Where do you put dc’s uni stuff

[coffeegirl73]

Am trying to be “zen” about dd’s stuff from uni which is currently all round the house as I attempt to find somewhere to put it. She doesn’t want it all piled up in her room so now there’s some in the sitting room , some in the bathroom downstairs, som on the stairs and a huge pile on the landing upstairs. I need to have a talk with myself about not letting it bother me. It does though - bother me! Am going to get some boxes tmw so it mite look more tidy - currently there are a lot of bags spilling over with her stuff . How does everyone else find space to store all the stuff x

Currently in her room, her sister's room, in the hallway, the living room, the dining room... aagh!

What did does she have at uni that she didn't have at home except maybe a small box of kitchen equipment?!

In her room. She can't store her stuff all over the house and stairs and landings need to be clear. She doesn't like it? She can get a storage unit.

Says the mom who is storing some boxes for eldest in the attic.

Her room has to be kept clear of stuff for her mental health 🙈

Erm do you have any dc at uni 🤣there’s a tv, theres
multiple bags of what she calls “miscellaneous”, there’s all her winter clothes that she won’t unpack as she says there’s no point, there’s all the bedding like duvets and sheets and pillows, there’s a big rug, there’s cleaning stuff and laundry stuff, loads basically

fairly large tupperware tote bins, used vacuum sealed bags AND also paid for a storage locker near campus. out of 3 kids who attended over a course of 7 years or so, good quality bins (no cardboard) and the shared storage locker worked the best. we also invested in good quality construction dollies. 3 kids each a year apart who attended 3 uni's/colleges in 3 different cities. it was a precision operation.

@coffeegirl73 i would take all the cleaning liquids mix them with the household supply and use them up (clean the spay bottles and refill prior to her return send her with fresh). for winter clothing and the bedding the vacuum seal bags are great (be aware they do get heavy despite being compact and puff up slightly over time). buy all the same brand of tote bins so that they stack properly.

No but I was a student at uni. The laundry stuff can be used, she would have clothes wherever she was living, books on the bookcase (extra piled in the bottom of the wardrobe if needed), I used to take one of my duvets with me usually winter because I went to uni in the north the other one on my bed at home and then vacuum bagged and put away when I got home. Bedding you would have anyway so it just goes wherever you keep your linens, airing cupboard at my parents' house. I just had 4 pillows rather than 2 on the bed (double) The plastic box of kitchen stuff was lidded and would go in the loft for the summer. The TV I just used in my room at home over the summer. I have no idea why she needs a rug as a student, but I did come home with a BBQ once but that went in the shed.

Well then, she better find somewhere to live where she can put all of this stuff

You say she's refusing to unpack her winter stuff. That suggests that there is unused wardrobe space available.

But it doesn't sound like you're motivated to actually deal with it in a sensible way so 🤷🏻‍♀️

i'm sure my mental health would benefit hugely from not being surrounded by stuff. But you know, I don't live in a mansion. I'm going to guess that she can't afford one either.

We hired a very small storage unit, you can get one perfect for students.

She needs to take responsibility for putting some stuff away you cant live like that til September. You cant have the entire house inconvenienced because she doesn't want to clear up.

Put it in her bedroom and offer to help organise it with her.

What about your mental health?!

To answer your question though, if it's just over the summer then in the spare room (we don't have any attic space), if it's at the end of uni, then it has to find a home otherwise it goes in the garage.

Well, the mental health of those who also have to live there need to be considered as well.

I have had several children at university-they brought very little home in the holidays/summer as it all went straight into the next year house.

I tried to move back home once and my mom told me I was always welcome, but she had no room for all my stuff. I put some in storage.
No one person gets to inconvenience an entire household.

Yes I talked about getting large boxes but there’s a lot of huffing and puffing. She doesn’t want to take them back to uni with her. She’s said she is going to clear out her room for the past 2 years - she has a lot of storage in her room but part of the problem is it’s full already . I don’t want to argue with her but at the same time the days are going by and she’s doing the same as what she did last year - procrastinating and ignoring. Then she ended up going back in a rush last year so it never got cleared.

If she would let me help her go through it I could probably halve what she has🤣eg 3 dead plants

Again, tough.

She doesn't get to inconvenience and endanger the whole household because she's got too much stuff. From what you say, she's got a whole household's worth of stuff spread out all over yours.

How's her sister's mental health having her stuff taking up her space?

She has 3 choices.

It goes in her room.

It goes into storage that she pays for.

It goes in the trash or gets donated.

My eldest asked me if I could store some boxes while she moved. If I didn't, she would have put them in storage. I do have a lot of empty attic space, so she put them up there. Her stuff isn't all over. And she helped me with some yard cleanup.

You're letting your daughter rule the roost.

Just read your update that her room is full. Is she starting to hoard?

I have 2 at uni. They have a small bit of kitchen stuff and then the clothes they usually have that goes back in their drawers! They didn't have separate bedding, they took their bedding. We are quite skint though so this is normal for us.

Oh the poor little princess!
Seriously she needs to grow up and figure out to manage her own crap without it impinging on everyone else in the house.

For MY mental health, DD’s stuff has migrated from the hall to her room and that’s where it stays! I’ve washed every piece of clothing and she’s either re boxed it, wearing it, sent it to charity or binned it!

I can’t look in her room right now. The miscellaneous stuff is overwhelming! Her stuff stay in her room, end of.

Solidarity OP.

so @coffeegirl73 how is she clearing her head if her room is in such a state as to have 3 dead plants?
i can understand not wanting a confrontation but it sounds like she needs help.
part of the "precise operation" meant zero tolerance, i would not be pandering to mess in other rooms beyond the first 24 hours.
can she be trusted to not have packed a damp facecloth or allowed the cleaning solvents to tip?

Sorry - but we've been here and she's going to have to suck it up, either in cardboard boxes which she can't see into, or plastic which she can, sort out her drawers etc - it cannot take over the whole house. No-one likes a clutter in their room which does affect our moods - so (apologies to everyone) if its a genuine MH issue then ditch stuff/store it elsewhere, or if its like most people then suck it up. With our Kids we knew where they were going/staying the next year and had to pay for it so the not needed stuff could go straight to the new house when the moved out of halls etc.

We have bags everywhere at the moment. We didn’t seem to buy that much extra stuff before DC went to university so you would think it should fit in the space it was in before, but it doesn’t and we obviously bought more than we thought we did!

Storage unit.

we’re slowly clearing my DD’s

Oh god we have loads of DS uni stuff in boxes and bags. No idea how he has so much stuff because he’s a minimalist but it has mushroomed somewhat from when he first went in Sept with barely anything to bags and boxes of stuff. Mainly kitchen clutter as he likes to cook and heavy books and stuff. Some needs to go in the loft but it’s heavy and then we just have to carry it down again. Most is in his room thankfully