BF's friends 'warning' him about me

[Shamed1719]

I feel embarrassed, shamed and don't think IABU but would be interested in hearing your POV's.

I grew up in a small town where everyone seems to know everyone else.

Regrettably, in my mid to late teens I had some meaningless ONS's / brief relationships. Not to excuse promiscuity but for context - I had a traumatic childhood and was looking for 'love' in the wrong places.

Fast forward to now I'm 34 and have connected with a nice man from my home town. Ironically, I've been celibate for years.

The problem is, when I was 16-18 I slept with two people he is friends with and one of them has 'warned him' to be careful with me because he doesn't want him to get hurt - I clearly have some reputation I wasn't aware of for sleeping around. I didn't even know my current guy back then.

It's making me second guess the relationship as they are quite close friends and he's always going to be about.

BF has been perfectly kind about it, insisted it doesn't change anything and told his friend he isn't interested in gossip, but I'm feeling shamed and humiliated.

What right (or sense) does he have judging me for deeds done when i was practically a kid? That he also did, I might add.

AIBU to think his friend is an absolute dick for doing that?

What is the 'something to know' that OP's new boyfriend needed warning about?

I wouldn't judge because you can sleep with whoever you like and if it happened at a time when I didn't know this person existed, then you can't really complain.

However, if I found out that my boyfriend had sex with two of my friends a few years ago before we knew each other, i'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that

I would feel extremely weird knowing that two of my female friends had also known my boyfriend that way. I don't know I wouldn't like it. But the boy friends friends are absolute pillocks, though. They should have said nothing about it. There's nothing to warn him about

Well woman warn other woman about men or try to so if a man acted like you did would this raise red flags for women or would it be perfectly normal behaviour?

Why are woman allowed to judge men but not the other way around?

This happened in my friendship group, but the other way round, as it was a woman warning another woman that her new boyfriend (I don't know him/know if he'd been through trauma) had slept with her when they were in sixth form and ghosted her afterwards.
If the person was genuinely hurt, and is also truly trying to look out for their friend, I don't think it makes them bad people. Some people are happy to have casual sex, others aren't-I wouldn't judge anyone, and for me I was never particularly bothered about serious relationships when I was that young, but some people (male or female) really do get upset, and some don't have any emotional support when things happen, so it can have a big impact.
Everyone's different, whether it's being ghosted, cheated on, or people saying things about you-we all react differently, and there's things many of us did or said when we were younger that we wouldn't any more. On thing that has changed is there's more support and counselling for trauma now.