Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)

[mygrandchildrenrock]

Having just pegged my washing out, ladybirds came swarming all over it. Each item of clothing had 3-6 ladybirds on. It made me think about washing being left out overnight and the horror that spider might ‘wipe their willies’ all over it!
YABU -Will my washing be safe
YBNBU -Will I have to re-wash it?!

I would think that the name 'ladybird' would mean that they don't, but then maybe the 'trans thing' has now been picked up by the insect world...🤔

Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that, but how do ladybirds have baby ladybirds if some of them aren’t men!

Yes! Here are some pictures of them (different species)

I'm not sure.

Barnacles are renowned for the length of theirs though, if that's any help?

They do, even ants do.

most insects have a “lock and key” type genitals so they can’t accidentally mate with a different type of insect. So a male ladybird penis will only fit into a female ladybird. And an ant couldn’t have sex with a ladybird.

Initially I thought your washing would be absolutely fine, but having seen the detailed genitals diagram I have changed my mind.

You should double bag your laundry and take it immediately to your local tip where it can be disposed of safely.

Thanks. I now have "Do barnacles have long penises" on my Google search history.

Which is why there are no insect swingers clubs- fact.

How long? Could they reach a washing line?!!

I believe they are pretty long. If you live by the coast then maybe get a tumble drier?

Nice! I hope there's is a big jump in people searching this, and someone at Google is scratching his head wondering why there is a sudden interest in the length of a barnacle penis 😁

This is already shaping up to be one of the best Mumsnet threads ever

Thanks for this thread @mygrandchildrenrockand everyone else that has posted. I needed a giggle after a rough week (DH in critical care following an aneurysm and emergency surgery on Monday) and this hit the spot!
For the record, I am one of those MNetters who lets their washing get darked on and doesn't care about spider's willies! 😂

8 times their body length so they can fertilise their neighbour. Thank goodness human males don't have this feature. (Closes bedroom window just in case)

Ooh this so needs the laughing emoji back!!!

@Justlovedogs Really hope your husband is well and home very soon. You must have had a helluva week.

I'm sure half of them must have!
Their name seems to be a rare example of the female getting "the upper hand" sts - whereas in most animals, like dog, lion, tiger, peacock, etc., the male name is used for both.

I heard they had nine hour orgasms and no qualms about necrophilia.

This is why we had to stop keeping barnacles.

Porn!!

8x their body length... can you imagine??

Isn't the Internet great? In the old days you would've had to go to the library to dig out this sort of info with the help of the librarian. Although, you probably wouldn't have been discussing ladybird penises with a group of strangers (or maybe you would...I'm not judging).

Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises

Flatworms have penises with two heads, and they fight each other with them... I know men that would DEFINITELY do that if they could

I think they're all girls

No idea how they reproduce 🤭