Is it cheeky to ask our carpenter friend for referral discount?

[outlanderish]

We've passed our carpenters details to quite a few people and we are the first people to really use him and spend lots of money with him (9k) since he's gone off on his own. He's a long term friend of mine... and I'm wondering if it would be cheeky to ask if we can get a referral discount if we keep recommending him to other people... he also doesn't really ever say thank you when I say I've passed his details on to other people, which annoys me.

Yes it would.

He maybe doesn't think too much of it because word of mouth is how the majority of tradespeople get work. It would be nice if the next time he did work for you he gave you a good deal, but I think a more formal referral discount (how are you thinking it would work?) would be a bit weird to negotiate with a friend.

Yes that's very cheeky. He deserves to get paid what his time is worth!

Please don't. I work freelance and 90% of my work is word of mouth recommendations from previous clients because I am good at what I do and take huge pride in it. If word got around that they got a referral fee or discount, new clients might be more mistrustful of the reasons for the referral

I refer good people all the time and rely on recommendations from friends too.

Yes.

If it bothers you that he doesn't thank you, you could always stop recommending him. It's really not like you're doing him an extra special favour since generally builders/tradesmen do most of their work on referrals/recommendations. Plus it doesn't cost you anything except literally one minute of time and effort so I'm really not sure why you think he should be reciprocate in financial terms??

Weird that you think you deserve a fee.

Yes.

Some people’s thought processes really do confuse me.

Surely wanting to profit from a friend is not normal?

Yes it’s cheeky. Trades are struggling so support them without asking for money off.

I am cringing at the mere thought of you doing this and have secondhand embarrassment for you for even asking this. Yes it's unreasonable.

Just don't refer him if you think he's not grovellingly thankful enough.

Don't be silly. If he wanted to give you a mates rates discount he would already be doing so.
You recommended him because he was good.

Do you know who of your friends used him, how much money they spent and whether they're fully satisfied? Just be happy you've got a decent tradesman.

Presumably you recommend him because he’s good and you want the people you recommend him to, who you know and like, to have good work done. Wanting to turn it into a money-making exercise for yourself is frankly weird; and expecting loads of profuse thanks is also a bit weird: he’s good at his job, he takes pride in his work, he probably has most of his customers telling him that they’ve recommended him.

It’s embarrassing that you’d even consider this. If he’s good he deserves to earn a decent living. And not have people sponging off him.
I refer plenty of people to friends in the trades. Because I know their work is good quality and promotion via word of mouth is normal. Never once thought I’d want someone back. That’s a very selfish way to live your life.

Your "benefit" will be that he'll be more likely to do further work for you as and when you need it and may be more accommodating if you ever need urgent smaller jobs doing. Asking for money is just grabby!

I think most good tradespeople get work from
word of mouth so you don’t get a discount. If it annoys you then just stop referring him

Yes. Very cheeky. Fgs.

Ugh this leaves a horrible taste in my mouth and does not paint you in a good light OP.

That would be CF behaviour.

Not just 'cheeky'. Crass.

If there was a referral discount it wouldn’t be until someone actually used him, after you suggested him. And that’s still a big if.

Yes it would be cheeky to ask.
If it's bugging you so much, then don't refer them.

If i’ve recommended trades it’s because I was pleased with their work and found them trustworthy and want my friends/colleagues to be able to use a decent workman, not risk shoddy work or getting ripped off. I don’t expect a ‘thank you’ or a kickback!
Totally CF territory.

Yes it is.

Yes it would, don't be a cock.

Has he asked you to refer him?

I always refer the best people (free!) because it benefits everyone. My friends get a reliable person - why wouldn't I want that for them??