternatively, use it to pre-plan a reply for when someone says something similar (about anything - any pointless slightly mean comment) that makes them think about why they said it and how it is likely received without playing tit for tat or laughing it off. Not responding at all and just looking at them slightly quizzically works quite well too.

Is she actually from India (not born in the UK)? I think a big forehead is seen as a sign of intelligence or good luck by some people in India so she may not have meant it as an insult.

Bit rude, but not worth getting too upset about.

Sounds like she needs to be reminded that it's really rude and 'othering' to pass comment on someone's physical appearance.

I’m from a family of people with big foreheads and spent my school years being called slaphead🫣 I was ginger too, you can imagine what fun school was😩

I don’t wear a fringe, I don’t care now but I wouldn’t want people to comment on it! I wouldn’t say anything though, I feel like I’d come across as petty even though it isn’t! Maybe people that don’t have large foreheads don’t understand!

We famously had a forehead measuring competition a few family Christmas’s ago. Can’t remember who won but lots of fun and great memories now we have lost a key member of our family♥️

I have a large forehead and don’t wear a fringe OP. It’s a sign of intelligence (or at least that’s what I was told once and tell myself 😂).

Is it possible she's Hindu? I think in Hinduism having a large forehead signifies intelligence and wisdom (happy to be corrected!).

Or she's just rude.