Where do you put dc’s uni stuff

[coffeegirl73]

Am trying to be “zen” about dd’s stuff from uni which is currently all round the house as I attempt to find somewhere to put it. She doesn’t want it all piled up in her room so now there’s some in the sitting room , some in the bathroom downstairs, som on the stairs and a huge pile on the landing upstairs. I need to have a talk with myself about not letting it bother me. It does though - bother me! Am going to get some boxes tmw so it mite look more tidy - currently there are a lot of bags spilling over with her stuff . How does everyone else find space to store all the stuff x

Do that then. Say ‘If you haven’t sorted some space for your extra stuff by Wednesday I’m going to do it. First thing I will chuck are those dead plants. I’m going to be ruthless so if you want to keep anything, go through it now.

It hasnt been an issue as they are at uni miles away so only back at end of terms. That said we do have spare bedding for guests so they could use that but if you don't that would be a. Issue!

Do a Stacey Solomon on her room with her.

It was always a nightmare, with each DC whilst they were in halls- every available space in cupboards, wardrobes, drawers, attic, garage...you name it, we filled it.

Might be worth encouraging a 12 month rental rather than term time, so next summer it doesn't come home at all..

After halls I always negotiated summer storage of my stuff in my next house when I was at Uni. Is that not a thing any more?

It does sound like she is burying her head in the sand a but and might need a bit of tough love and support to sort through some of the old stuff in her room to make it function better. My kids are younger but we're currently in that transition from childhood to teenager and dd is especially reluctant to part with loads of old tat she has kept and is important to her....I expect your dd is going through a similar transition into adult hood. At that age I compiled a memory box which I stil have containing letters, cards, significant bits of jewellery, mix tapes, photos and some clothing. It's all nonsense now but I still keep it in the loft. Maybe suggest creating something like that with dd as a way into the sorting out?

Also could things like pots and pans go in some sort of garden / shed storage?

This is my job for today. My conservatory floor is covered in DC’s crap from Uni which has annoyed me for weeks. He had to clear out his room first of all of his younger stuff, which he has done. Even after putting 4 bags in the attic and a tip run (all of which he did) I still have half the floor covered with ikea bags and boxes. There’s no room in his bedroom so he’s going to have to find a way to get it in the attic or in the garage at his dad’s so I can have my house back.
So when I say it’s my job, it not but I need to make sure it happens. I’m making his favourite Sunday dinner for when he’s done.
OP I feel your pain, but direct, don’t do it yourself. If they’re at uni they’re adults and they can/should do this themselves.

We rented storage for £6 a week. Money well spent!

My DD had loads of kitchen equipment because she did a lots of cooking, not £1 pizza from Iceland and the like.

You aren’t helping her by allowing this. Give her a deadline to sort out her room and fit EVERYTHING she wants to keep in it, anything in the rest of the house is taken to the tip .

Blimey I had to say to dd the stuff either found a home or it went to the tip.
Excess bedding you either store for a spare if you don’t have any or it’s disposed of.
excess kitchen stuff the same.
Her tv she gave to her housemates who were staying on to do their masters otherwise we would have taken it to the tip again, we don’t need any more TVs at home.
She came home on the Thursday and by the Sunday everything was back to normal.
The house belongs to all of us and none of us deserve to live with a load of shit piled up on the stairs and all over the place. Not for me anyway!

Mine is home from uni and has been (slowly) sorting herself out. Anything that can't be put away in her room is going in boxes in the garage. None of her stuff is spread around the house.

If her room needs to be clear for her mental health, then she should be cleaning it, not refusing to empty her bags! She's presumably an adult now - she needs to be taking responsibility for her stuff.

Your house has to be box free for your mental health.

simple choices

(1) it goes in her room

(2) it goes into storage - at her cost not yours (ie she will need a summer job to fund this)

(3) she finds somewhere else to stay taking her stuff with her.

she is home for the holidays and doesn’t get to dictate how the whole house lives around her stuff.

put your foot down and stop this utter nonsense.

her junk - her problem - not yours.